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SCP-4623 has not been completely observed, only glimpses and peripheral sight; through observation it is a scarred humanoid figure with [DATA EXPUNGED], but It is able to know if anyone has seen the current holder and appears behind them within minutes of line of sight, it has been studied to be physically harmless, though death by exhaustion and caffeine overdose have been observed but tests are still continuing, -21 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
If you’re not going to put forth the basic effort of correct formatting nobody is gonna bother reading your article.
There are too many formatting and grammar mistakes.
A large room approximately 9'X9'X9' at Site-11 will contain the creature as long as it is not attempted to be observed, no > CCTV footage shall be taken of the room, anyone not the current holder, or another Class-D is not permitted to enter or observe the room under any circumstance.
Firstly, the measurements are not 9'x9'x9' but 9 x 9 x 9 meters.
SCP-4623 has not been completely observed, only glimpses and peripheral sight; through observation it is a scarred humanoid figure with [DATA EXPUNGED], but It is able to know if anyone has seen the current holder and appears behind them within minutes of line of sight, it has been studied to be physically harmless, though death by exhaustion and caffeine overdose have been observed but tests are still continuing. Those with SCP-4623 Attached to them will experience an extreme sense of paranoia.
Subjects may experience Insomnia due to the sense of danger and paranoia.
You already said paranoia above this line.
Blind people are not affected by any of SCP-4623 Mind Bending Qualities, making them the perfect host.
Ok, i'm very confused right now.
So you're saying that anyone who views this SCP will be its host but then you say that blind people cannot see this SCP and it makes them the perfect host.
This doesn't make any sense.
People Attached to SCP-4623 for some unknown reason have an Addiction for C8 H10 N4 O2 Also known as Caffeine, this Addiction can range from small doses of 10 Mg all the way up to 750 Mg.
Again, what does caffeine has anything to do with this?
Addendum: During one of the SCP-4623 Trade off to another Class D, something went wrong, and a guard ended up bringing it to others around the facility, inadvertently killing 3 people because of exhaustion.
What is this "something" that went wrong?
There are more mistakes with grammar and clinical tone which I am not going to cover up.
Also is not hard to bold something but i can see that you didn't even read the formatting section from How To Write an SCP tutorial.
Author i would really suggest you to read How To Write an SCP and Guide Hub.
SCP-4289 is a 16cm X 16cm X 14cm cardboard box. SCP-4289 is completely resistant to damage by heat, cold, blunt or sharp weapons, explosives, bullet fire, or otherwise. If any object, living or otherwise, is placed into SCP-4289, it will vanish, and appear inside of SCP-4289-1
Deleted at -13 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
A lot of the specific measurements are unnecessary, and the entirety of your containment procedures are bland/generic and doesn’t feel special or specific to the SCP. The theme of failed protection is communicated far too bluntly. The place you lost me was the exploration log where the Agent runs into the shoe vendor and becomes violent, although the detail of lungs stuffed with cardboard spooked the asthmatic 4 year old Roget living somewhere deep in my brain. The second log makes the Agents feel unrealistically unprepared. Why wouldn’t they know Japanese? You’ve also got a formatting error here in italics and generally have capitalization issues across the board.
The escalation of danger here at the end doesn’t really feel like it has rhyme or reason other than the article was coming to an end and you had to raise the stakes.
If you can cut away unnecessary detail, make this more subtle and add in some more horrific details like that earlier this would be a much stronger article.
I see potential here. I think this could be made into something good.
So, indestructible cardboard box, and if you climb inside it, you end up in Cardboard Tokyo. Good shit so far.
Attaching this to a specific reality-bender is pointless. The article should be about Cardboard Tokyo. I strongly advise dumping the bender.
what if, what if… to leave Cardboard Tokyo, you have to climb back into the box, but it has to be the same box. And Cardboard Toyko is full of boxes. And if you're not sure you climbed into the right box… are you sure you're in the right timeline? A field agent being debriefed, and he asks… wait, was your hair always that color?
so, logically, when you go through for an exploration log, tag the box with a radio beacon. And then find a whole alley full of boxes with radio beacons.
this should be the title, by the way. Not "Japan".
