(account deleted) 27 May 2019 06:41
Special thanks to loddite,
RockTeethMothEyes,
LilyFlower and GenericSkipper does not match any existing user name.
SCP 재단 한국어 위키의 대화방 부관리자입니다.
SCP-4194 / Discussion
Forum
» Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions
» SCP-4194
This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4194.
(account deleted) 27 May 2019 06:41
An interesting concept that I want to upvote, but the ending doesn't really tie anything together - it just makes the whole thing seem like it's building to something that isn't there. Novote for now.
Well, I intended this SCP as an open ending. What's the water stuff doing alongside with birds and humanity? I suggest making your canon, who knows it'll be a great sequel?
Edited it!
SCP 재단 한국어 위키의 대화방 부관리자입니다.
Read it over, and it's still not there. The water was a big confusion, but this version still has a lot of unhelpful ambiguity. The strangely selective censoring of "p███o██l b██t" seems like it's trying to evoke something that just isn't there, and while I can see the Foundation being scared of a Dominance Shift event, the idea of them doing something as rash as altering the base concept of humanity doesn't sit with me.
Also, if you're trying to imply that 4194 are later versions of this unknown SCP that've been neutered by making them unable to perceive humans, then that's pretty cool - but why present it as if they're different entities, when the Foundation would either know the connection or not have this documentation in the first place?
I liked the idea when it was presented, but open-ended stuff like this turns me off. Open endings work when there is a sufficient amount of information that allows the reader to draw their own conclusions as to why something is there. Here, there is no sufficient information for "too much water". The information is either intentionally hidden or non-existent.
I like the idea of a forgotten Foundation intervention to keep humanity safe, only to create another anomaly out of it. There's a very solid premise there and, with just a touch of hidden information, could be great. However, I think this goes overboard, falling flat after all of the build up.
Downvote.
I'm with the others in my dislike of open ended stuff. Barring a scant few exceptions, it tends to feel like the author just couldn't figure out a good ending and left it to the audience out of laziness. That said, now that you've modified it so it has a conclusive ending, the whole thing is absolutely excellent and highly deserving of a +1.
Neutral vote. I don’t think that leaving things open-ended is the problem here. The ending is unsatisfying. You got my attention with pigeons that can’t perceive humanity, the escalation that there is/was something sinister going on is good but the line “god help our ideas” is a cheesy one to go out on.
I think the way to really bring out this concept’s full potential might be to add some documentation, or change the existing ones, to logs which show the threat these can pose. You don’t even have to add more information than is present here, just present it differently. My initial thoughts are to do some logs set in WW1, what with the carrier pigeon motif and all.
Mac, don’t trust the birds. Everything we tie to them lets ‘em learn a little more. I didn’t think I could imagine someone worse than the creeping barrage, poison gas or trench rot.
But I had that dream again last night Mac. I went over the top and there were birds. They blotted out the sky. Millions of them. Enough wingbeating to drown out the shelling.
then they looked down, and I swear to god, right before I wake up, I see it in their eyes
They recognized me.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Pretty much that. It is almost there , already, a good concept overall, and the "current" document is on the spot, describes it without more fuss than it should get and keeps my attention by giving all the info without overstaying.
The second document is lacking. You edited this to correct the previous lack of closure, but the editing itself shows, and the document still doesn't get to the point properly.
On top of Roget's advise I would suggest to review the "old" document just to give it the same finishing you gave to the first. And, of course, get ridden of the last line, maybe even the second-to-last paragraph.
IK-Class End of Civilization scenario is explored in SCP-1238 I believe, so IK simply doesn't work.
There are no rules or a canon for how that stuff is called. IK can be used one way in one article and another way in another one.
wow, this is a cool story. I honestly was not expecting the corrupted file and got a joke scp vibe until the keter document came up. well made
Not feeling the last message. It has too many unnecessary redactions and ends in a rather cheesy way that just feels pointless considering what is actually going on. It's like the 'god help us all' ending which just feels wrong at times. That being said, I really like the basis idea of this one; would love to see it rewritten and have a better execution.
-1
/forum/t-11969911/scp-4194#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
