Thanks to TRutherford, Mew-ltiverse, Westrin, Cerastes and Henzoid for their always valuable feedback!
Definitely a very interesting concept in general. The mystery of what the kids went through to become in their current state really got me thinking and the final messages especially "never ever grow up" was a really nice reference to Peter Pan and could possibly be literal.
+1
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Dark. I suppose this is what happens when an anomalous someone takes "Nothing Gold Can Stay" too seriously.
+1
As much as I enjoy the inclusion, the "never ever grow up" line feels like a bit of a hitch now, standing out against the other closing lines. It would almost serve better as the only line in the closer.
Overall, this is a short, sweet little unsettling mystery. It does exactly what it sets out to do. +1
This gives me a pretty strong Series I vibe: there's a vague implication of what the story might be, but we're never told what exactly happened. The anomaly remains mysterious and pretty unsettling. +1.
I think this is really interesting, and I like it a lot. I might cut the two lines at the end besides “never grow up” or replace them with other Peter Pan related quotes. And this might be more of a taste thing for me, but I would have liked to hear how the heads move in the water (do they contract their esophagus? Just kind of wriggle? I’m a little bit curious and would’ve liked to know more than “through unknown means”. Other than those two gripes (one of which is honestly just to my taste) I really like this SCP.
Going back to this, it's such a great example of short and effective storytelling. I do feel like echoing others in that the "never grow up" line is a bit too on the nose but it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the article.