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Discovered and brought to Site-19 in 2007. Although the origin of the item remains unknown. The item seems to be a humanoid 1.9 meters tall and is one of the Third-Reich armies. SCP-4215 animate and is extremely hostile. The object must be fed like an average human and is to be contained in an average size of a soldier's dorm about 9x9 meters wide. Personnel assigned to enter the containment must not be a German or a Russian, -26 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This is incredibly tasteless. Not to sound rude but if you can't see what is wrong with this then In my opinion you're part of the problem.
took the liberty of adding a rating module since this was missing one. Hope that's okay since I'm not a staff member.
Aside from the obviously touchy subject matter as Amelia pointed out, what even is this SCP exactly? Just a nazi? It says it's an entire army:
and is one of the Third-Reich armies.
but then you say it's just one guy.
Also, how does it make a "Fourth-Reich" and how does the Foundation know this? Just hallucinating a person (how does that make sense by the way? Does it just create the illusion of a person or does it make a person hallucinate?) doesn't take over the world.
I would recommend dropping this idea all together, and getting critique through the Forums or IRC chat.
Scp 4983 - The Lonley God, [SCP-4983 is a 2.15 meter tall caucasian male with white hair in a short cut with a horn like arch above the ears, a blue eye with the other being black with a small red pentagram as the irise, and a weight of 150 lb. SCP-4983’s body is near identical to a normal human but with a few additions. SCP-4983 has a 1.5 meter long tail coming out of the tailbone resembling a stereotypical demon tail that is used for ballance, -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Based on the fact that you accidentally made some dialogue into links, I have to assume you wrote this directly into the text box. Given that the sandbox is advertised extensively throughout the guide hub (as well as other writing conventions to avoid which are also present in your article), just read through the guides. Come back and try again afterwards.
I do like the idea of a sin-sensing entity being used in medieval trials, by the way. Maybe a twist where they actually can't sense wrongdoing at all, and very just hungry?
SCP-4317 is an ornately carved infant skull plated with pyrite. SCP-4317 will move its lower jaw in sync to anyone who spoke in its room. If said entity stays in SCP-4317's "line of sight" for more than a few minutes, it will also begin to mimic their voice perfectly. If SCP-4317 comes within 1 meter of any living creature, SCP-4317's lower jaw will clatter violently and begin to excrete a deep red liquid out of its mouth and eye sockets, -13 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
There may be a solid idea in here, but it's hard to tell as this draft is kind of sloppy. Weird word choice in a lot of places, odd details, and it seems like info is outright missing (I think the idea is the slime re-animates corpses, but I can't see anywhere it actually says that). This draft should've gotten more feedback.
-1
This one is so close to being good, but it's not polished enough in its current state. I think if you took this to the forums or the IRC chat before uploading it you could make it into a pretty good SCP.
It could be good, but there are misuses of clinical tone, and I'm not entirely sure what the red ooze actually does to a corpse.
scp-classified-j, duplicate of SCP-7166-J, summarily deleted with Taffeta witnessing.
SCP-4547 is a humanoid entity taking the shape of a child around the age of 12-13. It wears black-rimmed square glasses and has a hairstyle resembling a mullet, along with a black sweatshirt and pants. Its appearance never changes over time, and the clothing is permanently stuck to the body of the SCP. The SCP releases high-frequency screeches that become deeper the more aggravated it becomes, which can be used to detect if it is going to attempt to breach or not. These aren't the most unusual parts of the SCP.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Just adding SCP-682 doesn't make your SCP better. In most cases, it just makes it worse. If you are going to attempt a cross-link, do it with much more obscure articles that fit in the context of your SCP.
20% of this article is describing the physical attributes of this thing.
That's 15% more than it should have been.
