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Summary deletions result for:
SCP-4956 is a 3 metre tall statue of an angelic figure made entirely of gold. It looks like a man with two wings and a long robe. Personnel working with the statue have reported a mild dizziness when within the cell which intensifies the longer the personnel is inside the cell. Observing the statue in person will result in the observer dropping down, bowing, and praying to the statue. If the observer is removed to where he/she cannot see the statue they will become aggressive and potentially murderous, improperly self-deleted, cleared at -19 with RockTeethMothEyes and TSATPWTCOTTTADC witnessing.
Feedback ported:
It reads too much as "a thing that kills you," or "an all-powerful being," and the dialog isn't very fascinating. There are no explanations for what is this thing, why was it created, and who was its creator. The text implies that humans created this entity, but then there's nothing else, not even a sense of interest on the questions I raised before. Overall, it seems too short to be very interesting.
Edit: I misread the article, but the first question still stands. This also brings more to the table on the substance of the text.
There's not much substance to this skip. Have you read the How to Write a SCP page? -1
(also half of your tags aren't official. I'm sure the staff will let you know themselves so I'll cut this short.)
As already pointed out, this is playing on two major tropes already (the SCP is god, the SCP is a statue that kills you). Having said that, if you want to go ahead with it, I've seen drafts in worse shape than this one. Here are the problems I'm seeing:
SCP-4956 is kept inside a 4 metre tall black wooden box with no way to access it.
I think you need to elaborate on this kind of thing. What procedure is preventing people from accessing the box?
Personnel are not permitted to physically observe the object and must enter the cell with a blindfold and look away from the box.
Why does anyone have to enter the cell at all? For testing? If so, what tests? Maybe do a test log, as this article is very sparse.
Only specially trained personnel are allowed to view camera footage.
Again, too vague. What kind of training? You could say something like "Only personnel exhibiting a natural resistance to cognitohazardous entities or with a high level of parapsychological training may view camera footage".
Then there's the dialogue. That's very problematic, to be honest - it just doesn't read like an adult having a conversation with someone at all. The responses of the entity are equally casual, something that's really only used for joke SCPs where the tone is deliberately (humorously) casual. There's a rule of thumb in writing that says "show, don't tell." Everything is weirdly spelled out in this dialogue - maybe read some other interview logs to see how other docs phrase their questions, and then try to imply that the SCP is god through its responses, instead of just flat out saying it.
Even better would be to avoid the whole trope and make the SCP into something that is neither god nor a thing that kills people for no reason, IMO. You could brainstorm ways to add something more to the SCP (maybe the statue remembers being carved 800 years ago, maybe it tells people their innermost desires, etc).
This article has a severe lack of clinical tone and there's no narrative it's just an X does Y type of anomaly.
SCP-4367 and SCP-1337-J summary deleted after failed self-deletion attempts by their authors. TheMightyMcB witnessed.
SCP-4526 summarily deleted for repost without change, witnessed by TheMightyMcB
SCP-4983-1 is a Cligraph NO. 1 typewriter dating back to 1881. In an active state it will begin typing on its own and causes nearby humans to experience sudden dark, depressing thoughts, often involving them and/or their loved ones coming to harm. The text typed by the object matches the basic concept of the affected subject’s thoughts. These thoughts completely occupy the mind of the person, causing them to become unable to focus on other subjects until they have written their thoughts down into a story format, or made an artistic depiction of them. After this, the subject is cleared of the anomalous effects and generally feel relieved claiming “It got a lot of weight off their shoulders.” SCP-4983-3 are the works created by instances of SCP-4983-2, these are extremely detailed and make the reader or viewer feel a strong sense of unease, yet subjects exposed to them claim it to be quite beautiful nonetheless.
Deleted at -14 and three votes.
SCP-4197 is a downloadable computer game prototype, developed by █████████ Studios in █████, Japan. The art style, cliché's, and objectives of the game resemble that of a typical Japanese anime dating simulator prevalent within the modern gaming community. SCP-4197 centers around the player character, a supposed adolescent male, trying to engage in a long-term relationship with one of the six most notable females in his school, -17 and three staff votes.
SCP-4492 is a Caucasian male who is currently at time of writing 28 years of age. SCP-4492 has short black, blue eyes and a relatively large build with a height of 1.97 meters (6 foot 4). SCP-4492 is of British descent and claims to be from the English town of Liverpool, despite not carrying the typical Liverpool accent. When any form of written media or text is within a 500 meter radius of SCP-4492, it will alter drastically into what SCP-4492 describes as "Layman terms", -14 and three staff votes.
