SCP-2181 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2181.

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TL333s 09 May 2015 20:23

Imagine my surprise when I found this little guy more or less complete on my hard drive! Thanks to SoundChaser, themanofum, and Decibelle for feedback. (Also, "a way" is intentional, please no one change it.)

Image credits: Taken from this page, licensed under Creative Commons.

Last edited on 10 May 2015 21:21 by TL333s Show more

Scorpion451 09 May 2015 21:28

Despite the pupil being six times larger than normal, the irises are of standard width.

I'm confused as to how that works. (The pupil being the hole encompassed by the muscle ring of the iris, you can't increase the diameter of one without increasing the diameter of the other.)

Otherwise this is weird enough to catch my interest and my upvote.

TL333s 09 May 2015 21:32

It's not the same overall size, just the same width. So it'll be disproportionately thin, in comparison.

Scorpion451 09 May 2015 21:48

Ah, I get what you're going for now. Might note something about this rendering the iris unable to constrict fully or something. That would also make this guy extremely light sensitive, as well, like having your eyes permanently dilated.

Mulciber 09 May 2015 22:35

I get the distinct impression I'm missing something.

On the surface, it's a cogent, fairly predictable alien/interdimensional runaway story. I read all the way through waiting for an "a-ha!" turn or revelation, but if it's there, it passed me by.

Neutral vote.

Agent MacLeod 09 May 2015 23:22

I liked it. I honestly don't know why it's currently in the negatives.

This raises questions in a good way, and raises them without shoving the reader's nose in them. Overall, this is pretty damn good.

RJB_R 09 May 2015 23:29

I would upvote were it not for the bad scare quotes in the addendum.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

Last edited on 10 May 2015 05:53 by RJB_R Show more

TyGently 10 May 2015 02:36

SCP-2181 was contained on March 1, 1976, when it exited Site-81's third floor men's lavatory

Shouldn't that be "entered", not exited? Also, maybe comment on how its appearance has or hasn't changed since recovery?

TL333s 10 May 2015 11:34

No, it walked out of the door when it hadn't been in the lavatory in the first place. Anomalies! As for your second question, "SCP-2181 has not aged visibly while in containment"?

Supine 10 May 2015 03:15

Its behavior when left alone is considered normal for an introverted seven year old child.

I might be wrong, but I don't think that "introverted" is really a term that would be used in a scientific context. I think this could be left out and you'd be better off for it.

Bones were inscribed with a series of lines that, when transcribed as binary code, translate as follows:

Binary like ASCII? As interpreted by computers, binary isn't really compatible with those occult elements (it's a really specific and clumsy way to do code for anything but computer use). Morse code would probably work, and I think it'd fit better in the theme.

HotCocoaNerd 10 May 2015 03:23

Not, the author or staff, just strolling through.

I might be wrong, but I don't think that "introverted" is really a term that would be used in a scientific context. I think this could be left out and you'd be better off for it.

As far as I'm aware, introverted is a valid term, and makes sense in this context.

Binary like ASCII? As interpreted by computers, binary isn't really compatible with those occult elements (it's a really specific and clumsy way to do code for anything but computer use). Morse code would probably work, and I think it'd fit better in the theme.

Why would Morse be better? After all, both are just encoded languages utilizing a set of two values. (1/0 and dot/dash respectively). And if we're dealing with some kind of alien or extra-dimensional, who is more advanced than us, it actually makes sense in my mind that they would use one of the most advanced forms of communication we have, computer code.

(account deleted) 10 May 2015 04:59

Not bad. +1.

Conquest 10 May 2015 17:57

and SCP-2181 suffers from dry eyes.

This doesn't seem like a clinical term, so iffy on the tone of this chunk.

Personnel mobilized outside containment cell report doorway is obscured by view of deep space;

What do you mean by deep space? Is there just a bit of vacuum sitting in the middle of the doorway? Or is it a portal to a random bit of deep space? Or is there some picture just waving around in front of them?

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[-End post]

TL333s 10 May 2015 20:08

I can't really find a concise way of explaining what happened to the door, so I'm just leaving it. The detail is meant to add some atmosphere, but I think if I add any more, it'll slow down the log. EDIT: I added an image instead! Thank you for pointing out the dry eyes thing, however, I found a name for it!

Last edited on 10 May 2015 21:22 by TL333s Show more

TL333s 10 May 2015 20:07

I've tightened a couple things, changed a couple things, and put in one major change that should hopefully make this better.

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