My Head Is On Fire And I'm (Not) Ok / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page My Head Is On Fire And I'm (Not) Ok.

What? No We Don't Wave Water Here! Just Throw Some Pudding On It!

Captain Kirby 14 Mar 2019 15:48

Ok, so doing an oneiroi format in 24ish hours was a bad idea, but also a good idea.

Thanks to Roget, Othellothecat, JackalRelated, aismallard, Stallmantic and Mortos for critique!

Image Attribution:

Jenga Tower - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jenga_tower_with_vertical_pieces.JPG
Jellyfish - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Moon_jellyfish_at_Gota_Sagher.JPG

Last edited on 14 Mar 2019 16:20 by Captain Kirby Show more

aismallard 14 Mar 2019 15:58

Nice work, well-executed format that kept my interest all the way through, with lots of variety, economical character development, and a compelling story despite its simplicity. Well done, it was enjoyable reviewing this last night while I slept. +1

ch00bakka 14 Mar 2019 16:13

#TimAllen +1

GoopLovesYou 14 Mar 2019 17:41

My Head Is On Fire And I'm (Not) Ok

You give love a bad name

BiovoreBarrage 14 Mar 2019 18:04

Haven't seen an Oneiroi tale in a while, this gave me a good chuckle. +1

notgull 22 Mar 2019 01:05

Damn this deserves to be rated higher. This is a creative, criminally underused format. It reminds me of SCP-4991 in some ways, although I cannot argue that it's more certainly executed better here. Although in comparison to faminepulse's original #Xiupania it's less of a stream of thought and more concrete, it still manages to create a solid story in this sort of pseudo-internet of random things.

My primary complaint is that it uses the same few sub-formats quite a few times over. There are consistent characters, yes, but in some ways I feel that that is a weakness. It doesn't feel like a global(?) phenomenon when it focuses on the same handful of users. In addition, although the ending is definitely fresh and is a good way to end this work, I saw it coming from a mile away, and even then it's still a little vague.

The good here definitely outweighs the bad, though. +1

Captain Kirby 22 Mar 2019 15:22

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the piece!

My primary complaint is that it uses the same few sub-formats quite a few times over.

So… this is primarily due to the fact that I am not a formatting guru + jamcon. I think if I had more time with this piece I probably would've tried to vary things more. Maybe throw some instagram in there. I considered using the wikipedia subformat but I felt like an expositionary piece wouldn't quite fit. Although I do feel like the repetition gives more of an illusion of structure, I agree it kind of detracts from the collective vibes you're supposed to get from oneiroi

I saw it coming from a mile away

I have plans after jamcon voting is over to reel in the foreshadowing a little bit. make the advertisements more vague at the beginning and then have them grow more explicit as the piece goes on. I would do it now but some nerd decided we have to wait until voting is over to make any content changes. :P

+1 for a great story and a for making my least favorite GoI format interesting

Tyumen 15 Jun 2020 12:12

It's not funny, my head is on fire!

A wonderful post with wonderful formatting

Papa_Jaygo 15 Jun 2020 19:35

I really enjoyed the stuff I’ve read from this GOI and this is no exception. The tale itself was very fun to read. The thing I appreciate most is the formatting of the chats and the running gag of the VPN. The chats remind me of GAW. I know not everyone appreciates the ironic and sometimes anomalous homies but I do. This work was truly something to admire!

Maxyfran73 15 Oct 2022 15:44

Really good piece: I love both the general concept and the escalation of it, as well as the ad bits that end up coalescing into a pretty weird ending. My one 'but' is that the ending itself feels like a last punch that could easily just not be there and not change that much. The bits before the ending already feel pretty final, so that last login bit with the message just don't feel like they add that much to the mix.

Other than that though, a pretty good format. +1