SCP-4962 is a previously undiscovered species of zooplankton resembling ostracods. SCP-4962s' anomalous properties begin to manifest once a fish consumes it. Once inside of the esophagus, SCP-4962 will begin to grow a tumor-like shape resembling another one of its species. Once the tumor is roughly the same size as SCP-4962 itself, it will break off and become its own instance of SCP-4962, -15 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
A few of the notes should be part of the description and you probably want to do another re-write cause this version is a little hard to read.
SCP-4432 is a 3m tall purple wooden building with yellow and green stripes going around it with a large red sign that says "Bob's Everything Store" hung above the door. The outside of the shop is decorated with Halloween decorations even if not currently in the month of October, all attempts to remove these decorations have failed. The inside of SCP-4432 is a room full of large shelves filled with many different items, but all items in the shop are attached with a yellow tag that says "not for sale", -22 and three staff votes.
SCP-4845 refers to the anomalous creation of the popular television show Friends and its related production material (SCP-4845-1), as well as the creation of false memories within SCP-4845-2 instances. SCP-4845-2 refers to any person who has a memory of being involved in the production of SCP-4845-1. All of these memories are false and have been created by SCP-4845. SCP-4845-3 refers to the locations at which SCP-4845-1 was reportedly filmed, locations which do exist in reality, but have not been the set for any actual filming, improper self-deletion, cleared by me at -12 with Pedantique witnessing.
Feedback ported:
Short little idea I've had in my drafts for a while. For those wondering, "Solito" refers to an object with widespread effects that aren't seen as anomalous, and thus are not actually disruptive to the norm.
I'd recommend that you put the definition in the ConProcs under a footnote or something, just because people aren't likely to read the discussion page.
-1, not only for the article in general which looks a Friends but anomalous and from other dimension/universe/reality but because of Solito.
The definition doesn't make sense. it's like saying that we breathe oxygen or the water is wet.
The super involved header followed by bare bones formatting is extremely jarring.
The actual story here is barely coherent and implies way more than is actually in the article, imo.
-1
SCP-4755, also known as "Shadows Spawn", is a creature created by SCP-4754.
SCP-4755 is generally a Safe class SCP, however, when commanded by SCP-4754, it can become very deadly making it a Keter class.
Deleted at -43 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
This has some pretty systemic issues resulting from, I assume, a fundamental misunderstanding of the standard required for a mainlist article. You'd be doing yourself a favor if you took the time to read other articles and compare them to this one, and mark the significant differences.
I'm assuming that you are relatively new to this so I'll be gentle.
So, I read your SCP article and like what some of the people have said above, I think you sorta missed the proverbial nail so to speak. There are many problems with the SCP article that could have been avoided.
1. The SCP site is not a draft page, the SCP site is a place to showcase finished products. In the guide-for-newbies it should explain this all very well. Get greenlit, get feedback, get draft help, and then post. You don't just post an article that you wrote without getting feedback.
2. An SCP article needs to be clear and SOMEWHAT easy to read. I understand that you know, big science words, but the writing style of the site is rather concrete. Special containment procedures need to be clear especially for a Keter class SCP. Keter means that when you use the box method, you either need a really need a lot of effort to contain the thing in the box, or you cant keep it in the box, to begin with. You do not explain HOW to contain this SCP. Why is it so dangerous or so uncontainable? Why what little there is of the containment procedures redacted? You need to know how to keep this thing locked up if its a Keter. None of this is very clear nor does it have a scientific tone like the rest of the site. Heck, I don't even know what your SCP looks like, let alone what it does.
3. Know your classes. Going back to number 2, how is this entity a Keter and safe at the same time? How can it be left alone in the box with no issues while simultaneously being extremely hard to keep in the box. Judging by how little you wrote about the actual entity, I don't think you can even give this a class. It does not do anything. For a quick tip:
SAFE Leave it in a box, it will stay in the box regardless. Poses little threat
EUCLID Leave it in a box, you're not quite sure what might happen. Moderate level of danger because of unpredictability or its effects
KETER Leave it in a box, you either need an EXTREMELY strongbox and a lot of supervision, or no box could reasonable contain it. Poses moderate to a major threat to our world
THAUMIEL It is the box
All of this stuff on classification relies on your storytelling. Why is this SCP Keter? What can it do? Why does it do what it does? Why should readers care about this SCP? Some things to think about I suppose…
Please take into consideration what I've said. It's best to just start off with a clean slate and follow the appropriate channels first before posting to the mainlist. Take your time, have a story to tell.
