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Thanks to Henzoid, TRutherford, ratking and Westrin for their feedback in chat!
SCP-4473 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4473.
Like I said when reading, the picture you paint with the art piece is sooo funny and unsettling to me. You did a rlly great job with the imagery in this.
pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming
I feel like the <nothing happens> bit in the end is kind of awkward, I see what you were going for but it doesn't make much sense, there is no reason why they would type <nothing happens> followed by just <nothing>, though that's just my personal opinion
(account deleted)Surprisingly, I didn't feel this piece. When I saw the DoMC header, I thought it'll be something strange and mysterious in terms of the text (like it usually is in DoMC articles), but the story itself felt pretty obvious to me, especially since you've stated what the anomaly does in the description. I feel like all those parts with "nothing" could've worked better if we didn't know exactly what they were hiding: in this state, I'm pretty sure that any foundation personnel would be able to deduce what's wrong with the document and that'd be it.
There's also a story here, of course, but the main character didn't seem interesting enough for me to sympathize with and his motivation for creating SCP-4473 is kinda bland.
I'm pretty tired of "it's a person but can't be perceived" as a SCP story. SCP-4773 is extremely similar and there are several more bouncing around.
This one in particular was relatively weak as there was no mystery to finding out the 'nothing', it was just outright stated (as AlanDaris mentioned), while 4473 has an 'oh no' moment at the end. The thing that sets this apart is the vignette about artist drama, but it was too sparse to carry it.
Upvoting because I enjoyed this, but nonetheless echoing the previous commenters in their complaints about this feeling a little repetitive. Especially because another Department of Miscommunications skip, which even uses all the same digits (4, 7, and 3), has a very similar concept.
But I like your style, the degradation of the interview is neat, and, as with your WWS piece, your portrayal of the anart scene always impresses me somehow.
Agh, this is perfect!
Apart from SCP-4473, nothing is also present inside the containment chamber.
I caught that little 'also' right off the bat, and it primed me to take in the rest of the article in the intended manner. What a trip! I love that log, especially when I noticed "Somebody" and then had to do a double-take and see what had changed. This is so great, seriously. +1
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