Generic, forgettable, no story.
the containment procedures here are an absolute gem that are surprisingly fun and have some very interesting ideas that, unfortunately, the rest of the skip just doesn't live up to.
the spinning doesn't seem purposeful enough to justify the complexity of maintaining, and the description doesn't really convey the kind of, youthfulness that threatening the skip with multiple people invokes.
my advice would be to maybe lean towards this not being humanoid; and instead a child in a more abstract sense, perhaps as some kind of ghost/liquid form where the spinning means centripetal forces prevent it maintaining it's shape, and then really exploring through interviews perhaps what living as a ghost/liquid child is like for the skip, and trying to convey in it a sense of child-like wonder?
there's definitely gonna be a bunch of other ways to make the use of the containment procedures seem more meaningful, and i really hope you manage to come up with something that succeeds here, perhaps with the help of the ideas and brainstorming forum or the SCP IRC chat
SCP-4211 appears to be a females wood and metal ring with a small cut diamond set in a traditional style akin to proposal rings made in the late 1800's. Found in Victorian era ruins called ████ in southeast Europe by agent ████. Rumors among locals speak of SCP-4211 as the last remains of an old nobles fortune. When questioned none were able to provide and solid date, records of the area show the lands belonging to the ██████ government since the 70s no further records found. Upon first examination SCP-4211 is a simple polished metal design.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
i think the big problem with this article is that right as something interesting looks like it's about to happen, it ends. the idea of the ring isn't inherently bad, but it feels more suited to being an anomalous item than a full skip right up until the point where you bring up the ghostly crying woman and then, it just ends.
while somewhat outdated as a resource, Dr. Mackenzie's Common SCP Pitfalls should provide some insight into why this doesn't quite work as is (specifically, it feels a little too close to just being a magic item; and it lacks a narrative). in terms of improving this, probably some kinda exploration of the psychological effects of the ring in the form of experiment logs1, or perhaps some kind of interview between someone wearing the ring and the crying woman to like, elaborate on her story.
I'm all for more trans inclusivity in fiction, but maybe treating us like drug addicts to an anomalous item is in poor taste, somewhat?
We also already have a gender switcher, SCP-113.
SCP-4156 is a pair of beings, individual description follows.
Scp-4156a is a slim, approximately teenage girl, with pale skin and dark eyes with dark hair, often tied behind her head in a pony tail. She is always silent when alone with 4156b, aside for soft, windlike exhalations. When there is a person in proximity to them, she will always walk up to them in a suggestive manner and begin whispering to the person who enters the area. The person, if they survive the encounter, will almost always refuse to repeat what she whispered to them. Any who attempt to will immediately commit suicide in the most accessible manner, whether it be snapping or slitting their own throat, or with any reachable weapons.
Scp-4156b is a boy, around the same age as 4156a.
Deleted at -14 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Welcome! It's great to see new users getting involved and contributing, but make sure you take the time to first get feedback on your idea in the Ideas and Brainstorming Forum, then, once it's been greenlit, draft on the Sandbox and get feedback on your draft on the Draft Forum. This is nowhere near ready for the mainlist in its current state.
The grammar is entirely wacky as a whole, there's no overall substance to the article, and the characters aren't interesting
Articles must have an overall storyline in them, hidden in between the lines. I was bored at this from the beginning, and everyone else who has read this will agree. All it is is a guy and a gal who happen to be obsessed with one another that have superpowers or something. There is also the whole 'bah, a person makes another person kill themselves', which is one of the biggest things that get frowned upon in the community.
Do what DrSevere says and go check out the forums.
Hope these tips will make it better. :)
Currently held in Site-█. Captured in 2009. SCP-4229 appears as a normal horse, its body is completely made out of slime. It doesn't have any genitals. From the outside the slime isn't noticable. It looks like an ordinary, brown haired horse.
After researching SCP-4229, Dr. Will Benson came to the conclusion the entity was originally formed inside an unknown liquid. Looking inside the entity has proven the scientists it used to be a normal horse.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Hi author. While I think your idea is neat (but needs to be fleshed out more), I think that a larger area of growth could be clinical tone. A couple examples:
A flamethrower must be ready to be fired when opening SCP-4229's cell.
could be formatted as:
SCP-4229's containment cell is not to be opened without two security personnel, armed with M1A1 flamethrowers and at least 4 liters of fuel. In the event that SCP-4229 attempts to breach containment, the anomaly is to be subdued with sustained flames until it returns to its containment cell.
