Just read this in chat not 20 minutes ago and loved it! +1
Best concept.
Can we consider Chair Hell. Imagine, people with no butts.
Elbow hell?
Hell Hell?
cryogen get in here!
Hell Hell?
Followed by Hell Hell Hell.
Living the dream, or dreaming the life?
I swear this is the most original concept in months. I'm salty that I didn't come up with it first.
So well done, Silber. So good. +1
Is this hell for ice cream? As in, the place where ice cream goes when it dies to be eternally punished? Am I correct in this assumption? Because if so, what?
While I can't say it's not a brilliant execution of the concept, the concept itself is, well… Ice Cream Hell. I realize SCPs have been getting progressively sillier, but good grief! This makes Giraffe Hell look sour-faced and serious by comparison.
That being said, I'm still upvoting this for being an enjoyable, original, well-crafted piece of fiction, which is really all I ask for.
This could have very easily been too silly to survive, and for some it may violate that particular threshold. The way in which this was executed, though, allows for several concepts that are actually quite serious in their implications. This is one of those articles that becomes better the more one reflects on it as a result.
For instance, what exactly is the nature of the extradimensional space in which Ice Cream Hell is located? Is it something that is real in a scientifically understandable sense (insofar as science can grasp at any given time the concept of existence outside of the traditional 4-D model)? Or given its resemblance to a traditional Western vision of Hell, is it some sort of belief-based construct affecting humans?
And what kind of person would order something like that being installed in their store? Can you imagine the kind of person who opens a grocery store and then decides that they need a place of eternal punishment for their dairy products?
The only thing that really struck me as off was the first addendum. I think I like the idea of Richard and Sons being faceless a little better, as it adds to the mystery of this phenomena. The two technicians were a little goofy (especially the bit about them hiring people from Domino's to open hell-portals), and the fact that they are still extant and reachable by phone brings up the unresolved issue of why the Foundation can't track these guys. Not bothersome enough to affect my vote, however.
My favorite part though, is how there are (to me anyway) two major interpretations of what's going on in Ice Cream Hell. You either have this group of demons in this crazy hellscape bent on causing suffering to inanimate lumps of ice cream, which is absurdly hilarious as one imagines the lengths these beings are going to in order to uselessly torment something. Or, on the other hand, ice cream is somehow sentient and capable of sin. And then it goes to Hell if it's not good at being ice cream. Which, you know, huh.
Upvoted. "Fucking weird" is risky to undertake, but sometimes it hits something very satisfying in the reader's mind, and this seems to have done the trick.
As far as the employees' dialogue is concerned, I work for my parents' small plumbing company, and my brother, who's also my supervisor, and I have that exact same conversation all the damn time. It's actually pretty realistic dialogue, even for a company that deals in creating gateways to Ice Cream Hell.
Also, You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream!!
It's actually pretty realistic dialogue, even for a company that deals in creating gateways to Ice Cream Hell.
This is a subset of a thing where authors on the site assume that extraworldly entities, many of which aren't even human, talk just like the author does in real life. "It sounds just like a twenty-something white American male on the internet" does not equal "realistic dialogue."
Unless all those twelve-year-olds in the chat are right and the Foundation is real, you and your brother do not, in fact, work for a company that opens portals to Ice Cream Hell. So while the dialogue makes absolute sense for two guys working for a plumbing company, I'm deeply skeptical that it would be exactly the same thing for two guys working for Richard and Son.
I understand where you're coming from. The "otherworldly entity who talks like an average internet user for the sake of amusing bathos" trope is getting played out.
However, I don't think it's applicable here. Just because these guys deal with otherworldly entities doesn't mean that they think like them. They might be humans caught up in something much weirder than they are, or they might be entities with the appearance and thoughts of humans; that's for the reader to decide. Either way, the intent here actually was to write an average, somewhat curmudgeonly repairman and a younger guy who may or may not be his son who work for a small service-and-repair business in the South somewhere, so I'm pleased to hear someone vouch for the accuracy there.
I love the bizzareness of Ice Cream Hell, but honestly I found it a tad too reminiscent of Giraffe Hell for me to upvote. Also, this falls into the pitfall of "over-explainy dialogue", where the characters say things to each other for the sole purpose of exposition for the reader when they'd otherwise not say it. Biggest offender in my opinion was this line,
It means greater got-dang Asheville. We're a local business, we're family-run, I'm a third-generation manager. We provide a niche service to a very specific area. Are you going to pay your own goddamn gas money and van maintenance to head out into the fucking sticks to open a demonhole at some redneck's cabin?
Like, I can't imagine these people saying this for any other reason than to explain to the reader that this business is family-run, local and that the speaker is a manager.
Neutral vote.
And if the whole world is crashing down… fall through space out of mind with me.
I disagree with you here. I feel like the characters could be saying this to each other without it serving only as exposition if Operative B was new to the business. I feel like this is the case because they remind him that he used to work at Domino's.
Everything just screams "Operative B is a new guy" to me.
I guess you're right. Still not that happy about it, though.
And if the whole world is crashing down… fall through space out of mind with me.
Holy… I was going to include a portal related GoI in my first SCP attempt, can I borrow this one? Their focus on the local market might even serve as a greatest justification of what I was about to do with my idea.
Nonetheless, I scream "Upvote"
I scream "upvote", you scream "upvote", we all scream "upvote" for ice cream upvote.
Ice cream hell.
Let that sink in.
A.
Hell.
For.
Ice.
Cream.
+1
Have a boy!