Cardboard Tokyo.
SCP-4862 is an old record player, dated about 1923. It has red wood side panellings with gold accents and a bronze horn, with a copy 1812 Overture on it's turntable. It is on a constant repeat cycle and will not stop playing the song even when the record is removed. although the record is removed it shall keep spinning despite no obvious force causing it to move, this in turn causes anyone holding the record to get burns on their hands from the friction, until placed back on the record player. When a subject hears the song, the world around them is altered so that their world matches with the beat and sounds of the song. The object will use nearby objects to match the banging sound, especially during fights. This caused Site ██ to suffer █ causalities, when SCP-███ breached containment as MTF Nu-7 could not fire their guns when required.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
Feedback ported:
For me, the main issue with this article is that it never really goes into what the SCP does in an interesting way? There's two Addendums about what happens when the SCP breaks containment, and a passing reference to the SCP preventing an MTF team from firing; but none of them are satisfying to read because they focus too heavily on the consequences of the effects of the SCP rather than like, what the actual effects of the SCP are?
You have a line in the description: "When a subject hears the song, the world around them is altered so that their world matches with the beat and sounds of the song." that shows this has a lot of potential to do something interesting but this effect is never really touched on again beyond a few token nods to people acting in rhythm to the music, which is not really the same thing again and it's a little disappointing.
SCP-4327’s appearance is a square television from the 1960’s. It has a remote with a qwerty orented keyboard on it. When a person’s name is typed into the remote, after a few seconds it will show the person's cause of death. This had occurred to every person's name typed into the computer. Please note that SCP-4327 does not cause the person to die, rather it show how they will die.
Deleted at -28 and three votes.
SCP-4192 is a 6"2 Caucasian male with brown hair and eyes. The special nature of his "gift", as he calls it, is of great value to the foundation. SCP-4192 has the ability of a god, and no limits to what the SCP can do. Being able to create things out of thin air, and disappear as a few ideas. SCP-4192 is still under testing as of what value he may have to researchers. Many of them believing SCP-4192 may be capable as an easy way to terminate other SCPs, -28 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This is basically SCP-343.
I'm seeing alot of pitfalls detailed in how to write an SCP. The random reference to SCP-682, Dr. Bright, the humanoid SCP basically being an X-man, the vague description of powers.. this piece only shows that you're new at this. And that's fine! Next time, try and put your best foot forward through the brainstorming forum, you'll get this feedback before you post to the main list and they're real nice about it.
I don't wanna seem like the guy who complains about "people loving series 1 too much" but it seems to be the case, seeing seemingly reasonless inclusion of popular series 1 SCP's (682 / 049) and characters (Dr. Bright). Now I am not saying you should NEVER include series 1 SCP's in your work, but try to have them mentioned have a reason.
result of containment breach in ████
In what? Is this a date? Location? (if it's a date it would have been ██/██/██, and if Date "Site / Area -█"
10ft by 10 ft concrete room
Remember to use the Metric system. The Foundation is an international organization and therefore use the Metric system due to their interactions with EVERY COUNTRY EXCEPT AMERICA
------------------—
> SCP-4192 requests for iced tea: Approved
>
> SCP-4192 requests for interaction with SCP-████: Denied
>
> SCP-4192 requests for interaction with SCP-049: Pending
>
> SCP-4192 requests for Researcher █████: Approved
>
> SCP-4192 requests approval on research on SCP-███:Denied
>
> SCP-4192 requests further research SCP-████: Approved
Why did you black-out all the SCP's numbers? (except 049) I know it's this whole "OOOO look at these mysterious SCP's that are redacted and probably dangerous cognitohazards or something" but unblocking at least one more of them would be nice.