The idea is that you want to provide clear instructions for how to recontain the anomaly. What am I getting ready for with the flamethrowers? Am I using them as soon as it opens, or just when it attempts to breach? And so on.
Another one:
Physical contact is not allowed without permission.
could be something like:
Personnel are prohibited from making physical contact with SCP-4229.
Hope this helps if you decide to rewrite, or delete/resubmit, or even just on your next article!
You actually had me moderately interested with the conprocs. Like, you see a nice horsey but it's being threatened with flamethrowers? Instant attention grabber.
After that, though, the article kind of falls apart. I can tell you used conventions from Series I that are generally not accepted anymore, such as:
That being said, the page still contains typos at a rate of about once per sentence, and the addendum leaves a lot to be desired in the dialogue, beyond being useless as a narrative tool.
Suggestions:
SCP 4168 is wearing a Soviet army uniform from 1953 with the serial number 84429. The Russian military has no record of SCP 4168 in the Soviet armed forces. SCP 4168 face appears to be rotting with his eyes lacking pigment and enlarged. SCP 4168 will actively hunt humans and when SCP 4168 is within 20 meters it will begin to laugh. When SCP 4168 is in reaching distance SCP 4168 will touching the person SCP 4168 will snap its fingers killing the person within 30 seconds. After the victim has died SCP 4168 will move to the next closest and repeat what it had done to the previous victim. Scp XXXX does not require food nor water to survive. SCP 4168 does not respond to any form of stimulus and does not react at all. pain or damage with any damage inflicted on SCP 4168 regenerating within a period of 24 hours.to fire has the effect of slowing SCP XXXX down tremendously with enough exposure to fire will cause SCP XXXX to become incapacitated for a period of 4 hours. Between the hours of 11:00 pm and 6:00 am SCP 4168 will appear to enter a sleep stage. In which it becomes docile and as of now there is no possible way to wake SCP 4168 from its sleep stage.
Deleted at -18 and three votes.
Borrasca I and II, disgusting plagiarism each, summarily deleted with Stormbreath witnessing.
SCP-4553 is a white metal lunch box with the words “Human Organ for Transplant” in whatever language the subject who views it speaks printed on the top in red. Every day a food item will appear inside the box with different effects. When consumed, [REDACTED] takes place inside of the subject, causing something to happen. For example, when the apple is consumed the subject will be put in an endless slumber. These food objects are considered SCP-4553-1, SCP-4553-2 continuing with each different food item. Each time the lunch box is damaged, then thrown it will explode. The explosion intensity depends on the damage and how hard it is thrown. SCP-4553 has the ability to repair itself every week, after the instance of repair there is tiny white metal shards around as if it had “shed.”
Deleted at -12 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I think the basic concept of a lunchbox that gives infinite tainted food is workable. I thin you went very wrong by focusing on the explosions that were caused due to it being thrown. There's basically nothing to do with this concept, or rather you did nothing with it except use it as way to create an interesting containment scenario. I think you should rework the idea with focus on an anomalous effect that you can work with. Possibly explore putting the lunch box in a third-world starvation ridden country, and explore the effects of it more there. I could see an interesting moral dilemma coming from a scip that gives infinite food that comes with a risk to people that are starving. Also, you could explore the effects over that would happen from the general population eating the food, which could actually birth a narrative for the SCP.
