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not funny, didn't laugh
a new entry in the little Undervegas thing i've got going on — including SCP-4967 and SCP-4661. thanks to everyone who read this in chat — including but not limited to aismallard, woedenaz, uncle nicolini, daleep, ellie3, mcb, and probably several others who i have forgotten to note down. enjoy.
image: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:RedLightDistrictAmsterdamTheNetherlands.jpg
Copying this from IRC:
Prostitution is illegal in Vegas (and the rest of Clark County). Illegal prostitution is a major issue for the city, they crack down on it super hard—establishments especially cannot survive.
But it's still a 5bn industry, because the in-city prostitutes seek out clients in other casinos. So here's a suggestion: instead of being a brothel, have it be a small mini-casino or other establishment where prostitutes are commonly known to pick up clients. Because that is super, super common in Clark.
As outlined in the Covenant1 between the Foundation and SCP-5690-B, the Foundation will prevent local authorities from disturbing SCP-5690's operation.
If the Foundation can keep their existence secret, I have no trouble believing they can hide a brothel from the cops.
Honestly I think it's one of those things that will only bother readers from the region or who have lived in Clark County. It's a local suspension-of-disbelief thing: if there was a brothel in Vegas that the authorities couldn't/wouldn't shut down, EVERYONE would know about it, and that seems counter to the Foundation's goals.
if there was a brothel in Vegas that the authorities couldn't/wouldn't shut down, EVERYONE would know about it
I think it's fair to say that if the Foundation were running and/or involved in a Brothel, they'd do well enough at keeping it from being too well-known. If the Foundation is capable of erasing the memories of entire countries, I am pretty sure they could manage to keep the city police (and even federal police) from raiding a Brothel.
As for the entire city knowing, I do not think that is an issue as long as the involvement of the Foundation is kept secret and the knowledge of the brothel is managed to a degree.
STERLING: Yep, it's a brothel.
+1 I enjoyed the read. The article felt liked it flowed nicely. Good job.
Doctor North was here. Just don't let South know, or East….never tell East.
Son of a- I fell asleep after work yesterday. I had my crit all typed up this morning and WHAMMO. ITS ON THE FRONT PAGE!
Oh well, here it is.
"SCP-5690 is a brothel located in the city of Las Vegas. SCP-5690 is staffed almost entirely by Ardor-class demonic entities, characterized by a specialty toward the third Cardinal Vice, lust. SCP-5690 currently employs 16 Ardor-class entities."
Maybe I'm missing it, but aren't Incubi also classified under Ardor-Class? So, why "almost entirely"? is there a mention of mortal prostitutes also working there? If not, couldn't it be condensed down to "currently staffed by 16 Ador-Class entities, characterized by a specialty…" ?
The second addendum might have more punch if the line was logged as an after-action report, creating the required unknown gap in time for them to, well, "confirm" it's a brothel.
Besides that, it does lack a certain level of escalation. The dip from the second addendum works fine, but I feel like there should be an incident, or some instigating event that requires the third interview beyond just, well, an excuse for more exposition. There doesn't seem to be a reason for the third addendum at all - the foundation is already aware of the brothel, what it does, etc. Even some minor incident as an excuse to bring the "Matron" in for questioning would provide the right amount of escalation.
Beyond that, the twist ending is super cute, but a bit out of left field. It opens up a lot of possibilities really quickly (i.e. Big J is up and about and getting his freak on) but shuts them just as soon. It's a good twist, just jarring.
+1, but the narrative pacing is a bit of a drunk walk.
P.S. Per the whole Illegal Prostitution argument - this isn't Vegas, it's Sin City, Undervegas, Hell Vegas, whatever. The establishing universe set out by 4661 means that I can absolutely believe this new Vegas quickly turned around on the brothel argument.
This is fucking hilarious. I've never read 4661, but this stood on its own. +1 you glorious bastard you.
+1 from me.
The ConProcs and ACS fits this anomaly perfectly. The description is probably a bit lacking but then again, its a modern day brothel run by Incubi so I get why it would be lacking in description. The real good thing I enjoyed from all of this was the Addendum, with the interviews.
I did love the fact that Adams was in serious trouble because of him being a pervert. I also love how they are some genuine demons who haven't tried to break the Veil, just trying to get through life. Although the Incident Log flew over my head but I'm guessing it was significant in another story.
TLDR: You did good humour, it fits in nicely with how I would have imagined an underVegas would look like, and it feels nice to read a business skip not breaking the Veil. +1
Pretty sure that the unknown visitor is Jesus, what with the crucifixion line.
0 from me.
I really enjoyed myself reading it, and it was undeniably funny. However, the camp factor is keeping me from the upvote. To my mind, the name of the game is verisimilitude when it comes to SCP articles in particular. And what keeps me from getting there isn't the fact that this is a brothel or the fact that a Foundation agent went to one, or even that a demonic madame would charge for her time.
What keeps me from getting there is the consistent use of comedic writing tropes in the transcripts. Funny is one thing, but in this case the piece is too self-aware of its comedy to read as a natural event. That's what I'm looking for when I crack open a skip. So I'm sorry, but I don't feel right upvoting it in its current form.
I reckon you could get it there with a bit of work on those transcripts, though.
This encapsulates my thoughts and summarizes why I'm a 0 too. This presents as very shallow as it is, especially with the tacked-on implications at the end. Not that they're bad or out of place, rather it just feels like an unearned twist.
It's funny enough to upvote for me, to be sure.
The only thing I missed in the conprocs or in general is that the employees are visibly anomalous. What would they/the Foundation do to make sure that clients don't blab to their friends about the actual horned demons in the brothel? Why don't they attract more general attention?
Little horns aren't the weirdest thing people may equip when engaging in intimate activities. It seems to me that the establishment is suggested to be not-very-vanilla with regards to the kind of service they provide. In this respect, it seems very deniably non-anomalous.
This is very funny. Adams and Sterling are a delightful buddy cop duo, and Adams is a tool so it’s also good to see him get his comeuppance at the end. The short incident logs are also delightful.