------------------—
Other than that, how some have pointed out, this is basically just SCP-343 (God)
Remember never to give up, make drafts and always get some critique
You have committed the cardinal sin of redacting the Special Containment Procedures.
Please, please get your work reviewed before posting on the mainlist; by creating the article page you affirm that you went through at least a part of the critiquing process, but due to the variety of errors in this piece it is very clear you skipped this very important step.
Good luck with your future articles, author, and remember to seek help from the available forums while drafting.
SCP-4432 appears to just be a normal Guinea Pig, one you would have as a household pet, except it refuses death. Several (accidental) attempts have been made by being stepped on, squashed by a falling fridge, ran over by a car (twice), and a gunshot to its ribcage by a Senior Researcher Dr. ███████ with a pistol, who is to be demoted two level clearances. SCP-4432 has regeneration abilities much of other anomalies but restricted due to its small size in nature, -21 and three staff votes.
Curiously enough, Series 1 and 2 have a lower percentage of articles tagged biological than Series 3, 4, and 5 (Source). Just because you can't find many recent biological articles doesn't mean more aren't out there.
SCP-999, an article that was written 10 years ago, is definitely not what you want to try emulating in a modern article. The people that typically vote on articles aren't interested in that kind of work anymore.
My suggestion: using the Tag Search, search for the "biological" tag, sort by "Creation Date Descending", then check for more recent articles with a higher average rating (>+70). If you want to try writing an article about a biological anomaly — and especially one that people end up enjoying — your best bet is figuring out how people in the past few years have found success doing it.
SCP-4707 improper page deletion witnessed by rattles
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
SCP-4486 is an open cave, hidden in the outskirts of Ukraine. Only 8 explorations have been made, only 3 exploration teams have returned. With 1 going all the way down, the only survivors were 2 members of the torch team, 1 D-Class, and 2 researchers of the 5 that went. From the information gathered, it can be inferred that it qualifies as keter, -19 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
The "Why So Dangerous" bit made me cackle. -1
The idea is alright, in a kind of Series I/early II way, but could conceptually use some fine-tuning to make it stand out from similar skips. Aside from that, the tone is not nearly as clinical as it needs to be. For example, the note beginning with "sadly" doesn't really make sense unless it's a direct quote from someone since the file itself isn't supposed to betray emotion or state the subjective as objective.
-1 from me overall, but if you make the concept/narrative more solid and the tone clinical I could see this having some success.
You should use METRIC units rather than IMPERIAL ones. The Foundation is an international organization and it would be stupid of them to use illogical units literally only used by Americans
SCP-4742 is a caucasian humanoid who was born in █████, Texas. It resembles a teenager. It is not clear what the exact age of SCP-4742 is, however it is speculated that SCP-4742 is an adolescent. SCP-4742 has brownish hair and eyes and stands at 1.82 meters tall. Even after years of research after discovery, he always appears to look the same visually, and does not age. His clothes are the only variable that changes between sightings.
Deleted at -25 and three votes.
The tale of 7777
*Retrieved expunged data*
Unknown frequencies of magnetic waveforms, which were easily converted into sound.
An alien message, ringing out loud and clear.
“We knew you would convert our communication meant for you to be heard”
Once the SCP in their technology, white noise etc department, the workers their were slightly puzzled at the size of the waveform, which was displayed on the screen, for the file size of the recording of the waveform was 28 gigabytes.
Deleted at -18 and three votes.
SCP-4978 is a seemingly normal jar of pickles containing no less than 6 of them. No anomalous effects are noticable until it is touched in any way. everyone in the vicinity of the toucher(Now referred to as SCP-4156-2) is infected with a disease that contains 4 unique stages.
Deleted at -15 and three votes.
