Hmm. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole article being in a collapsible but I don't think it's a huge issue.
That said, you appear to have an extra "//" at the start of the text for the Overseer Council header? And I don't really like the look of the number there? Neither of these are major tbf.
I kinda feel like the two Containment Updates should come after the Special Containment Procedures.
macbinery
machinery
This lubricant is to be blessed by a member of Roseafar before use.
this line implies that Roseafar is an organisation; but later you describe it as a town in Scotland. Probably this mention needs clearing up as to whether you mean like, a church official or towns person. It's also not exactly clear why it needs to be blessed?
SCP-XXXX is an antique singing bird box possessing anomalous abilities when activated. During activation, SCP-XXXX produces a whistle resembling birdsong. Subjects within a 3 meter radius of SCP-XXXX will regain the ability to renember a forgotten memory.
Okay I have a few issues here. First off, I feel like you should mention what the anomalous abilities are instead of saying that it possesses them? Or alternatively something like:
SCP-XXXX is an antique singing bird box that when operated produces a whistle resembling birdsong. Subjects…
The 3 meter radius feels arbitrary too? I'd suggest "Subjects who can hear the birdsong" instead.
Finally, "regain the ability to remember a forgotten memory" is a little ambiguous (I initially parsed it as granting the ability to arbitrarily unforget memories); I'd suggest something like "will remember a memory they've previously forgotten".
Why this occurs is unknown,
This feels overly casual; I'd suggest something like "It's unknown why this occurs"
remember(you seem to consistently spell it with an n btw; there's an earlier one that's wrong and the third note has it wrong too); and memetic effects don't tend to cause memory loss (it's more associated with antimemetics; but even then it feels more like you mean "memory loss via amnestics"?)
Research has shown that SCP-XXXX has accurately recreated ██% of memories lost through aging, ██% lost through syndromes such as dementia, and ██% lost through memetic and cognitohazardous SCPs.
I'm really not sure how I feel about the black boxing here. I feel like there's a really big difference in effectiveness between 10% and 99%. Also same point about memetics here.
SCP-XXXX was constructed in the late 1800s by Lillian Hemingford, a clockmaker from Roseafar, Scotland, an autonomous community with a history of anomalous objects and civilians
This kinda feels like it should be two sentences; but at least the comma after Scotland should be a semicolon
assmbled
assembled
in order to mass produce SCP-XXXX-A
This is now the third time SCP-XXXX-A has been mentioned. It still hasn't been defined (and doesn't get defined later; though it is implied). I'm gonna suggest making it explicit somewhere, either here or ideally in the description.
let alone what SCP-XXXX is to do out in the field without being contained.
this clause is confusing to me and I'm not fully sure what you mean here. I think you're trying to convey "taking SCP-XXXX out into the field without being contained is a bad idea"?
lab boys
I'm not really clear who this note is being written for here. Lab boys feels a little casual if this is meant as an official research note; but it's probably fine if it's meant more as a diary entry that only Lucille Parsons will see?
anti-memetic
This is basically the reverse of my issue from earlier; antimemetics usually remove memories rather than restore them. I'd consider using "mnestic effect" here?
Only problem
"The only problem"
breaks or damages
breaks or gets damaged
There's the option of Roseafar. Seeing what the townspeople know about it, and how we can properly re-create it.
I feel like this should be structured more like "There's the option of seeing what the townspeople of Roseafar know about it…"
and they aren't
I'm inclined to say drop the they here
snoop in on
drop the in
Dr. Parsons's Note (An improvement)
There should be a colon after note. Also I guess this is a good point to bring up that I'm not sure whether the italicised sections here are meant as like, titles for the note? If so, I wouldn't have them in brackets?
John Sheperd
I feel like he should have a title reflecting his role (Researcher, Technician, Dr or something) for clarity.
Sheperd had brought up his days as a theatre director, and how when training a greenhorn actor, they'd use a tiny media player and hook it up to a discreet microphone, and there'd be a fellow telling him the lines.
Okay I don't really have a feel for the time this is meant to be set. But it feels,,,weird to me that they didn't immediately think of recording SCP-XXXX? It feels like the first thing they'd attempt and not a day 3 thing?
play it as to neutralize
drop the as
same as Johnathon
I'd be consistent as to what he's referred to. So far, he's been called "John Sheperd", "Sheperd" and "Johnathon"; later he gets called "John" for the full house.
Dr. Parson's Note: (Old Memories)
This is the only note where you capitalise both the italicised words, so it should probably be changed for consistency.
that we had tested
drop the had
had to have been me.
had to be me.
John had placed the bird as we've been calling it
Where had John placed the bird? Also probably a comma between "bird" and "as"; but that might change based on what you do about the lack of a place.
played this sad
played a sad
It had been me probably exagerating, because of what had happened.
I'm really not sure what this sentence is trying to convey but I'm pretty sure it can be cut
The good news had been
The good news was
I had seen memories
I saw memories
Its a
It's a
It maked
It makes
I had heard
I heard
they had came
they came
re-see again
I'd use either just "re-see" or "see again" but not "re-see again".
I'm smiling
I smiled (…you've consistently used past tense in notes; so I'm suggesting changing smiling here to fit that).
I saw of her, needing to be fed, having evrything in a liquid, being lifted by a machine amd shuffled in by a caregiver had vanished
"I saw of her had vanished: needing to be fed, having everything as a liquid, being lifted by a machine, and shuffled in by a caregiver."
…The "being lifted by a machine" probably needs a little clarity as to what you mean (a stairlift? or something to get her out a chair?)
I imagine that SCP-XXXX-A is to help.
This is a sentence I'm still not sure what you mean by; I think you mean something like "I imagine that SCP-XXXX-A is a help [here?]."?
…Do you mean "I imagine that the purpose of SCP-XXXX-A is to help people"? If so, imagine is a little clunky; believe might be better but it also feels more sure about the purpose.
Dr. Parson's Note: (Eureka!)
I'm really not sure where this whole note fits chronologically? It felt like the last note was the last time they tested SCP-XXXX? But you might mean one of these two to be SCP-XXXX-A?
A version of English, predating Old English. The language was widely spoken throughout England through 1150 to c. 1470. The langauge is the offical and mostly widely spoken language within Roseafar.
Scotland isn't in England; I'd suggest using "Britain" here (welllll, it depends on where in Scotland Roseafar is meant to be; if it's not near the borders, it gets a little complex. Early Scots or Scottish Gaelic might be more appropriate depending (roughly) on how far North it is.). Also Old English predates Middle English.
I'd also suggest just using "The language is the most widely spoken language within Roseafar."; it feels a little small to have an official language?
It ys the least I can doon for yow.
"doon" means "done", not "do". Uh, unfortunately my middle english is a bit rusty so I'm not sure if anything else is off with this section. The meaning is clear enough either way tho.
