SCP-5550 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5550.

Tab jaake ke kahin humne sar pe… Yeh kesari rang sajaaya hai.

(account deleted) 25 Feb 2020 03:46

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Like this piece? See it and many more saplings like it, at Popsioak's Garden, here!

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Spoilers:

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Nalwa mentioned he wanted to protect innocents.
Additionally, he mentioned gardening.
Why is he smaller? Maybe there's less of him there, and more floating around after the windstorm… But that's for another time.

This is a personal story to me - aside from being a sikh myself, it's a bit of a way to represent my paranoia as it pertains to my anxiety. I feel a lot like Nalwa sometimes. I know other people do too: worrying that they push a lot of people away with their emotions, or that they're a burden, or because they're angry and have huge outbursts. Know that I'm always here for anyone to talk to, yo.

Credits go to: Brewsterion 1017. Love ya, dude.
Mew-ltiverse, Faceless, Westrin, MalyceGraves, Calibri Bold, Laneous, Almarduk, and loads of other people, definitely. I just can't remember them all. (or they were on IRC; if that's you, lemme know, I'll be sure to credit ya.) Thanks, everyone!

Suggested Accompanied Listening:
sad song -> Teri Mitti (Your Dirt/Earth/Land)

Talvaron pe sar vaar diye… Angaaron mein jism jalaya hai… (Swords bear memories of our blood… Burning embers remember our burnt flesh…)

happy song -> Sanu Kehndi (She Tells Me/Us)

Lai chal mele, naa ji! Assi ni vele, haanji! (Take me to the fair. “No dear.” I am not free, “Yes dear.”)

both from a movie about a different sikh escapade, the battle of saragarhi.
image creds below :)

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https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hari_Singh_Nalwa_british_museum.jpg - US public domain

Last edited on 25 Feb 2020 03:59 by (account deleted) Show more

Re: Tab jaake ke kahin humne sar pe… Yeh kesari rang sajaaya hai.

Brewsterion 1017 25 Feb 2020 12:17

I couldn’t have done this without Popsioak, and it was a bit of an experience working on my first collab with a friend. Thank you so much, as well as thank you to all those who critted, and to you for reading. I hope you enjoy it.

Snapdragon133 25 Feb 2020 13:56

Loved critting it, loved reading it again. +1!

Uncle Nicolini 01 Mar 2020 22:42

Singh leans a little too much into the 'proud warrior race guy' trope for my liking, and he comes across a little bit like a cartoon character because of it. There's also a lot of fat that could stand to be trimmed, which would no doubt improve the article. That being said, the idea of an anomaly taking over a Foundation site is a novel concept and it was executed well enough. Overall this isn't bad, but it doesn't swing me enough towards a positive because of the lacking characterization and writing glut.

+1

MJL1 26 Mar 2020 00:12

show criticism?

If I had a bit of constructive criticism, I would've maybe made it clear that Mago was lying about the Sikhs against their own desires. I thought Mago was just trying to shield SCP-5550-1 from knowing the unfortunate truth. It never would've occurred to me that Mago didn't write the original containment procedures.

I happened upon this SCP by chance, and it was unexpectedly good. I feel bad for Researcher Mago and SCP-5550-1. Those two were rather cute together, and it's sad to see SCP-5550-1 turn on his friend like that. It was really sweet seeing Mago standing up for Nalwa behind-the-scenese like that.

Overall though, it was a good story. I hope it gets followed up with supplemental tales or something. I really want to know what's become of SCP-5550 now!

Also, more Dr. Trevor Condon Mago pls.

qookin 03 Jul 2020 07:53

could use a higher res picture. its available on the commons link

Nice article... A few problems

Apocalypse of John 09 Jul 2020 23:38

Yeah a very creative one here, especially considering you included the chaos insurgency.

A few problems tho…
How the heck can some ancient SCP speak fluent English?
Why does the doctor refer to SCP 5000-01 as SCP 500? Does the SCP care that it is named this?

Re: Nice article... A few problems

(account deleted) 12 Jul 2020 01:20

On the first bit; he's not exactly… ancient? Nalwa as a person only passed away in 1837. Plus, the army in which he participated in, the Khalsa Fauj, trained with Frenchmen who are said to have taught them English. Even tossing that aside, I'd see the CI at least having the presence of mind to give him some language training.

Second; no, he really doesn't. They know his name, obviously, and presumably Nalwa is used to being referred to without name given his time in the CI. Also, the article's number is 5550, which is making me unsure to if you are talking about this article or maybe have accidentally confused it with another.

Last edited on 12 Jul 2020 01:21 by (account deleted) Show more

Yasha277 12 Jul 2020 10:17

Enjoyed it enough for +1, but I was a bit annoyed by one specific cliche: the foundation administrators were basically idiotic douchebags that treat the SCP as a tool and refuse to acknowledge the obvious fact that it has feelings and that there's major risks involved. It would have been pretty easy to have him turn on everyone without them being so derp.

one question and some compliments

aeternam75 21 Jul 2020 11:46

Great one i feel the empathy and the dilemna of Dr. Mago. As someone said previously a bit sad that the administrators are the obvious dick in the picture, although fundation creed is to secure and not to use nor to destroy (or so we are lead to believe). Overall great one, a bit lacking of subtlety but i enjoyed it.
I have a question what is PoI-1342 , is this something SCP-lore related or is this polonium iodine (witch is not the good formula and why the 1342) ? or something else ?
I m not a native english speaker I hope it's readable and understandable.

Re: one question and some compliments

etoisle 18 Aug 2020 13:14

PoI stands for Person of Interest, in this case Hari Singh Nalwa.

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do my gay little computers make you mad? do they make you want to hurt me?

Maxyfran73 05 Jan 2022 22:35

A really good piece; really loved the dialogue between Nalwa and Mago. It was an expected outcome, but a fantastic way to get to it nonetheless.

+1