SCP-4465 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4465.

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Author Post

DarkStuff 09 May 2019 17:33

No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

— No Man is an Island, by John Donne

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Nearing my third and fourth +200s (two articles at +189), I figured that I could handle a total flop if it happened. This might be a total flop. But I'm willing to take that risk. I wanted to challenge myself, so I gave myself two goals:

• Post within an hour after making the first draft.
• Make it the shortest mainlist SCP wordcount on the site (barring SCP-2521, that's cheating).

Hopefully this has worked.

Spoilers

It's a gun that kills loved ones of the target shot.

Last edited on 19 May 2019 15:12 by DarkStuff Show more

Re: RESERVED

(account deleted) 09 May 2019 17:35

To the Author:

How is this anomalous?

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You were expecting a forum signature, weren't you?

Re: RESERVED

Rigen 09 May 2019 17:40

I mean, how is this not anomalous?

The bullets were found 3000 kilometers away (that's 1800 miles) from the gun.

Edit: right, that's not the anomalous part. Unless the roommate, the family, and the dog all decided to use the same gun for suicide at the same time frame, anomaly's the only thing to blame.

Last edited on 09 May 2019 17:44 by Rigen Show more

Re: 2521

rattles 09 May 2019 17:53

Well, now. “Reading” 2521 involves more scrolling than reading this SCP. Rather, 2521 has a lower word count than this SCP.

Re: Author Post

(account deleted) 18 May 2019 16:03

It's a gun that kills loved ones of the target shot.

If it's impossible to understand the object by reading the article and related documents, without any "author spoilers" — I doubt that the idea is one of the best.

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Moon Prism Power Make-Up!

Re: Author Post

Lamentte 18 May 2019 16:17

Who said it's impossible? You have all the clues for you there in the article.

Re: Author Post

DarkStuff 18 May 2019 17:07

The spoilers are by no means the only way to come to this conclusion. The spoilers are only here for those who didn't get it — it's not uncommon practice on the site.

Re: Author Post

robosllim 29 May 2019 21:11

The message came across clearly to me. Obviously, being as short as it is it'll come across vague to some people, but I think the author did a great job. Definitely upvote.

TheMightyMcB 09 May 2019 17:35

This is devilishly subtle in a way I haven't seen since Salsa Hammer. Easy +1.

Khaim 13 May 2019 23:19

… How is Salsa Hammer subtle?

TheMightyMcB 13 May 2019 23:50

How is Salsa Hammer not subtle? That article is loaded with fridge logic that it seems you missed on your first read. Yeah sure, it's just a straightforward article about a hammer that turns stuff into salsa, until you realize:

+ Spoiler for Salsa Hammer

They beat some guy in the head with the hammer, let him squirm around headless, and then ate his fucking salsa brains, killing him 30 minutes after they were eaten.

Weryllium 14 May 2019 04:17

I think Khaim is implying that the spoilered section isn't subtle at all. I'd agree, but then I'm a little biased.

TheMightyMcB 14 May 2019 10:14

Honestly, I likened these articles to one another because I read them in nearly the same way. I read them and got the gist, realized that there must be more to the article than what I was gleaning from it, and then I reread them and got the true implications.

I guess from the author's perspective, salsa hammer might be beating the reader over the head (heh) with its implications, but I (amongst many others) didn't read it that way at first.

Gekkoguy 09 May 2019 17:38

Testing has been delayed indefinitely due to ethical qualms.

This is probably my current favorite line in all of scp. The piece works wonderfully, but this is the cherry on top.

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PM about tabletop wargames

Last edited on 09 May 2019 17:38 by Gekkoguy Show more

in all of scp

Mal0gen 19 Dec 2022 16:50

ah yes, in all of Special Containment Procedures.

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- Mal0gen, the skullgen in your phone.

stormbreath 09 May 2019 17:41

No voting, because while the narrative is new and fresh, the implied base anomaly seems near identical or at least very similar to SCP-2411, except it affects families/associates rather than businesses.

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can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day

Last edited on 09 May 2019 17:43 by stormbreath Show more

DarkStuff 09 May 2019 17:45

Was completely unaware of that skip. Oh well. We'll see if this stands out enough.

lavenderbloodstains 09 May 2019 17:46

while very short, it does evoke the sense that there is a bigger story. its a very simple anomaly and some may argue it should be classified as an anomalous item rather than a scp, but i think it does its job and fulfills the requirements of a good scp well enough

take my +1

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Despite all my rage… I am still a bacteriophage.

Lamentte 09 May 2019 17:52

This is exactly why I fucking love short SCPs, I go through and read everything 40 times and then have this big ohhhh shit moment that drives me to upvote it. This really shows what you can do with a short word count.

Crashington 09 May 2019 18:09

oof ouch oof my brain

T Rutherford 09 May 2019 18:10

Really liked it. Definitely a sneakier SCP, takes a few re-reads to grasp the bigger picture, and all the little details.

