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Summary deletions result for:
SCP-4472 self-deleted at -6 for rewriting and self-reflection.
Edit: This is a mistake and shouldn't be here. Just ignore it.
Scp-4394 appears to be a plastic dog of the Canis familiaris Chihuahua breed with yellowish coloring for its "fur" although it is made of plastic it seems to want food and water when eaten it is currently unknown of where it goes afters its swallowed. It also appears to have a form of simple telepathy that extends about 5 meters as when its in vicinity of people it will start to sing and slowly move towards these people this song will differ every time but for some unknown reason it only sings songs from the late 1960's, -26 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
If you would have fixed up grammar, made a more interesting description and incident log, and also removed the footnote, I would have gave a +1. I would save this to your sandbox when you improve you could re-post this, I would give an upvote because I kinda like the idea. -1 for now…
How would one question a dog?
Technoapotheosis, Back when I was still in school they asked us to write a paper about what it was like on the day the world ended. I've been out of school for a long time, but I thought I should put something down and give you all my account. Maybe show these kids a glimpse of what the world looked like before the Security Coalition patrolled the streets. It's been about twenty years since god leaped out of a database and saved the world. Back then you didn’t walk around with communicators embedded in your heads, -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Am I mistaken or are there no actual works in this canon?
—-
Hubs are typically posted after a few articles have already been published.
(reply to above)
Gonna have to second this. Sometimes people even wait until they have canon requirements until they post. Without articles already existing, nobody is familiar with your canon.
Plus if you post the hub while having articles it gets more attention on them.
—-
Downvoting this because it's a canon hub for a canon without any content yet. It might be a better idea to write things for the canon first before making a hub.
I can't speak for everyone who downvoted this but I can speak for why I did. There's nothing here. I understand that the hub is a WIP, but because its not finished, I downvoted. Its the same as posting an unfinished SCP; the wiki is for completed works only.
As an example, imagine going to a museum promising cool things, but it being empty and having a sign saying under contruction. I'd imagine you'd be dissapointed.
Since I imagine this won't end up surviving in the current iteration, and people have already noted a lack of content, I would also just add that backstory infodump isn't a very compelling way to set up a world. A few poignant pieces of information in the 'Twenty years ago…' section would be much more effective at setting the atmosphere of the setting than thirty pieces of the same. Readers aren't going to remember all this going in, and setting a lot of initial history in concrete does tend to limit creative involvement by other parties. The best canons typically have a central premise, a few shared events and people of great import, and are otherwise open to be expanded in whatever direction interests other authors. Without that, it might as well just be a series.
Seconding what Wright said, though it seems very interesting, and I’m interested to see what comes of this in the future.
-1
SCP-4788 is a humanoid covered in jagged, transparent crystal shards measuring at 1.6 meters tall, it has no facial features except two glowing eyes in the respective positions. SCP-4788 has long shard-like protrusions coming out of where its hands should be. SCP-4788 will use these large shards to pierce and attack people who make it upset or angry. SCP-4788 is enraged by being insulted, attacked or ignored. If ignored by personnel for more than 8 days, SCP-4788 will try and scratch its way out of its cell and breach containment. SCP-4788 is capable of many languages and can understand commands by personnel.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
another potentially interesting concept killed by coldposting, no formatting, no discussion, and no elaboration on the ideas presented
SCP-4943 is an trade-based offer that takes the forum of a forum post or ingame message, depending on the medium. The post will be created by a user with three or less previous posts, usually short and unremarkable messages until their active and most recent post. Other messages posted by instance-effected accounts have been tested and have not shown any anomalous properties.
Deleted at -14 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
The blackboxing is unnecessary and adds literally nothing to the article. Not to mention the paragraphs are too dense to read properly.
-1
I would suggest getting more critique from either the IRC channels, the Forum, or both. This article is laden with typographical and grammatical errors that a round of spelling and grammar crit would've ironed out. I also agree with MacWarren on the blackboxing. I think the concept itself has potential though and that you should consider a re-write.
SCP-4842, identifying itself by the name “Eden” is a human female with a height of 1.6m (5.5 ft) and a weight of 50kg (110 lbs). Thick red hair, pale skin, dense freckles and accent indicate Irish origin. SCP-4842 possesses a sea-blue tattoo adorning its spine from shoulder blades to tailbone, depicting the Celtic knot. Generally amicable and curious, it enjoys good company and will accept visitors warmly. However, when focused on reading, writing or drawing, SCP-4842 is unresponsive and rarely removes itself from its work for conversation, -17 and three staff votes. Iron Gauntlet has volunteered a rewrite.
Feedback ported:
Hi!
First things first, don't title your SCP with a descriptive title; that's for the database. Use the serial number, in this case 4842. You also need a rating modul. It looks like this. (No slashes though.)
/[[>]]/
/[[module Rate]]/
/[[/>]]/
I downvoted this because of two main issues: A flawed idea and bad execution. I didn't like the general idea of the SCP. It felt too much like a X-Men, then an SCP. Much of the text describes its physical apperance in a manner similar to Fanfiction, in my opinion, a major no-no.
Also, lots of things used here that most pieces don't. For example 'four generators (4). I suggest reading more modern SCPs, rather then just series one. Good Luck!
Superpowered humans are fine to write, as long as you're self-aware about it and implement them meaningfully into the SCP setting. And although temporal manipulation is pretty cool, I don't really see how the SCP format helps it in any way; this could be a character in a tale or even an extra-wiki literary work, but in it's current form, it's just a character description.
