Me vs you (also know as Felixou’s author page)

rating: +58+x

Well, hello there. I am Felix, also known as Felixou.
I am a French Canadian (also known as Quebecois) who enjoys the world of SCP and sometimes writes about it. My pronouns are he/him.

Anyways, welcome (or welcome back) to my author page. Below is a list of my work on the wiki. Idk what else to say.




Co-authored with ZG1906ZG1906
Approximately three days after the theft of SCP-6111, multiple D-Class were reported missing from their cells.



Co-authored with RoundaboutsRoundabouts
"I just wanted to see what would happen when someone affected by alcohol used SCP-6266".



"So you killed it?"
"'Course I did. It surely didn't move after that."



Co-authored with Jack WaltzJack Waltz
You feel like you're floating, like in those dreams you have every once in a while.

Your lungs are filled with the refreshing air, every last bit of it holding the taste of nature.



Doing Everything, Everywhere, All At Once.



1 + 1 = 1



Co-authored with Jack WaltzJack Waltz
The wheat moves once more and shines golden under the sun.

Tales & GoI Formats


Unexpected Light

He thought of the sun, the big red monstrosity that broke the day, and was waiting to break his day


Ninth Circle

Co-authored with Fish^12Fish^12
"What's 'Atypical Persuasion'?"

"… No idea."


Log of Anomalous Dates

A skeleton will appear in Dr. Kalister's bedroom closet at night and scream "IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN!" before disappearing.



Felixou's Author Page

What? Who put this here?
What? Who put this here?
What? Who put this here?
What? Who put this here?


Felixou's Thumbnails

Well, would you look at that. Even more cool thumbnails for articles!

Random Article: SCP-055-INT

awb.png ccc.png clb.png tsf.png apf.png pvr.png egd.png

(idk if that last one counts but I'm putting it anyway)

Attendance.png Art.png Orange.png Silver.png Media.jpg TV.png Cycle.jpg Apple.png 1K.jpg Bronze.png gift.png


"Why are you scrolling? There's nothing down here."

"To get to the comments?
Well, there you go."

"Are you really still scrolling?"

"Stop scrolling."

"Just stop."

"It's not funny."



Gtfo my author page bitch.

You look at him in defiance. He is ready to throw punches at you.

You say, with a smirk on your face, "Come at me, if you dare."

Felixou is now furious.

A voice comes out of nowhere; it screams.

"READY?! … FIGHT!!!!"

Some weird NES music starts playing, and it's pretty groovy.

"I'm going to beat your ass!" Felixou says out loud.

It's about to be a great battle. A fight between the titans. Some might even call it a war.

1 minute later…


He fucking sucks at fighting.

You left his body in a sorry state.

"P-Please," Felixou says painfully. "Please have mercy."

You smile at him.

You approach his ear to whisper the final punchline.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Mercy? You, of all people, dare ask for mercy? Even after everything you've done? Good grief, you surely are the lowest of the low…"

Stomps on your skull a total of 179 times, crushing it.

… and stay out…

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to edit this page on mobile? You have no fucking idea."


- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Felixou? More like Felix you dead."

Shoots you a 1000 times, then tosses corpse into the ocean.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"ok femur."

insert bass boosted vine boom sound effect here.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Sounds of passive-aggressive chomping and chewing of Buffalo-Flavored onion rings.

"You got games on yo phone? I gotta beat my new high score on Jetpack Joyride."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Did you know that wiki-renowned author FelixouFelixou was once hit by a car? Just something to consider."

runs over you in a Tesla Cybertruck

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"There is no mercy."

Begins microwaving the child Palpatine style

- - - - - - - - - - - -


"Wait what was the correct input again? Wait never mind I got it now!"

Plunges hand into your throat and proceeds to pull your spinal cord out and along with your head.

Flawless Victory! Fatality!

Downtown NowhereDowntown Nowhere

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Forbidden Technique: Seething Sphere, Crushing Crotch!"

Teleports behind you.

"Nothing personal kid…"


- - - - - - - - - - - -

"I don't even know what I was doing here but, oh, well."

Casually pinch you to death.

Seed HoltSeed Holt

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"You know what… you're right. Why are we even fighting? All this needless conflict, all the devastation it's caused, it's pointless."

I extend an arm, helping you up.

"Come on, let's put aside our differences and not bring any more chaos and fighting, but instead work to make the world better for everyone. Let's rebuild, together."

I outstretch my arms and embrace you, before plunging a knife deep into your back. You fall to the ground, looking up at me with bewilderment. I laugh.

"You really thought it would be that easy? You really thought I would let you survive? You fell right for it! You're even more foolish than I thought."

Your vision becomes fuzzy and cloudy as I walk away, leaving you to die. The last thing you see is me slowly walking as I trip over my own foot and fall on my face, ruining the dramatic exit scene I'd been building up to. Oh well.


- - - - - - - - - - - -

"A wise man once said, that violence for violence is the rule of beasts."

I hold you above the ground by the neck.

"So tell me. Do you think beasts show mercy?"

You nervously shake your head. I smile in agreement, before launching you into stratosphere.


- - - - - - - - - - - -

"My kind have lived over countless centuries. I have seen universes collapse in on each other, and I have bathed in the blood of millions of innocents. I am the thirteenth of my kind. The thirteenth Cole indeed. I have not killed and lived for a century just to show your pitiful self ‘mercy’. Goodbye, Felixou. "

Stabs Felixou in the stomach with the tip of a long spear.
Cole 13Cole 13

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"I'm already Winston."

Felixou is Throngled.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"I- I didn't even do anything?"

Walks away confused; Felixou explodes behind me; freeze-frame of the final shot.

- - - - - - - - - - - -


Felixou responds:

"T-tomato stew?"

"And you still disappoint."

Felixou is consumed.

Jack WaltzJack Waltz

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Find God, you vile beast." RoundaboutsRoundabouts mumbles with her lips, prior to running towards FelixouFelixou and slipping to the floor. In the process, she fractures her head, and passes away.

"gg ez, rat", yells Felixou with joy.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Felixou: P-please, don't h-hurt me!

Erminustay: This is a fictional reality, why tf should I care :teemo:

Felixou: Okay, well that's just ru—

Felixou then proceeds to spontaneously combust, and then fold inside out from every orifice, creating multiple deep lacerations throughout his body. All of the bones are suddenly dislocated and pried out of his still living corpse, before he finally begins to twist and distort into a singularity, wherein he is shrunken out of existence.

Erminustay: Huh, this music goes kinda hard ngl ::catparty::


- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Mercy is for those who can afford it. Unfortunately for you, I'm broke."

Felixou stares in confusion, before Delta slaps him. Delta proceeds to reach into Felixou's pocket and steal his wallet.

"Oh, hell yeah, a Benjamin Franklin!"
Project DeltaProject Delta

- - - - - - - - - - - -

rating: +58+x

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