This concept is great, but you explained it to much. Leave more about how it works out and try redacting a few more things.
That speech log was great btw, if a bit cheesy.
I like this a lot, but there are some typos and wonky grammar that need to be fixed.
— Disregard this. I had too many windows open and posted this to the wrong thread.
"Sometimes you can approach feedback with a scalpel, sometimes only the sledgehammer approach will make your point clear."
~ Zyn - Forum Crit Team Captain @ The SCP Foundation
Thank you for an honest critique and suggestions. I would be delighted if you could help me with the grammar and vocabulary issues, as for the rest, I will think about it and attempt to apply your ideas to the article.
Thanks for everything!
No problem!
I fixed the object class spelling and started fixing the 1st Addendum.
I also added one more thing to my suggestions.
P.S. Can you review my SCP draft when you have time? (press here)
Great. Thank you! I can definitely use some of your ideas.
EDIT: I did make some changes to the original using your ideas, hope you like it more this way because I surely do.
As for your own draft, I liked it maybe a little too long for what it seems to be but really good.
I'm not sure if I can shrink it (Maybe by removing the recovery log transcript, although I'd rather not do that - I already collapsed it), but I appreciate the feedback anyway.
As for the final review, I'll update my initial post.
The concept seems a bit wacky and like a joke SCP at the start, but as you read into it things become more clear.
The grammar in my opinion is alright, nothing special but what I would expect from usual SCP.
That’s a +1 from me
Well, the turn this article took surprised me.
I am not experienced but in the interview, aren't the doctors supposed to act more professionally ?
Aside from that, I really enjoyed it. So that's a +1 from me.
"I got people people underneath my bed, I got a place where all my dreams are dead". Porcupine Tree
Yeah, I love depressing prog rock. Yup.