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GUESS WHO ACTUALLY FINISHED A SKIP FOR COLLABCON?
Tufto. It was like, mostly tufto.
BUT I DID SOME OF IT!
Part 2 coming… Before the end of the contest? Hopefully?
Thanks to KindlyturtleClem, Uncle Nicolini, Yossi, and anyone else who looked this over before we gave into the pink light and posted it.
First image: https://www.flickr.com/photos/maisonbisson/29051335263
Second image: https://www.goodfreephotos.com/other-photos/into-the-tunnel.jpg.php
Third image: https://www.maxpixel.net/Stairs-Upward-Bunker-Architecture-Building-2359436
End starfish is an asciified version of: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/19b9fa4b-ca3c-42bd-b83d-817085c240fb
Please forgive me for saying this, but "computer.jpg" is not available on this wiki; it's BY-NC-SA.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/maisonbisson/29051335263
Similarly, that starfish ASCII art is based an image, which is BY-NC-ND. I really don't think this final image can be used here, even if it's ASCII art.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/94120604@N07/8571784438
I also fixed the end ASCII art, it's now based off this image: https://search.creativecommons.org/photos/bb570726-9a8d-4a04-a4e3-ad44ed1300f3
Tufto, Captain Kirby, thank you very much!!! Apologize for the inconvenience.
Due to yet another licensing problem, the picture in the second article-iteration has now been replaced with this one: https://www.flickr.com/photos/cld/15103741. Thanks to Elogee for finding this.
GUESS WHO ACTUALLY FINISHED A SKIP FOR COLLABCON?
Kirby. It was like, mostly Kirby.
BUT I DID SOME OF IT!
Thanks to everyone who looked this over, including those who Kirby mentioned. I hope you all like this; it was an intense fevered mad rush of Fifthism and Mekhanite madness that took a lot of meticulous planning and execution.
And special thanks to Kirby for being an excellent collab partner with insane computing skills.
I just.. wow. There is so much going on here, with the lines of reality, illusion, vision and simulation bleeding into each other with pink blood. The prose is great, the narrative and presentation is gripping and is sure to keep me thinking about it. This was one hell of a ride.
(And the description of the starfish in the sky gave me goosbumps)
"There's a starfish/ Up there in the sky
I don't want to see it/ 'cause it wants to eat my mind…"
Inside is a ladder leading to a central "interface" chamber,
I don't think the word 'interface' assist this sentence at all and, in fact, confused me for a moment because I was unsure what sort of paraphrasing was going on.
SCP-4558's purpose is unknown, but extensive Foundation investigations indicate that it was originally designed by members of the Church of Maxwellism.
I don't think this comma here is necessary…
Planning for a similar structure has been found in archived Maxwellist forums and chat logs in the early 1990s
This sentence really confused me for a while and I think it's because the word 'planning' in here means 'the act of plans occurring' or something similar. It's really quite strange and doesn't add anything to the prose here. For example, 'plans for a similar structure were found in archived Maxwellist forums' would be a much more familiar phrasing and would reduce the reader's need to pause instead of taking in the story wholesale.
include users with the handles "onewan1", apparently the project lead in these early stages; "holy_fibr3", believed to be the project's lead programmer; and "tbgeuse", who was tasked with formulating "defence mechanisms"
While a minor quibble could be had about having quotations used for direct quoting as well as for specific naming (it's inconsistent and a reader could possible see 'defense mechanisms' as a username which makes no sense here), I'm willing to commend the use of semicolons. I do love that.
and saw that she was worthy");
Are you missing a period here or purposefully implying that there was a portion of sentence cut off? If it's the latter, perhaps ending the phrase with a preposition like 'of' or 'in' will make it clear.
Tensorflow (compiled for GPU)
There's a 1.0 and 2.0 now, so you may want to fix that ambiguity.
By the way, I found the terminal stuff to be too slow for my reading, so I often just waited for the whole thing to load.
Jones: But what kind of world is this?
Researcher Ishigura: It's better than none.
Missed an empty line here.
to my own.Do you have a
Missed spacing?
before.You saw that they were at peace
Another missed spacing?
Overall, I think this is an excellent investigation into interactive fiction. The terminal is executed well and the overall plot is compelling.
However, I continually found awkward phrases, sentences, and formatting errors throughout the piece which got in the way of my enjoyment.
Also, I didn't find Ishigura's character transformation particularly meaningful or compelling. Either there's a story I'm missing, but this guy essentially decides that it'd be gucci to destroy civilization as we know it because a talking terminal told him it was god and that it wanted him to be its prophet, ignoring all of its followers that built it because Ishigura's special in some way? It could've been a liar. It could've intended to eat him all along. So on and so forth. It's quite possible I missed the penultimate moment where Ishigura made that turn into 'evil', but I really don't see the justification.
But. I think this is a compelling piece of fiction. Make no doubt about this.
EDIT: Also, I cannot for the life of me believe that a level 4 anyone is allowed to connect a secure device to off-network, for the record. Company policy would ordinarily make this impossible and unaccepted, as everything is extremely locked down. For the record, I work at a bank and I can't even get an adblocking extension on my browser- its literally against policy.
When I worked at a military facility, there was no way I was getting any permission for anything- in fact, I couldn't even move files from one network to another and had to get someone else to come over with their own credentials to do it for me.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
this guy essentially decides that it'd be gucci to destroy civilization as we know it because a talking terminal told him it was god
It ate Jones, it ate Gorou. It says that he made a choice, but he didn't. It "promises" to only eat unbelievers but it it has no intention to keep that promise. The purple txt is telling you he made a choice, it might even be telling itself that it let Gorou make a choice, but it's lies.
That Gorou can access some part of the network is not beyond the suspension of disbelief for me. If the following claim is that it infects and completely overwhelms scpnet, yeah, that's jumping the shark. It might get a terminal, maybe a slice of the network before Maria Jones slaps it back into oblivion. But from Gorou, or Kevin's perspective, before they're deleted, it probably seems like god.
So, what is this, some kind of virus like Skynet and Stephen King's Cell mixed together?
This is definitely neat and gives me a few different concepts to think about.
A. The Time Loop
When Igashi's team goes into a new loop, they don't realize it until exposed to WAN or Jones. Conceptually, this gives me the idea that they've transitioned into a digital world upon entry into the bunker, and that the structure was meant to contain WAN and prevent it from causing chaos upon the world in a breach.
B. Observers
Jones and WAN definitely remind me of two specific characters. In the game Warframe, a digital entity known as Cephalon Suda works to observe, curious about all, and tries to bring people in to her cause. Jones, likewise, brings people in and enlightens them to the cause the Church is working towards. Similarly, WAN is reminiscent of Cephalon Simaris, constantly wanting to assimilate others into it's perfect, digital world.
C. The Messiah
The Questionable part of this comes from Igashi, in that Igashi is just a regular Foundation researcher who, by the look of things, has been amnesticized multiple times. Igashi understands that the horrors of the Foundation are a required sacrifice to better humanity. However WAN and Jones slowly convince Igashi that those necessary horrors aren't required. Something feels off, whether it being that Igashi is anomalously linked to WAN or in that WAN has a charismatic, unavoidable memetic effect.
I wish my own code was as well documented as this is. :p
BTW, little typo in the first terminal section: "…a path where the your waking hours…"
Incredibly fitting MTF name. Good choice.
Overall I like the article, and its definitely getting a +1, but I felt like the ending was a little much. I can see the reasoning behind it, but I don't really care for articles that do things as drastic as killing a good chunk of the Foundation. IDK, don't listen to me, I have no idea what I'm saying lmao.
