SCP-4184 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4184.

Sonata - In Midnight

Popsioak 10 May 2019 02:55

The night is long
My will is strong
The night is cold
But I grow old.
The night is dark,
My mind is stark.
The night is done.
I am gone.

I'll keep this brief. This is a very personal skip for me, and I hope you guys enjoy.

This skip was intended to voice a problem I had. The inability to properly voice how I felt about certain people's passings, and how i wish it could've gone. Each log here is crafted to attempt to be as close to a family member as possible.
Music has been something to always make me feel things, and the idea of music that could open a grieving person's shell made me wish I had something like it in my life.

Thanks to Kreiner, Rura, UncannyClown, Brew, FloppyPhoenix, KnightAlaska, Nico, and Laneous for lookin at it.

Image Creds

Last edited on 12 May 2019 00:09 by Popsioak Show more

Re: Sonata - In Midnight

Popsioak 10 May 2019 16:10

Damn you ellie

Last edited on 12 May 2019 00:09 by Popsioak Show more

Lt Flops 10 May 2019 03:01

I like the way each person's emotions and personalities are shown through the notes they write. Not just the font used in each note (which I'll admit is a rather nice touch!), but the expression too. I'm not a big fan of the compulsion affect involved but I understand why it's needed to tell the story. Nice improvement from the drafting stages, +1 for me

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http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/floppyphoenix

Last edited on 10 May 2019 03:03 by Lt Flops Show more

RuraScarlet 10 May 2019 03:04

Updooted!!

I really liked the concept from the very first idea, and now that it's finished, I'm so happy it turned out this good! ♡

Sergeimosin 10 May 2019 09:17

Question: how does the SCP in question affect someone who is unaware of the loss of their relative?

Popsioak 10 May 2019 16:08

It wouldn't. Hence the Foundation attempting to not let JR Swalls know of his sister's passing, so his testing wouldn't be inhibited.

cybersqyd 10 May 2019 10:48

I like this but also i feel like the focus of SCP-4184 being "the booklet the music is written in" instead of the song itself feels weird? Like it seems to me that it's the actual piece of music that has the anomalous effect and not the booklet; which means that a mention of either researchers or a foundation AI looking out for other instances in the containment section could be cool. If you're wanting to go down the route of it being a thing dependent on the booklet, it might be worth adding some testing procedures indicating that e.g, there's a pianist unfamiliar with the piece playing it straight from the booklet?

It might also be interesting to play around with e.g, does it work on recordings of the song? Does it have to be played live? what about parts of the song or if the song is distorted? It's not exactly clear from the logs how the music is played which feels needlessly imprecise to me.

The research logs feel,,,excessive to me? They add a lot of emotional impact to the SCP sure, but from a research perspective, it's not exactly clear why the testing was carried out or what the foundation hoped to achieve from it?

cybersqyd 10 May 2019 12:47

y'know i've thought about this more and i think the big flaw to me is that it doesn't feel anomalous enough? it doesn't really do things that are that weird or interesting, it's just, music which makes you sad about a comparatively recent loss

it's, not badly written and it's enjoyable to read but it feels,,,wrong as an SCP?

RockTeethMothEyes 10 May 2019 11:18

This was a tough vote for me for a few reasons.

I enjoy the writing here. It's very expressive, the way you detail everyone's manner of speech, their composure, and how driven by the circumstances of their unique loss. It's very touching at times. Knowing what its like to lose someone that has always been in your life, I can resonate with some of these people. It's good.

However, it's mostly fluff. I only feel this connection because I understand the pain in the way they write it out, but it's because of the way they write it out that I can't truly empathize with them. They aren't real. No one talks like this, not even in severe mental degradation. No one just spouts about their tragic loss when locked in a room for 15 minutes. I think this could have been improved upon if there wasn't so much being written or said by the characters. Less is more.

In short, I guess what I'm saying is that I downvoted because the compulsion didn't make these people real.

Last edited on 10 May 2019 11:19 by RockTeethMothEyes Show more

KnightAlaska 10 May 2019 21:20

I'm glad I could help this SCiP. I liked it when I first read it and with all the crit it really turned into something fantastic. I can't wait to see more writing from you in the future.

+1