SCP-7166-J
All data of SCP-████ is so [CLASSIFIED] that its █████ ███████ ████ is ██████ ██████ █████████ ██ and therefore shall ██████ ████ █████ ███████ ███ ███ ██ ██████ ███ █ ████ ███████ ███ [REDACTED] ██ ████ ███████ ██ ███ █ ██ ██ ██████.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
To expand upon what Grefties has said;
This SCP doesn't really have a "joke"; essentially, it's a completely redacted SCP, which does reek of minimal effort. Then, out of nowhere, all of the Foundation's data is deleted. This isn't funny either, because there's no buildup to suggest this will happen.
Next time, you should definitely run your SCPs through the critiquing process before publishing another, even if it is a joke.
SCP-4925 appears to be a doctor that has acquired the title of "Merchant of Death" from the facility Specimennel as he trades a life with a cure to a disease. After numerous tests, it appears that the specimen follows a sort of equilibrium. He will request a healthy subject that matches the species of the Specimen requiring the cure, -19 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Forgive my bluntness, but: isn't this just a slightly different SCP-049?
Also, why does the Foundation need a 9-meter tall room to contain this guy in? Why do the characters speak in such a stilted manner? Why does the anomaly in containment have apparent precognition? Why is so much interview time spent discussing what the anomaly's real name is? Why does the Interviewer stop the interview when the anomaly says it needs to stop?
I'm sorry, but this article is far too contrived for my liking. Have you at the very least had your article's idea greenlighted in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum? This website has a large team of volunteers dedicated to helping users with articles, and they can help you polish up the base concept, which will only bolster any drafting you do.
Kept waiting for the interviewer to say "That is a shoe" and he never did. I was a little disappointed.
SCP-4292 is a YouTube video uploaded by the Epic Rap Battles of History channel, the video is unlisted with only one known copy of the link in existence. The video is 5:02 minutes long with 19 views, four of which are from Dr. █████████, head of research for SCP-4292. Fifteen of the views come from several D-Class personnel used to test the effects of SCP-4292. (See Addendum 4292.1), -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I like the idea you were going for. With a bit of cleaning up i think this wouldn't be a bad entry. The last line really bugs me though.
This needs a lot of work, did you post you concept here Ideas and brainstorming forum ? Or get it critted at all? Cold-posts like this don't last very long.
Scp 4317 is a child who is approximately 1.35 meters in height and is 32kg in weight. Anyone who is exposed to scp 4317 for several seconds will start having open wounds.The damages can range anywhere from a stroke to a heart attack. How scp 4317 is discovered or how it was transported in site-19 is all unknown. Scp 4317's effects are not operative to non-humans such as scp 682. Scp 4317, improper self delete and unfinished work, cleared by me at -3 with uraniumempire witnessing.
SCP-4168 is a autonomous suit made of titanium. SCP-4168 calls itself a protector. SCP-4168 transforms shape to adapt to any situation. SCP-4168 morphs into a computer and is able to copy and drain files from any computer. SCP-4168 can speak and project holograms from the camera on the top of the computer. If it drains a file it will read the file using word to speech. SCP-4168 has 2 modes passive and aggressive, summarily deleted at -4 for being spam/trolling from a ban-evading user.
Concrete
"What is this thing?", I said
Keep your eyes on the SCP
"Get us out of here!"
No response, I wish I could kill who ever put us here. In this chamber stands two other men, in the same outfit as me.
Please approach SCP-173
"Let me go back to my family, I don't want to get killed!", said the man.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
You can't take the base concept of SCP-173, do nothing to the said concept, and expect upvotes. Besides, SCPs such as 173 and 682 normally cause people to downvote prematurely, no matter the quality. As such, please try to come up with an original concept, and run it by some people before posting said concept.
I am so tired of new authors taking the exact same situation with SCP-173 and thinking it'll make a unique tale. It doesn't. We've seen it ten times before, all done better.
Aside from a myraid of grammar errors, and lack of proper formatting, (Tales need to be formatted too!) this just feels insignifigant and poorly done. There is no story, a rather needed part of a short story. All there is two fellows being killed by 173. 173 is so overused at this point, that you need to add a lot to the table to make it interesting.
Sorry if I came off as rude, there is always next time!
