SCP-5998 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-5998.

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Cerastes 15 Jan 2020 00:13

Away with such a God! Better to have no God, better to set up destiny on one’s own account, better to be a fool, better to be God oneself!

God's dead. But why?

First of all, huge thanks to Philip Ob Rey for allowing me to use one his works for my 5kon image. Check out his website here. http://www.humantropy.com/

Permission

Thank you to everyone who critted this, like lt flops, akimoto and cimmerian, among countless others I'm probably forgetting. Special thanks to RTME and Kinchtheknifeblade for inspiring parts of this.

While you're here, why not check out my other stuff?

Numbers desired: 5003, 5004, 5998, somewhere else between 5001-5010 if available, 5343

psst, check out the white text.

Last edited on 04 Apr 2020 23:57 by Cerastes Show more

Shaggydredlocks 15 Jan 2020 01:30

This might work for those who aren't well-versed in this particular aspect of wiki lore, but for me, there isn't a whole lot of intruigue to be had here.

The base idea of your subject is definitely one that's worth pursuing — I'm not against it remotely, but it's too bare-bones for me to truly become invested in it. Short articles work for me when there's something very novel, unique, or interesting to make it stand out; evocative tableaus concentrating on imagery or aiming to evoke a specific emotion are also an excellent way to use brevity to your advantage.

This is falling just short of each of those attributes. It's shining light on an established piece of site lore (one that, again, I would like to see explored), so it's not quite going out there in terms of originality… and, despite having the potential to evoke strong emotions or paint a memorable picture, it gets a touch distracted in detailing supplemental details and political events that don't meaningfully contribute to the moment the mystery is built upon.

Junior Staff - Site Crit

gee0765 15 Jan 2020 20:39

[+ Outdated Opinion]

This one was definitely a difficult one for me. There were parts of this that tried to sway me both ways and I'm still unsure of my novote to some extent. I appreciated the actual overall concept quite a bit. Short articles are something I enjoy, and I'm not incredibly familiar with this aspect of site lore so I knew enough to get what was going on without having some of the issues other commenters have.

However, there were also a few things I disliked. The first is entirely personal and I don't expect many others to have this issue. I almost never enjoy white/hidden text in article. I understand that's not something that can really be addressed in this as it's one of the main things it stands on, but I find it to be confusing from an in-universe perspective and a pain to access on my phone.

Besides that, I think shaggy hit the nail on the head to some extent. While the imagery was passable for me (possibly partly because of the image, though the description of the gravestone also hit pretty hard), I didn't feel any especially strong emotional connection to any of this. This was in part due to the final stinger of the hidden link not having the impact that I imagine you were aiming for. Simply having an explanation for the messages and anomaly did make me go "ah-ha", though after that it felt slightly lacking. Overall though, the exploration of the mortality of deities and similar beings is an interesting concept, and it was mechanically solid enough that I don't feel it deserves a downvote.

The additional characterisation added in an update to this article is something I consider to have improved the article and I have changed my vote to an upvote. There's now enough here for me to feel some emotion, which wasn't really here in a large enough quantity before.

While I'm a little unsure about why the letter is in a handwritten font, especially as it's been translated from another language, it can be argued that it adds some form of personal touch and isn't something that would affect my vote anyway.

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to gee0765 or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

Last edited on 07 Feb 2020 23:18 by gee0765 Show more

Uncle Nicolini 15 Jan 2020 20:58

on a technical level its written just fine, and the image used is a damn good one, but this ultimately leaves me out in the cold as this is much too barebones for my personal liking and fails to appeal to me emotionally as well.

notgull 15 Jan 2020 23:20

The hidden text trick is still a good one, but I didn't really get anything from this article. It just feels like ground that's already been tread on too many times.

Novote.

Site Criticism Team - Staff Review

TheMightyMcB 16 Jan 2020 15:11

Reviewing this per a request on IRC.

+ Crit

Any changes observed in 5000's condition should be reported to the Department of Tactical Theology immediately.

In this context, "5000" could refer to the SCP or the outpost.

towards the approximate direction of Greenland.

I wouldn't describe direction this way. I would use a compass direction.

Those who are currently non-religious, but have been so in the past will typically experience a religious reawakening, professing their return to their faith. Religious personnel transported forcefully to SCP-5000's near proximity will experience seizures and remain incoherent until removed.

This feels incongruous because you had just gotten done talking about religious people, then you jump to former religious people, and then back to religious people again. That order doesn't make sense.

In general, I find myself not feeling all that strongly about the piece. The fridge logic fell flat for me since I really only know what akiva radiation is in concept and not really much else. All I could really glean was that a god died and the Vatican covered it up by dropping it off in the arctic. It wasn't a satisfying ending, hence my -1 novote. The new note helped add some more character to this.

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to TheMightyMcB or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, SoullessSingularity, for any questions or concerns relating to this review.

Last edited on 09 Feb 2020 22:45 by TheMightyMcB Show more

Seed of an Idea

DrHawkwind 16 Jan 2020 21:08

It's gonna be a no-vote from me, and here's why -

I don't know if it's because I myself am intensely religious, but I love this concept. I love it so much, and this line just made me love it even more -

It feels beautiful… dying in the dark. You're living in the light. I did my duty.

So many stories and ideas came to mind when I read this line. This is beautiful, and heartbreaking. It deserves to be expanded, dramatically so. It deserves expansion on the scale of Rituals, or the Montauk House. This idea, I think, is strong enough to be nurtured, and grown, and developed into the best article on the website. To keep it this short would be a shame.

Please, please, please keep working on this. There's so much more here, so much potential. Give it the time it needs to grow. And thank you for writing it.

Re: Seed of an Idea

adirtyshame 02 Feb 2020 08:40

couldn't have said it better myself. the imagery evoked by the white text is truly breathtaking, at least for me. realizing it was there changed the way I looked at the whole piece. at the very least, I'd love to see this expanded on, if not in this article, then in some other fashion.

Percevale 17 Jan 2020 14:14

I personally like this a whole lot, and also find it properly unsettling that we can discern so little about this dead deity other than that it was covered up. The picture is also extremely good.
I will say I'm not sure it required the linked 001, but I haven't read all the hidden text yet. I think the entry stands alone fine & is more suited to the mystery theme itself.

Last edited on 17 Jan 2020 14:18 by Percevale Show more

sachiel187 23 Jan 2020 02:27

this was a cool article (hidden text included) until i got to the end, and the link to mctriss's 001?

i guess maybe i kind of get the connection sorta, but it definitely feels forced to me. there's not enough meat here to justify that. and certainly not enough for an X000.

novote because the concept is still really cool and the anomalous effects are interesting.

God's dead, Jim (2.0)

Cerastes 24 Jan 2020 01:34

Okay, changed a few things. Hopefully you guys like it.

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