SCP-4192 is a children’s swing located in [REDACTED] park and shows considerable signs of rust. SCP-4192 consists of two adjacent swings attacked to a pole above by chains. The pole is supported by a tripod at either end. When SCP-4192 is swung when a living organism is present on the seat, the swinging motion will not slow rather speed up indefinitely, -15 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
-1. Issues with tone and vocabulary aside (for example, I think you meant "attached" and not "attacked" in the first paragraph of the description), the concept is very bare-bones. Not saying every concept has to be outstandingly weird and/or elaborate, but something a little more than a swing that never slows down would make this stand out better from the large handful of meatier articles that do something similar.
SCP 4273 is a walk man that has only one song on it. The song "My way" by Frank Sinatra. The walk man has two earbuds plugged into it and does not need any batteries. The object is colored in a white with a small serial number on its bottom side. If the object is used the song will play even after turning off. It will be vividly playing in the victims head almost as though the victim could hear it, -15 and three staff votes.
SCP-4285 appears to be a two month old white-house cat with abnormally large eyes for its size. Despite it’s appearance, SCP-4285’s true age been impossible to verify, as it has remained the same size and health since its first day of containment ██ years ago. Testing has revealed that the anomaly still requires food and water for sustenance, and neurological scans show no exceptional data pointing to sentience or abnormal intelligence, -14 and three staff votes. Mew-ltiverse and
TheBlueHour have volunteered to rewrite. Permission was given by the author.
Feedback ported:
The writing is pretty solid, but not enough to distract from the fact that this is a one-note joke, and an obvious one. Make sure concepts are posted to the ideas and brainstorming forum, an experienced reviewer would've steered away from this concept before so much time and effort was put into it.
Best of luck!
SCP-4346 is an entity that is reported to appear before, during, or after the partial destruction of inhabited structures, often leading to multiple casualties. Individuals that have seen SCP-4346 collectively report of it being pentapedal and possessing five identical growths on its head.
-13 and three votes.
Feedback ported:
This feels rushed. There are a bunch of small errors and I'm not a fan of the dialogue, particularly in the second interview. I dig the concept, and with a little bit of work I think this could be great, but for now I'm going to downvote.
The anomaly itself is okay, but it mostly just feels like a scary monster type thing. The dialogue needs a lot of work. The interviews were not very engaging, and mostly served to share information about the anomaly, when they should also feel like an engaging piece of the article aside from that. With some more feedback this could work better, but as it is now, it’s just kinda dull. It’s a -1 from me.
I actually liked this one. For one, it held my attention, which is a lot to say for articles that end up on lowest rated pages. I liked the core concept, but if I had one complaint is that the twist you told in your post here, author, had to be set up during the article itself. It needs little bits and pieces of information have to be scattered around to make the twist evident.
As others have said, the core concept is there, but the writing is lacking. Some sentences are a bit awkward, mostly in the dialogue. I'm leaving my vote neutral for now; there isn't enough reason to downvote it, but the writing needs to be improved before I would give it an upvote.
Neutral vote, for a lot of the same reasons as others. I really like the idea and your writing style (tone and whatnot) is fine, but the execution feels too shallow as is to keep my attention. With some tweaking I could definitely see myself upvoting this.
SCP-4258 is a dusty table with the table top measurements of 2x1.8 ft. and a height of 2.2 ft. SCP-4258 is capable of being used as a normal table, objects placed on SCP- 4258 are unharmed. Despite all efforts, SCP-4258-1 cannot be removed from SCP-4258 entirely. There is a penny hopelessly stuck on its surface, it is unknown as to why or how the penny sticks onto SCP-4258 so well, or where it originated from, -15 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
SCP Foundation is international, they wouldnt use Ft, but rather the more logical metric system
Your page URL is incorrectly formatted, it's just supposed to be "www.scp-wiki.net/scp-xxxx," the XXXX's being whatever number you chose to post under, without any additional phrasing such as "…-the-dusty-table" that you added.
Those name designations go on the actual mainlist as the name of the article but are kept out of the URL for brevity and consistency's sake. Try keeping that in mind next time you are posting, please.
