"SCP-4129 refers to an unmarked deli away from populated areas with a preference to locations it has visited before."
This line is really confusing, took awhile to comprehend. You don't mention anywhere else in your article that it reappears places, not even in the catalog of its appearances. So what does it mean when you say "a preference to locations it has visited before"?
"Anything within SCP-4129 that is not touching the floor or an object that is, such as a stool or table, will be left behind when SCP-4129 changes location. "
I seriously have no clue what this means either. It just makes me think you're saying both everything not touching the floor and touching the floor stays. It's redundant. Just say "everything within the building will be left behind"
SCP-4129 is known to appear within a one-hundred (100) kilometer radius of subjects who have not eaten for a period of twenty-four (24) hours or longer. Locations in which SCP-4129 materializes are completely random, the only criteria being that it appears in the direction the subject is moving towards and that it is obscured from the view of everyone within the area.
What is the relevance of a starving subject and them moving to it hundreds of kilometers away? And why do you go from saying that it needs to be "obscured from view" to then saying it appears on a highway, and several feet off the ground with people noticing?
SCP-4129-2 are patrons of SCP-4129 ranging from ages six (6) to eighty-seven (87)
This range should be irrelevant since it is able to change, as shown that subjects can leave if there is a maximum number reached and more can come. I think actually you can build your article to be more interesting based off of the subjects.
Note from SCP-4129 Containment Overseer, ██████: I cannot stress how important it is that we carefully choose our phrasing in the future when dealing with this anomaly. We cannot afford to send our researchers out into the field and not have them return. See that this does not happen again.
This is interesting but it is not clear enough that the staff member conducting the interview became an instance of SCP-4129-2. This is something that doesn't need to be subtle; and again, something that if expanded upon can make your article more interesting.
SCP-4129 appeared, still coated in ███████ from the previous incident. Both officers exited the building with meals and no longer acknowledged the overwhelming amount of ███████ SCP-4129-1 was seen scraping off.
Again, it is in no way clear what this is alluding to since the last incident was marked "[DATA EXPUNGED]" so this isn't really necessary unless given a narrative or purpose.