My only suggestion (just suggestions!) would be for the test log:

"Testing has been delayed indefinitely due to ethical qualms."

is a bit out of place. "Delayed" seems a bit ambiguous. "Ethical Qualms" doesn't feel very Foundation. It feels like there's a need to justify the absence to the reader, or that there's an uncertainty in the decision.

"Testing has been suspended indefinitely by order of the Ethics Committee."

Seems a bit more appropriate. "Canceled" or "Forbidden" might also apply, if you want to emphasize that testing was planned, but never executed. The "Ethics Committee" rather than "ethical qualms" removes uncertainty, as though those with an authority are saying testing with this SCP is unethical.

+1 Overall!

Last edited on 09 May 2019 18:13 by T Rutherford Show more

DarkStuff 09 May 2019 18:13

Actually, my idea is that people of authority weren't necessary for people to say "no, this is a bad idea". I specifically wanted to avoid Ethics Committee involvement, because I wanted to show the Foundation being human at a base level. No one had to step in on this one, the testing didn't happen because nobody wanted to do it. However, I agree that some rewording is in order.

T Rutherford 09 May 2019 18:15

That's an interesting take! Some people approach writing articles from a position of inherent "inhumanity" in the Foundation. Not necessarily cruel, but definitely a "science first" mentality, hence some of the more… ethically questionable test logs. I like that angle though, especially considering the uncertainty of who/what SCP-4456 would hit. Good call!

P.S. Shortest wordcount article? http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-j is this some kind of JOKE to you?

Last edited on 09 May 2019 18:19 by T Rutherford Show more

Lamentte 09 May 2019 18:27

P.S. Shortest wordcount article? http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-j is this some kind of JOKE to you?

YOU THINK //THAT'S// ANYTHING?

DarkStuff 09 May 2019 18:31

To both of you: shortest mainlist SCP wordcount. If we were going for straight wordcount, this would win (not including the title).

T Rutherford 09 May 2019 18:33

Doesn't count. That's nouveau art that employs tactful subversion while creating a meaningful, nakedly honest connection with the spectator. scp-309-j transcends "article" status.

EDIT: http://www.scp-wiki.net/the-death-of-alto-clef-etc best tale. Liek if u crie evry tiem.

Last edited on 09 May 2019 18:34 by T Rutherford Show more

Prototype_Toaster 09 May 2019 19:14

What do I take away from this? Am I just too stupid to get whatever is happening here? My thoughts were initially that this was some Anti-Gun message but reading the spoiler has changed my view on it. Yet, it has not improved my view of this article. It still feels meaningless to me. And I still don't get what the testing log results are supposed to mean, either.

-1

Tufto 09 May 2019 21:24

Am I just too stupid to get whatever is happening here?

Yes.

Connor MacWarren 09 May 2019 23:04

My thoughts were initially that this was some Anti-Gun message but reading the spoiler has changed my view on it.

Why were your first thoughts focused on this being an Anti-Gun message? Aside from the obvious, this is too short to be considered as a message at all.

DarkStuff 09 May 2019 23:09

Aside from the obvious, this is too short to be considered as a message at all.

I'm curious as to what you mean from "the obvious". I did write this with a message in mind.

Connor MacWarren 12 May 2019 08:19

The obvious being that the gun shoots your loved ones instead of you or anyone directed at.

Prototype_Toaster 10 May 2019 01:31

Because I started looking for a deeper message behind it when I didn't like it at first

Rigen 10 May 2019 21:17

Sometimes, a story is just a story. An afterglow reflected by cold ice mirrors.

litehound 10 Jun 2019 11:20

It's not anti-gun, it's just saying that suicide hurts the people you're close to.

HotColes 09 May 2019 19:49

I feel like the ending "test logs" shouldn't be in a collapsible since it doesn't make sense for a researcher in-universe if there isn't any kind of record.

stormbreath 09 May 2019 20:17

I disagree - while yes, diegetically it doesn't make sense, the article is noticeably hurt by the lack of the collapsible. The collapsible served as a way to bait the hook, and tease test logs that don't actually exist. Removing the collapsible removes the twist and significantly hurts the ending.

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can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day

DarkStuff 09 May 2019 20:35

Damn. There seem to be factions. I have some people in IRC saying to keep the collapsible, and some saying not to. Grrrr. I hate stuff like this.

EDIT: Keeping the collapsible and that's final. No more edits.

Last edited on 09 May 2019 20:38 by DarkStuff Show more

Kenoma 10 May 2019 03:40

I support this. The collapsible is a huge thing for me. I would've dislike this skip if I wasn't baited. Before reading the article, the first thing I did was click the collapsible because I suspected that it must be a long one. But it isn't. I felt interested immediately.

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𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤, 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪: 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕧𝕚𝕧𝕖, 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕝𝕖𝕕𝕘𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕟𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕘𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟, 𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟. 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕥.

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