I want to like this, I really do. Formatting aside (don't indent after the conprocs of description!), the writing is clean and compelling, and you've got a nice sense of humor shining through in the test logs. Even the concept itself is solid, and got me hooked.
Like Nagiros said though, there really isn't much of a narrative here, just a weak twist. Her parents are dead. Okay. You don't build up enough empathy for the kid to make that have an impact, and it's not really a surprise or factor within the context of the anomaly, the kids life, or their shared history. It just… is.
Ironically, all the building blocks are there, but this isn't a complete article yet. Novote.