Level 5/4677 Clearance
This may just be a headcanon difference, but I've always considered clearance levels to be:
- 0 = all Foundation employees
- 1 = Junior Researcher
- 2 = Researcher
- 3 = Lead/Senior Researcher
- 4 = Site Director/Department Head
- 5 = O5 Command/Ethics Committee
By this, it's strange to see a level 5 clearance individual asking for a level 4's permission, but like I said, it could all be chalked up to headcanon. Just thought I'd mention it.
Foundation contacts within historic academia will reinforce the popular belief that the original formula contained trace amounts of cocaine until it was changed in 1929.
This is an excellent hook. You have my interest.
the pseudo-occult fraternity named "The Order of Auðumbla"
I'd cut out "named" here, personally.
Anyway, the first set of rooms were i: machines, boxes, and a bunch of barrels, the type of things you'd expect at a pop factory.
Not sure what he's trying to say exactly here. Possible typo?
its tentacles tied and pulled taunt
taunt -> taut
Candler: [Exaggerated sigh.] I had no time to wait for the will of this monster. Simple supply and demand— and its supply was not meeting our demand. I did a test of my own to see if the… "departed"… would satisfy this creature's hunger. It did, in fact, did produce the same results— but the creature was not pleased. It fought back. Of course, some silly monster was no match for cold hard American steel— hence its bondage.
This line here really embodies what I liked so much about your characterization of Candler. This was spot on for Roaring 20's capitalism and it really drives home a central theme of exploitation.
Considering the vast financial benefit of an agreement with the Coca-Cola Company, using anomalous means the Foundation developed a synthetic compound that replicates the desired effects of SCP-4677-2.
I'd flip this sentence around a bit to read "Considering the vast financial benefit of an agreement with the Coca-Cola Company, the Foundation has developed a synthetic compound that replicates the desired effects of SCP-4677-2 using anomalous means." Just reads better.
Consumption of this compound leads to an increase in favoritism and the overall enjoyment of Coca-Cola causing a subtle psychological dependency on the beverage.
Missing comma after Coca-Cola.
The Foundation purposed to mass-produce this substance as required and despite not receiving SCP-4677 Mr. Candler agreed to these terms. In return, on 1928/6/29, the Foundation received a 20% holding in the Coca-Cola Company and ownership of SCP-4677 and SCP-4677-1, which contains the only copy of the rituals relating to SCP-4677.
I'd also restructure this bit to read "The Foundation has proposed to mass-produce this substance in return for 20% ownership in the Coca-Cola Company and the continued containment of SCP-4677 and SCP-4677-1." I think it's much more concise and easier to read.
On Sunday and Thursday, the Maintenance Team is to inspect, calibrate and activate the SCP-4677 restraint system.
I think "Sundays and Thursdays" would read better. Alternatively, consider giving an approximate time of day to maintain consistency with the rest of the document?
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