I have no idea what you’re doing here. This is completely unfinished article which makes no sense.
SCP-4755, also known as Shadows spawn, is a creature created by SCP-4754.
This is confusing. The first time I read this, I thought SCP-4755 made SCP-4755. If you’re going to reference another SCP, pick one far in the future.
The SCP Foundation would not address it as “Shadow spawn”. Where did this name come from? Does it have to be so edgy?
If SCP-4755 escapes containment immediately flee area and send a help signal to ███████ if █████ then ██████████ █████ ███████████████ ██ .
This is lazy. There is one sentence and 99% of it is redacted. There is nothing creative about this sentence.
Unfortunately special agent ███████████ was killed on its discovery Dr. ███████ recommends it's disposal as soon as spawned.
Why should the reader care? There is nothing connecting us with these people so why include this? If you want to engage the reader, create something exciting or something that interests them.
-Image of agent ███████████ will be classified until approval of ██████████████-
1. If you’re waiting on someone to approve your image, don’t include this.
2. If this isn’t actually something out of the story, how does it contribute to the article?
3. Why do we need to see an image of this agent?
Please consider my points and listen to TheCynicalToymaker. This wiki is not for unfinished work.
Good luck in the future.
Edit: I've resolved several of your articles grammar and formatting issues but you should still fix a lot if it. As you are a new user, feel free to revert anything that was intentionally made that way.
SCP-4983 is a small ██████████ encased in what is thought to be ███████ █████, but chemical analysis remains inconclusive. SCP-4983's main affect occurs when its internal temperature drops below 32°C. It will begin to emit subtle accoustic vibrations that are barely audible, but can be felt by touching SCP-4983. The loudness of the vibrations and their effects gradually increase over time, until ███████ ███, completely stopping the vibrations.
Deleted at -25 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I just read your article, here are several problems I saw right off the bat:
SCP-4983 is to be kept in Cell ████-A or ████-B, 10 m x 10 m x 3 m containment chambers within ████████████ Area-██. The cells are ██████████████ regulated and ███████████ ███████████████, with walls constructed of reinforced ██████████. No sound should be able to exit the containment chamber.
This many redacted symbols is lazy writing. You aren't telling me anything here- all I see are black blobs. The article has become hard to read due to all the redaction. Don't overdo it with the censoring.
Object Class: Apollyon
Why is this Apollyon? If it is easy to contain (which it is), it should be a safe class. It's only bad if you fuck up in its containment which would probably the same with a lot of SCPs. Just don't drop below 32°C and you should be fine.
Description: SCP-4983 is a small ██████████ encased in what is thought to be ███████ █████, but chemical analysis remains inconclusive.
I literally don't know what it is. Correct me if I'm wrong but the redaction here isn't part of the SCP, is it?
A containment breach of SCP-4983 would likely mean end of human civilzation.
The SCP Foundation designates end of civilization events like this "K-Class Scenarios". I suggest reading up on Petrograd's list of K-Class Scenarios for further information.
All in all, you went a bit overboard with the censoring and had a few information hiccups. Good luck, hope to see some revisions.
SCP-4367 is an ethereal being approximately 5 and 1/2 feet tall. It appears to be composed of fog and several other gases, because of these features SCP-4367 can pass through most solid materials. SCP-4367 is known to have connections to SCP-4999, usually manifesting a short period after 4999’s appearance. SCP-4367 acts as a guide who brings souls to the underworld. During this passage SCP-4367 and the chosen soul pass through limbo, during that time in limbo SCP-4367 shows the soul it’s happiest moments in life. For an unknown reason SCP-4367 prioritizes the souls of criminals and delinquents. Despite SCP-4367’s humanoid appearence it does not make any sound besides an eerie whispering, despite obvious efforts SCP-4367 has not been recorded ever uttering a word in this world. Attempts to record SCP-4367’s actions outside of this world have been semi-successful.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-4648 summarily deleted after its author blanked the page. Witnessed by pxdnbluesoul.
