SCP-4375 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-4375.

Two Forgetful Men

kamelen800 29 Apr 2019 16:18

So this was an SCP file made by me, with critique from aismallard and MacWarren does not match any existing user name here on the Drafts and Critiques forum and RadioactiveRADs, Henzoid, AwooIsMyName, rura, DeltaMagnatude and psychicProgrammer on the r/SCPDeclassified discord server.

Show image credits

header

west

The first is under creative commons 3.0 and the second is considered "free to use" with "no attribution required" on its website.

This took a while to write and get finished, and i've learned a lot from it. I'd argue that this is much better than SCP-4227, my previous finished file. Between that and this one, I went through writing 3 fully finished files which were never posted. This file was inspired by the SCP files wmdd-s-proposal, djkaktus-s-proposal, SCP-3999 and SCP-3001, and the letters-to-my-future-self tale, which it, to be honest, the file was the most heavily inspired from. It also used a document format for one of the addenda, which was taken from djkaktus-s-proposal, but altered slightly.

Edit: Also changed the text PNGs so that they're real text instead, to make thing more practical for people using text to speech and similar things. This was done using a format from scp-style-resource. This format was made by djkaktus.

Last edited on 01 May 2019 09:47 by kamelen800 Show more

rua0 29 Apr 2019 17:38

I'm afraid it's -1 from me.

I don't think this fits with the Foundation's conservative/cautious ethos (secure, contain, protect). My understanding of Thaumiel is that while half the anomalies on the site could conceivably be weaponised, it is extremely risky to do so. Thaumiel should be reserved for objects the Foundation can't afford to ignore.

Aside from personal interpretations of Foundation philosophy, I don't find the romance of Addendum 4375.8 to be particularly natural or believable.

kamelen800 29 Apr 2019 18:21

Completely understandable, man, but Thaumiel means that the anomaly is something the foundation intends to use for the benefit of itself and humanity, not that it's something they "can't afford to ignore". Changed the notes a little to feel more natural and less forced, as well. Thank you very much for reading :].

kamelen800 29 Apr 2019 18:20

[Ignore please. Pressed the wrong button]

Last edited on 29 Apr 2019 18:21 by kamelen800 Show more

Damian Uck 30 Apr 2019 06:35

Nothing bad from me, I quite liked it.
I do have a few questions though.

Addendum 4375.3: Recovery Logs.
Here you list the MTF members in the operation, while in the logs you add "P-1 8" whom was not mentioned. Is this intentional?

Addendum 4375.7: Notable Field Operations
The last 2 operations are both referred to as "XI" but have different dates.
Is this intentional?

Generic question:
The researcher and security guard found the anomaly, which happened to be near to where they lived. Aren't site staff provided housing near, or onsite? Might be a canon thing, im just unsure.

Also, "The Ethics Committee" sound rather barbaric in it's regards to either brainwashing or killing the doctor all the while employing their new reality bender as a weapon. Not sure this is the way they'd handle this.

BUT, all in all. I liked reading it. Plenty of logs, which I am a sucker for.
+1

Last edited on 30 Apr 2019 06:36 by Damian Uck Show more

kamelen800 30 Apr 2019 07:02

Thank you for pointing out the problem with the recovery logs and field operations. It's appreciated, man.

And for the thing about housing: well I don't think they get housing onsite. It's not something I've read. D-Class live onsite, of course, but I've never heard of guards or researchers, for example, doing this.

And yeah the thing about the Ethics Committee: yeah they're kind of the bad guys in this file. I'll agree that I might have made them too mean. Will change some of their wording.

Thank you for the critique and kind words!

Frostdrache 08 May 2019 13:48

+1, but…
The Ethics committee is supposed to serve as a check/balance on the power of the O5s, and ensure ethical treatment of sentient and sapient SCPs (excluding outstanding circumstances, like SCP-231¹). However, here, the Ethics Committee is portrayed here as overtly sadistic and monstrous². Usually, the Ethics Committee is overridden by the O5 council, or their review is exempted by a Thaumiel classification, due to the anomaly's importance to the accomplishment of the Foundation's mission, but in the case of SCP-4375, there are more powerful, complicit reality benders to fill this role, and SRAs, which invalidates the grossly unethical actions detailed here.

OPERATION XI | <10/09/2017>
Subject: Foundation enemies
Description: SCP-4375-1 was used to terminate traitorous Foundation members and implanted Chaos Insurgency members.
Notes: [DATA REDACTED]

I enjoy a good conspiracy-esque narrative, and this is just that: but it clashes with the general operating methods of the Foundation.

Footnotes

1. Although, given that the O5 council and Ethics Committee know about SCP-2317, they are overstepping the Foundation's ethical bounds in that article too.

2. See quote below.

---

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and spiders." - FDR, probably

kamelen800 08 May 2019 19:33

Thank you for the +1! And what you've said here is completely valid and something I've heard from others as well. To solve what you've said I think I will try to make a special research team responisible for the proposal of the project instead of the ethics committee, but still having them leave their note at the end of the field use memorandum.

Windead 30 May 2019 17:11

I throughly enjoyed it! I always enjoy articles that show how much the Foundation is willing to compromise ethically to achieve normalcy. You did a great job on this scp. Easily a +1 from me. Looking forward to seeing more

Last edited on 30 May 2019 17:12 by Windead Show more

kamelen800 30 May 2019 22:35

Thank you a lot man! Means a lot, and I plan on writing more!

Last edited on 18 Sep 2019 21:12 by kamelen800 Show more

Dr Imity 30 Sep 2019 06:44

I can't get past how cheesy the interview log is. It's a researcher telling a woman "we will brainwash your boyfriend and if you say no we will kill you" in the most barebones and blatant way possible. Interview logs usually add something other than explicit information, be it fleshing out characters or delivering the information implicitly. As it stands right now it broke any immersion I had.

The hook is good but the article fails to deliver imo. I don't feel sympathy about the SCP, as you only left a dry description of his horrible state (this is where the interview log should have come in) and as such I can't see the conflict between ethics and foundation doctrine.

-1 for now, but I will change it if these problems are addressed as, besides them, the article isnt terrible.

Hugh Manatee 07 Apr 2020 23:16

The article was engaging and enjoyable up until the end of the recovery log. You completely lost me at that point. This is very confusing and needs some work:

Second Recovery Attempt Summary: UA-038-POKG was informed that if it used its anomalous abilities on the MTF Pi-1 members at the location, Dr. Willow would be terminated. Recovery was successful and UA-038-POKG received SCP Classification and was assigned a temporary containment unit at Armed Biological Containment Area-14.

MTF Pi-1 was slaughtered in the first recovery attempt and as such no longer exists; at least until someone does something about that. Recovery of Researcher Willow was presumably unsuccessful following the death of P-1 7.

kamelen800 28 Apr 2020 11:59

Fixed it by changing the MTF used in the second attempt summary :]