Author post
I hope you enjoy this trespassing notice.
Been on a nice fat writer's block for almost a month now and this is what the dam broke with, for better or worse. I hope you enjoy this, I had fun writing it.
SCP-4305 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4305.
I wasn't sold on the concept until I got to the entity breaking full-tilt into a maximum-security facility to lecture about trespassing, which is hilarious. You did a great job with the dialogue. It's funny while still pretty believable (like the D-class getting reprimanded for joking around). I think you might have a minor typo here:
a loud banging noise can is recorded
One thing I'm wondering about is the significance of the fluids you chose, if there is any. Why saliva?
That is a typo! Thank you for giving me a chance to remediate. The choice of the fluids is rather esoteric and admittedly not very important other than the implication, literally a figuratively, that there is something else going on here beneath the surface of this SCP.
Friend, you've a got a few formatting issues, namely some broken italics in the addendums.
Started reading this expecting this to be yet another boring "wacky funny" SCP, but the radical 180 in tone this did surprised me and made me upvote.
Great skip. Although, the use of the words 'the anomaly', when instead it could be replaced by SCP-4305 is slightly irritating.
Je suis devenu mort
Great concept and execution. That said, the diction is a bit iffy, especially in the containment procedures.
Hey this scip needs more attention, it's real nice. I'd say my upvote was earned when it's shown the guy doesn't want to just chase you off the premises, but will literally follow you anywhere at slightly above walking pace to lecture you on trespassing. On that note, the incident log is great. I can only imagine all the guards being so confounded and worried as they fire shot after shot into this guy and he keeps strolling along, prying open security doors with an umbrella. On top of that, there's some nice mystery fleshed out over several addenda, really wondering what might be going on there, although not as much is suggested as I would've liked. Still good though.
The Liverpudlian bloke I especially like. Don't know what he is, but I love the way he speaks. He/It only cares about you tresspassing, and damn you sir for not heeding the signs. I wonder if he's really a person, or just a protection measure of some kind; the final log indicates some kind of intelligence. In fact, I'd like to see more test logs where they literally just try to talk to the guy and ask him things, point out there's no tresspassing sign, reason stuff out, see if that's possible. Or if multiple people go in at once, with someone to distract him. I wonder what he'd do if you got in a helicopter, though maybe that's pushing it.
I got a real kick out of this entry. For one thing, I just drove through Great Basin last spring and can immediately visualize the desolate region. Then I imagine some loony anomaly by an abandoned pool and it comes together nicely. :-)
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
