Every SCP: A Mission: Series Introduction
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When Elijah Haverty-Jones saw what – or rather, who – was sitting in the containment cell, his first reaction was “Oh, goddammit.”

Even though he had been situated in the Foundation for exactly this reason, he did not feel any better about what was to come. It seemed inevitable that one of the four genetically identical dimension-hoppers was going to be noticed by the Foundation one day, but gods, did it have to be this one?

From the speaker attached in the containment cell, a distinctly childish voice floated through.

“So uh, hey, are we gonna like, do anything here? Or am I just supposed to sit here?”

Eli forced himself to resist the urge to walk in there and strangle the kid, because that would only cause him more trouble. Just keep taking deep breaths, Eli. Remember what the doctor told you. High blood pressure will only give you more problems. The brat would like that, wouldn’t they?

Instead of punching through the glass, Eli pressed a small green button on the control panel in front of him, leaning over the mic. “Hey there, brat. I’ve gotta go talk to my superiors and figure out what the hell to do with you, so for right now, sit there and don’t you fucking dare move. If you try to run from these people, it’ll give us both hell. Got it?”

There was a pause between Eli’s words and the brat’s response. “I have a name, you know. Or did you forget again?”

“The hell do you mean again – nope, you know what, fuck it, I’m not getting into it with you. Because that’s what you like, and right now you’re in trouble. Big fucking trouble.”

The brat started humming, apparently not interested in listening to Eli, instead swinging their legs under the metal chair and table they were currently handcuffed to.

Well, at least they can’t make anything worse for right now… right? Eli shook his head, braids falling across his face as he did.

Time to go talk to the higher-ups and see if he could make the situation at least a tiny bit better. But there was no guarantee the brat wouldn’t fuck it all up.


“Look, I know what I’m saying sounds fu – I mean, crazy, but you have to let the kid go,” Eli said, leaning over the desk of his superior, bracing himself on the desk with his elbows. “Yeah, they’re the exact definition of anomalous, but they have a purpose.

“Are you implying that other anomalous objects in this facility have no purpose?” The superior asked, waving one hand in the air. “All of them had a purpose at one point. Why is this one any different?”

“Because this one is helping to keep the world intact, I just explained that, you — ” Eli explained, cutting himself off before he could call his superior an idiot. “Yeah, I know, it sounds like a load of bullshi – bullcrap, but believe me, this one really does serve a purpose. Without them, the fabric of reality as we know it may collapse.”

“And I should believe you because?” The superior asked. “I’m sure most of the humanoid anomalies in this facility have tried to convince us at some point they were necessary for the world to keep turning, but the world has continued to spin with them in custody.”

Eli frowned. Damn, this was going to be harder than he thought. “Fine, don’t take my word for it, then. But take this.”

Reaching into his pocket, the dark-skinned man drew a USB stick from his pocket, shoving at his superior. “Don’t worry, it’s only got one file on it. And it won’t kill you or anything, it’s not memetic. If you don’t believe me, you can run your own tests on it.”

Eli turned on his heel, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.

The superior hummed in response, took the USB, and plugged it into the computer.


Later on, Eli was called back into the office by a now pale-faced superior.

“I’m…" The superior paused, swallowing heavily, "afraid I don’t have the clearance to authorize taking the object in question out of containment, but this is – this is definitely grounds to take it to the higher ups.”

“Then take it to the damn higher ups,” Eli hissed in response. “And maybe you can’t do anything about releasing the kid from custody, but at least tell me what to do with them in the meantime?”

“For right now, the best thing we can do is nothing,” the superior replied. “Keep it occupied with whatever means necessary, and in the meantime I will worry about getting it released. But do keep in mind it might not work.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Eli grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And I hope God’ll take mercy on your soul if you can’t, ‘cause I sure won’t.”


The brat was still in the same position as when Eli left them, which gave him reason to sigh in relief for the first time that day. Stress from the whole day was starting to get to his head, literally; some of his neatly-braided hair was coming undone, frizzy hair sticking out from the aforementioned braids.

“Hey, brat,” Eli said, pressing the green button again so the kid could hear him. “Listen, my superior is taking your case to the higher-ups, but for right now, you’re gonna be doing jack shit.”

