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I'm just not feeling this. There's a ton of mystery and implication, but none of it seems to pay off. It's objectively better than the original (it at least drops most of the body horror), but doesn't work for me.
To me if the current story about the girl and her family feels underdeveloped, which may've been a limitation relating to keeping the spirit of the original alive while still having some new content. Still, I'd much rather hear about the girl's story than learn about the lampreys.
The issue with that is the issue with many narrative-heavy scips: The Foundation simply doesn't know, and there's no way to effectively make them know, without an exposition dump somewhere (which I am not a fan of at all)
I could write a tale all about the Pearl-Eaters who lived on the southern Iberian coast. Could do a whole lot with that. But the Foundation sees none of that - all they have is an unmarked grave nine and a half thousand years old.
I can't help but wonder how this fits into the general Djoricverse. Any answer to that is disturbing, quite honestly, if you think about it.
Short and sweet, leaving enough out for me to come up with my own headcanons. Much improved, Djoric.
And if the whole world is crashing down… fall through space out of mind with me.
I dunno. Wavering between neutral/upvote. I kinda liked the shambling, over the top Doctor Who monster of the original article.
Individual lampreys can break off from the primary mass and move under their own power, acting similar to non-anomalous specimens.
Maybe "congruous to" or "analogous to" instead?
Addendum-01: - Physical examination of SCP-218 […]
The Case Of The Mysterious Extra Hyphen: Typo or Something More?
Addendum-02 - SCP-218's behavior […]
Also, I noticed that this doesn't have a colon. Apologies if I'm being a bit pedantic, but I'm slightly obsessive when it comes to internal consistency.
And my problem with is that this article is just competent. That's all. You took an old article, fixed what needed to be fixed, included an emotional hook, and that's all. You see, maybe I'm biased, but since the Author is Djoric, I expect far more than that. From my point of view, you could have added more not just to improve the article, like exploring further into the origins of the skip. For instance, archaeologists are able to reconstruct History throughout pieces of ancient artifacts.
Imagine you're a SCP researcher and you're reading this. At the end, you will assume what the skip is, because you're not stupid, and wonder why the person who wrote this didn't give a formal but personal interpretation of what could've happened. It's more than obvious what the thing is. And the way you give all the puzzle pieces and refuse to solve it make the article feels incomplete instead of "cold".
Overall, it feels like a lazy rewrite, so I'm downvoting it.
You're not entirely wrong on that - the big issue I had during the process was how little there was to work with, and difficulties in giving it any sort of spark.
I had considered them finding other artifacts, but left that alone because it struck me as too much "exposition dump at the end". Perhaps I might change on that and edit them in, or edit in researcher commentary, I don't know.
I fundamentally disagree with the concept that this is a iazy rewrite, because I think that does a disservice to those who do rewrites and cleanups.
As the captain of the Rewrite Team, I can confidently state that one of the most difficult things in doing a rewrite is balancing how much you need to maintain in the original article and how much you can add of your own style. Far too many rewrites of classic articles try to take the original material and spin it off into some piece with so much of an author's personal style that the original article is barely present at all.
This is delving somewhat into personal opinion, but rewrites should not be a space for the author to completely dismantle an article and make it unrecognizable. Rewrites are where an author examines the best parts of an article, absorbs the original's finest points, and then uses those to highlight the article's strengths. The concept of a "lazy rewrite" only exists when you can't appreciate an article written with a classic flair.
Also, there is absolutely no reason for an SCP researcher to ever make logical jumps just because it "seems obvious to do so." That's just not how science works.
Rewrites are where an author examines the best parts of an article, absorbs the original's finest points, and then uses those to highlight the article's strengths.
This article's previous strenght were the images. The original point was to make you cringe at that edited picture of the eye. And it's obvious why that was not gonna work if you were to use this in the new version.
Now, let's move on to my favorite metaphors ft food: Have you heard about deconstructed food? The basic concept is that you take the individual ingredients of a regular/classic dish, and then plate them together in a different way. The people who eat this kind of dishes does not realize what it actually is till they mix the flavors in their mouths, and there comes the brilliancy of a deconstruted dish You see, this article had an A, B and C elements. I don't feel this article does that. At most, it's adding a new element (D) and polishing the elements already present. If much, He substracted a problematic element (B) and that's all.
What I want to say is, refrain yourselves into doing more by fear of losing the original point of the article is not the best way of action. And after thinking about it, I found my own words a bit unfair. I'm aware how hard is to work with such tiny space. But if you were to choose between an amazing product against a mediocre one, I highly suggest to judge based not only in wich one is more alike to the old version.
*Sighs*. It's annoying to do all this, but I'm being so bold about it because I do care for this article, and I know Djoric's stuff always get a well earned upvote from me1.
The concept of a "lazy rewrite" only exists when you can't appreciate an article written with a classic flair.
Heh. I got to know this place back in 20112, and I was lucky enough to read most of articles when KD, lolF and some amount of goofy humor were still ruling the site. I enjoy the old-fashioned style whenever it comes out, but failed to feel the magic with this one.
I would like to know the size of the aquatic containment chamber, I would also like to know if it is fresh or salt water.
Also, "■1 tortoiseshell hair comb
■1 bone figurine of SCP-218. Shows signs of heavy wear through handling.
■1 human skeleton, being that of a juvenile female estimated to be between 4 and 6 years of age. "
Space between tortoiseshell - Tortoise shell
and
The human skeleton belongs to a child/kid, a juvenile is a person in their teen years (ish).
