11 total votes and 0 non-author comments. A tragedy, truly. But more importantly: woah! I critiqued this!? I guess I've critiqued enough articles in my day that I am bound not to remember all of them, but it's still weird to see my name pop up in the author comment credits with no recollection. Makes me feel strangely… accomplished.
Anyways, 'nough of that. This tale! I think it's alright. I'm novoting, which is another perfect reason to leave a comment (so that your having read something is documented), because I like some of this and I don't like other parts, and the feelings aren't crazy strong in either direction. I think I got lost a couple times, as in I had a hard time visualizing where we were supposed to be. My strongest example of this is that you start by saying "the wasteland that was once his Site," which makes me think that the building is rubble. However, it is still standing, and he walks into it for shelter later. These seem to contradict. In other instances, I just feel like the imagery isn't strong enough for me to spatially… put everything together in my brain.
Secondly, the idea of a big green monster that can absorb you made me think it was made of slime, which in turn made the big hand coming to open the door kind of comical, because I was imagining a Goosebumps-type monster. Not really your fault, just kind of humorous and I doubt it's what you were going for.
Otherwise, the pacing was lightning fast but intentional, the prose generally charming, and my complaints minimal. That adds up to a novote in my book.
