There are way too many random and silly elements at play here, which make me struggle to enjoy this. I'm fine with crackfics, but if this is a contest article intending to explore the Mages Academy, it does a rather poor job doing so. The cameos feel shoehorned in, some of the descriptions of events read awkwardly and aren't given weight, and the characterization of Joey Fucknuts in particular and the things he values are glazed over for the sake of comedy. In the end, it's hardly even about the Declaration of Independence, Joey, or the Mages Academy.
As a contest entry, it's a downvote for me, though after the contest I may end up novoting it, because I do think crackfics have a legitimate place on the site. But not in this context. I don't want to seem harsh but I think even crackfics should be assessed constructively.
