SCP-4915 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4915.

Author Post

(account deleted) 28 Dec 2019 22:55

Too many walls, not enough entertainment. 1/10.

So, here's my first "comedic" SCP, which, ironically, is also based on human suffering just like most of my other SCPs. I thank the following cool people for feedback:

• Cerastes
• DianaBerry
• cybersqyd
• MalyceGraves
• MaliceAforethought

Thanks a lot to you for reading as well!

Nearly forgot: Image Link

Last edited on 29 Dec 2019 10:48 by (account deleted) Show more

Re: Author Post

ThrLiterateLad 24 Jan 2020 19:11

I really like this.

In a sea of bulky 5kcon entries, this is a nice breather. I was thrown for a loop in the beginning, thinking it was going to be your standard humanoid anomaly sob story, but that lackluster first impression quickly devolved into intrigue, which in turn became amusement. The comedy of this article works really well. I especially liked how the incident logs reiterated on what is essentially the same joke while changing enough to keep it fresh each time.

Spoily Bits:

+ show block

I know this is probably just a one-off, but I really hope we hear more from "the travel agency" in the future. An extradimensional GOI that sends people into odd and anomalous situations is a really fun idea.

My one question is how the guy keeps escaping with such airtight conprocs. If they were changed after the escape attempts then why weren't they changed as soon as they figured out that this guy could teleport?

All in all, it's a +1 from me.

Last edited on 24 Jan 2020 19:12 by ThrLiterateLad Show more

Re: Author Post

(account deleted) 24 Jan 2020 20:41

Oh hey, thanks a lot for your comment! Responding to the questions regarding the plot:

+ show block

how the guy keeps escaping with such airtight conprocs

The current conprocs are very effective, so he doesn't escape anymore (even though he'll surely try, given the situation he's in), but at the beginning, the Foundation didn't know the whole specifics of his ability. In my mind, they set up this whole double containment chamber thing as soon as they realized that it'll be effective enough.

I know this is probably just a one-off, but I really hope we hear more from "the travel agency" in the future. An extradimensional GOI that sends people into odd and anomalous situations is a really fun idea.

At the moment, I don't have plans to write more about it, and/or make it a full-fledged GoI. Him mentioning this is kinda my attempt at world-building which would suggest that there are some scammers who tricked the poor guy, which led to this awkward situation. If someone else finds the idea of that agency interesting enough to write more of it, I certainly won't be against it.

Re: Author Post

THUDD! 25 Mar 2020 18:49

This made me chuckle. Multiple times. Out loud. WHILE READING SOMETHING THATS NOT IN A MEME FORMAT!

Overall…1/10
The service on this article sucked I’ve been waiting for my food for an hour now.

MalyceGraves 28 Dec 2019 23:36

Oh hey! I liked this.

And, as I said when we chatted about it earlier, fuckin' sucks to be that guy.

(account deleted) 29 Dec 2019 00:12

Yeah. Imagine getting your money taken away for a trip that doesn't even exist, and ending up in containment because of it.

Nagiros 29 Dec 2019 01:12

This is an extremely admirable exercise in character-building, especially given the rather silly conceit of the narrative. I empathize with this dude, like a lot. Not to mention the idea of accidental self-containment… damn.

But… But it was there, on the website. Five stars, all-inclusive, great stylized hotel themed after a research facility. And all those brochures, what they were all about then?

wait a gosh darn minute

(account deleted) 29 Dec 2019 09:08

Thanks a lot!

wait a gosh darn minute

Yeah, they might've shown him something like 3408. I thought about this skip while writing it, but didn't crosslink because there's not much connection in terms of story.

AgentAX 29 Dec 2019 09:57

Well…. yeah, I don't know about this one. I would've instantly upnoted, were it not for this phrase:

The multiverse travel agency promised me so much,

It really feels like forced exposition to me. I think that the existence of such an "agency" is implied in an excellent way throughout the article, and then you're just saying it out loud like that. A great deal of this article's fun aspect is coming exactly from 4915's insinuations, which leave the actual nature of the "agency" to each reader's imagination, so the ending just ruins the entire piece.

It's a novote, of course, but should you remove this phrase, I will change it to an upvote.

(Edit: Since the phrase in question has been removed, I've upvoted the piece)

Last edited on 29 Dec 2019 10:18 by AgentAX Show more

(account deleted) 29 Dec 2019 10:09

Actually, after a bit of consideration… I guess you're right. It's not necessary to explicitly state that detail. I guess it won't hurt the piece if I won't mention the nature of that agency.

So yeah, removed the "multiverse" part.

Last edited on 29 Dec 2019 10:11 by (account deleted) Show more

DarkStuff 08 Jan 2020 08:41

I think the ending wasn't as strong as it could've been. I dunno, "fucking hell!" just isn't a strong ending line for me. I am not exactly sure where else it could have left off. I did like the skip as a whole, though. And I liked him realizing he's not in a hotel. And it is, indeed, a bit comedic. +1

ModernMajorGeneral 08 Jan 2020 11:21

SCP-4915 is a middle-aged male capable of short-range teleportation.

If the guy in the pic is middle-aged this makes me feel very old.

no visual or audible effects

I think this would read better as "visible or audible" (or "visual or auditory")

I feel like this doesn't go far enough in any particular direction to be as good as it could. There's a few things going on here, but none of them are as exciting as they could be - the absurd comedy of thinking the Foundation site is a hotel is cut short by the interview, and could be made a lot more bizarre - the same goes for this concept of the interdimensional travel agency. Alternatively, the dark humour/horror elements of this (the relative mundanity of booking a holiday and being locked up for it) are also not really run with very far.

(account deleted) 08 Jan 2020 15:48

That's totally fair. I guess the reason for this is that the aim of some ideas here was more to imply the situation than to show it fully (like the last twist). Also, it was my concern to not let any of those elements to outstay their welcome.

Regarding the travel agency, I'm not sure whether it's worth expanding upon. But I guess if it is, it might as well be its own thing.

Thanks for the nitpicks too, off to fix those parts now.

Dr Grym 22 Jan 2020 17:57

The situation's kinda funny.

Just a thing : I'm surprised there isn't a note about how the Foundation searched for the website / travel agency after the interview.

+1 for me.

(account deleted) 22 Jan 2020 18:32

Just a thing : I'm surprised there isn't a note about how the Foundation searched for the website / travel agency after the interview.

I thought about it, but kinda decided that this detail would be pretty self-evident and not necessarily required within the interview log itself.

C8H17OH 05 May 2020 14:10

LOL, it has been long since last time I laughed so happily when reading an SCP. +1

sachiel187 28 Aug 2020 03:56

Remember: The SCP Foundation is not a hotel.

+1