ERICS MEGA ZINE VOL 49: AN INTERMISSION TO KEEP YOU HANGING

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  ⚠️ Content warning: Childhood trauma, possible eyestrain

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hello everyone, eric here. there's no chapter of the Mega Zine this week because i just don't have the energy to make one right now. a lot has been going on.

but i didn't want to put nothing out for all of my dear loyal readers out there who i love so so very much, so you all get this little intermission in the meantime. i recently found a bunch of my old Mega Zines from when i first started making them as a kid, so today i'll be showing you the last one i made before i started posting them here.

please enjoy your never before seen exclusive eric Mega Zine content experience (with author commentary by eric):

this was the seventh Mega Zine i made as a kid. these were typically written over the course of a week or so, just documenting my life at the time. none of the other ones were particularly interesting, i suppose.

my parents have always been weird about my art and my toys. they were scared of me because i made things that were confusing to them, because "normal drawings aren't supposed to do that". even as a kid they were always trying to ignore me and my art. it's part of the reason why i started the Mega Zine in the first place, i didn't have too many creative outlets with them around. i wonder if they're still out there being assholes to someone else.

the guy they invited over was supposed to "fix" me or whatever. make me "cool" in their eyes. motherfuckers.

[[/size]]

i essentially moved from one set of assholes who hated my art to a different asshole who hated my art, except this time he also made money in the process. i never cared enough to figure out more details about the group he was selling them to, but it really pissed me off how he either took or threw away all of my art, so he decided to "fix" that part of me too.

then came the pictures. he showed me lots of these, they were supposed to make my art better. they did, i guess, in his view at least, but i started to hate it. it's not like i got better through any progress of my own. i wanted to be better at art, but i wanted me to be the one doing the betterment. after a while, it stopped feeling like i was making anything at all.

but it made him more money than a kid's drawing ever would, so what did it matter to him?

there's a reason there was such a big gap between this and my eighth Mega Zine. it took me an incredibly long time to work up the energy to draw again, and an even longer time to become comfortable with my art. i never saw my parents again after i left, and i thankfully never saw anyone "cool" ever again.

still, even after i started drawing and doing the Mega Zines again, i always left the final page of this one blank. maybe out of symbolism, maybe out of spite, maybe out of laziness, maybe out of never wanting to look at it again for as long as i lived. who knows, really? certainly not me, but it's probably a little bit of all of them.

but maybe it's time i turn it into something. a message to that man, to his pictures, to his pen, to the people he took away my art and sold it to, to my parents, and last of all to anyone who thinks they're too fucking cool to tolerate the art of some kid just trying their best:

CRITIQUE THIS, FUCKWADS. IS IT COOL ENOUGH FOR YOU?

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"ERICS MEGA ZINE VOL 49: AN INTERMISSION TO KEEP YOU HANGING" by Rhineriver, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/erics-mega-zine-vol-49-an-intermission-to-keep-you-hanging. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.

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