I think that this is an interesting exploration into the thoughts and feelings experienced by some of the Klavigaar before the end of the Sarkic War. While it doesn't match my own headcanon about this, I think it is an excellent way to explore the idea of "we are building a world where monsters like us wont need to exist".
Very Serenity in that.
Some crit, I think that some of the prose is exceptionally purple.
Their eyes meet unguarded, and she sees the exact same thoughts in him as writhe through her brain.
This took a moment for me to understand, and I had to reread it a few times before the word salad made sense.
While a stylistic choice, and one that I have chosen myself more than once, purple prose can be really detracting if taken to the point where the exposition becomes unreadable. I think that it's meant to create evocative imagery, but if it's too much, it becomes a distraction.
+1, a pleasant addition to the Sarkic lore.
(account deleted) 25 Feb 2020 19:21