“That’s no fun,” the brat pouted, crossing the arm that wasn’t handcuffed to the chair across their chest. “Can’t you make it go faster? And where’s Oliver, by the way?”

“I dunno where they put the damn cat, but they’re not gonna let you have him back if you try to pull any funny shit,” Eli replied. “So no portals. Yeah, I know you could open one up, but don’t, or else they’ll never listen to either of us.”


“Dictator, I’m fuckin’ serious,” Eli snapped, eyebrow twitching. “Don’t do anything, just sit there and answer their questions if they have any. Be good and you’ll be outta here. Got it?”

“But what if they don’t?” The brat – Dictator – quipped back. “I don’t exactly have a replacement, y’know, unless you wanna convince Liz to let one of her kids take my place.”

“I think we both know that’s not gonna happen,” Eli sighed. He felt drained, and he’d spent less than an hour actually talking to the brat. “Just… keep doing nothing. Got it?”

“Sure, fine, whatever.”

Dictator continued to pout, and Eli released the green button, slumping back into the swivel chair in front of the control panel.


It only took a few hours for Eli to hear back from the higher-ups, which was odd. Normally, these things took days, sometimes weeks, but apparently it was important enough that they got back to him immediately. What he heard was partially cause for celebration, but also enough to somehow make him even more stressed than he already was.

He gave a heaving sigh as he opened the containment cell where Dictator was still located, sitting pretty like he had told them to. He was accompanied by one of his superiors, another scientist whom he did not know well. The other scientist looked quite nervous, but Eli was cool as a cucumber. At least, he was for now. There was no telling what hearing Dictator’s voice would do to him later.

Once the airtight-sealed door was unlocked and opened, Dictator immediately perked up, looking much like an excited puppy as they strained at their restraints.

Finally, I thought you’d never come to see me!” Dictator exclaimed, swinging their legs a bit faster. “Are you gonna get me out of here? Who’s your friend? Where’s Oliver? Are we gonna – ”

“Kindly shut the hell up,” Eli growled before the other scientist could get a word in. “We’ve got a proposal for you, brat, and you can take it, or leave it. But I doubt you’re gonna wanna leave it.”

The scientist took the seat directly in front of and across from Dictator at the table, and Eli walked around to stand next to Dictator, putting one hand on their shoulder. Although this was usually a comforting act, Eli’s fingers dug into Dictator’s shoulder blade, causing them to flinch.

The other scientist cleared his throat before speaking. “Our proposal goes as such, Mx. O’Malley. You will be allowed to continue your dimensional upkeep for nine months out of the year. For three months, however, you must stay within the Foundation, and submit to tests and experiments conducted by the Foundation. You will be allowed to keep your… companion, but both of you must be under 24/7 surveillance. Because he seems to know you so well, Dr. Elijah Haverty-Jones will be in charge of your surveillance.”

“Oh… well, that doesn’t sound like much fun,” Dictator muttered, looking away from the scientist for a moment. A harsh jab in the ribs from Eli got them to look back at the scientist, grumbling “ouch” under their breath. “But, I guess as long as I get to keep Oliver, it won’t be so bad, right?”

The scientist ignored their question and continued on. “While you are in the Foundation’s care, you will be free to travel with Dr. Haverty-Jones during his daily rounds, as long as you do not prove to be dangerous or reckless in any manner. Is that understood?”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Dictator replied, twirling a lock of hair around their finger with their free hand. “But, like, what if something really bad happens while I’m here?”

“If the universe begins to… pull apart, as witnessed in the video, you will be dispatched along with an MTF unit to the location of the abnormality, and you will be allowed to fix it. Afterwards, you will return to the Foundation immediately for debriefing. Understood?”

“Okay, so… basically, big Bro gets to babysit me for three months each year? Sweet. This might not be boring after all!”

“Yeah, remember though, I decide when you get to come out of your cell,” Eli growled warningly. “So you’d better do everything I tell you to. Got it?”

Dictator giggled. “Yeah, sure. Got it.”

“If there are no further questions,” the scientist interrupted, starting to get up from the chair. “Dr. Haverty-Jones will bring you to a humanoid containment cell. You will be released tomorrow, and your first month of containment will begin three months from tomorrow. Understood?”

“Yep,” Dictator replied cheerfully. “This is gonna be fun!”

Eli groaned.

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