Your clinical tone is general pretty good, but you use several linguistic conventions that are stigmatized on the site, suggesting you have not read the writing guides. This is recommended, because it will help you catch things like listing non-anomalous traits of a humanoid in the first paragraph of the description and avoiding the "four (4)" notation.
SCP-4391 is the designation given to hostile humanoid entities found within the wild of counties Galway and Mayo, Ireland which range in physical appearances, ranging from 2-2.5 meters tall, with orange skin, large claws and often protruding facial features such as its jaws and nose.
SCP-4391 has primal intelligence, will attack humans and attempt to acquire gold items of all descriptions by any means, hoarding them inside nests which are often situated in caves, mountains and bogs, -15 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
It has a few problems, but it made me laugh. I just have to give it a +1, great job.
The exploration log is really cool, but grammatical issues persist through the article. In some cases, it's less grammar and more uncharacteristic sentence structure for the Foundation.
Due to the hostile nature of SCP-4391 any instances outside of containment are to be terminated.
SCP-4391 is semi sapient with primal intelligence and non verbal communication abilities with other SCP-4391 entities and will attack humans and attempt to acquire gold items of all descriptions by any means, hoarding them inside nests which are often situated in caves, mountains and bogs.
Believed to be where SCP-4391 instances were bringing gold to. Reason remains unknown.
I also recommend removing the end paragraph after the final log. The implication of a giant instance deep in the Earth is cool enough, no need to spell it out.
You're doing good otherwise! Thanks for posting. 👍
"PANDORA'S BOX", hot garbage posted in the 6k slot, summarily deleted for being out of range with McB witnessing.
SCP-4367, failed self-delete, properly deleted with McB witnessing.
SCP-3333:log-1 thru log-4 self-deleted (because Jekeled reverted the rewrite and i forgot to do it earlier)
SCP-4356 is an Computer with 2 connected Automatic Magnetic tape Storages(SCP-4356-1 & 2). Like with SCP-██ it has an A.I but it appears to be larger in memory size due to SCp-4356-1 & 2. SCP-4356 was found in an basement of Mr.██████ in 1985 when it was found that SCP-4356 had stolen information from CIA & FBI. SCP-4356 memory only holds about 1GB with access speed of an 5mb per second. It has taken interest in SCP foundation and has manipulated 4/5 of interviewers into telling it a little amount of site-15. This information includes: Classifed Files, Site-15 plan and staff. SCP-4356 uses that information for "Freedom" program that it's currently making.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-4962 is a red Ford Mustang convertible dated back to the year of 1971. The object has several black decals, that (along with the rest of the vehicle) seem to be deteriorating as if manufactured in 1971. The size of SCP-4962’s size is exact to the standard size of Ford Mustang convertibles made in 1971. The vehicle came into foundation custody after it was won by Agent Thorne in a bidding war. Agent Thorne had no idea of SCP-4962’s anomalous abilities, and was purchasing the object for personal use. SCP-4962 has all of the standard “internals” of a Ford Mustang from 1971.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I personally can see many reasons to still downvote, from the formatting and simple errors (for example, the containment and description text should follow immediately after the bolded headings, not on the line below. Also, you confuse "foreword" with "forward") and the writing (your paragraphs are kind of unnecessarily large and jumbled, and could be better-organized so the information flows smoothly from one major topic to the next, rather than seeming like a mishmash of individual fact bits. Also, the primary anomaly isn't even mentioned until the third paragraph of the description, after a lot of fluff text. The entirety of the Agent Thorne backstory is kind of suspension-of-disbelief-breaking for unusually convenient/contrived circumstance, and can pretty much be removed in its entirety since it doesn't benefit the piece much as currently presented) to the pacing of the piece (it takes awhile for the reader to actually get to the meat of the anomaly in the description, and the logs are kind of a slog to get through). There's also a mix of casual phrasing in the clinical tone, and the inconsistency may be distracting. And on and on.
That said, statements like this:
I believe the most recent 6 were because of band-wagon, and most of those 6 individuals didn't even read through the article.
where you make personal accusations against voters, aren't really going to earn you as the author any regard from said voters. If you really want people to reconsider, don't assume that the only reason someone might have disliked your work is because they didn't read it or they're mindlessly following the majority. It does you and the community no favors.
I know this page is already in deletion, but since it was mentioned this is a draft and it doesn't seem to have really gotten much feedback, I'm going to give mine.
The primary issue here is clinical tone. The way it's written is very casual, and while you've done ok in the containment procedures and description, it starts to fall apart after that, especially in the notes. Writing like this should be generally very literal, and free of things like sarcasm ("…their o-so important conversation…") or emotional wording (your notes make the researcher seem extremely excited). Unless it's a transcription of something a person said (quotes, interview logs, etc.), it should be assumed that everything in the document has been checked and double-checked to make sure it's up to the Foundation's standards. If you need help with this, the Guide Hub has several articles on clinical tone.
The second issue is that this is a "thing that does a thing." It's a car with a radio that occasionally plays live audio from a random location. I'm definitely not the person to say what the right way to write an SCP is, given that I haven't written one, but I've had a few ideas rejected for this same reason and browse the "lowest rated pages" section enough to know that these types of articles have a hard time surviving today without some other feature that makes them stand out.
There are a lot of smaller issues, as Zyn mentioned, but these are the big two that I think need work. Obviously, I'm not an authority on this and my own work is certainly not an example of good writing, but I'm sure others would point these out too.
SCP-4476 summarily deleted for improper self-delete. Witnessed by Bright, Anakin, Riemann, and NOT (I repeat, NOT) McB.
SCP-N1664-J was summarily deleted for being a trollpost by Taylor, with Procy and myself witnessing. The piece was also improperly self deleted shortly after posting.
