🗿galshoot 01/15/21 (Mon) 18:50:04 #83648190

The world's coming to an end, fellas.

If you haven't looked outside yet, there's a massive swarm of locusts sweeping across the world. LARPA failed. Everyone failed. We don't know much, but the radio's saying they eat almost anything. That includes humans.

I really didn't think it'd go down this way. Screw climate change, bugs are bringing us to extinction. Kind of funny. Feels like this is a dream, but it's real.

Try to get somewhere secure and spend your time well. Goodbye, Parawatch.

pygmallion07 01/15/21(Mon) 18:50:04 #83648190

screw that lmao, im gonna survive.

for old time's sake :)



Phillips (Voiceover): Heyo, whoever's watching, you probably know me as pygmallion07, but you can call me Phillips. Doesn't matter if I doxx myself if we're all gonna die, heh. Noone in the chat yet?

prestooge: hi. whatre you doing

Phillips (VO): Ah, hey prestooge! Well, uh, I know I got a bit full of myself in my post. But I'm gonna try and— uh, one second, still getting set up…

Camera feed turns on, showing a shelf full of different pesticides.

Phillips (VO): I have these. So… I'm gonna go out with a bang. I'm not the most committed to living anyways.

prestooge: theyre immune

Phillips (VO): Yeah. To most of these, actually. But they must have some effect. And I can't just do nothing. I've got to entertain you guys too. Least until… well.

The camera is bought towards a window, showing a swarm of locusts in the sky.

prestooge: oh. well

prestooge: what if…

prestooge: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Flamethrower

prestooge: :)

Phillips (VO): Haha, that's a great idea! Wikihow, comin' in clutch! (He pans the camera across his workshop.) I don't think I have anything for those fancy ones in here though, my mom just liked gardening. But I do have a lighter, could do that thing you always see in TV where they hold it up to the spray…

prestooge: thatd be easier yeah

soulcolor: Jesus, its the end of the world and you choose this garbage platform for your final livestream?

Phillips (VO): Hey soul! Damn, already getting more folks than I expected. Thought you'd all be dead. And, uh, I'm only using this 'garbage' because the other platforms are down. Bugs must've gotten to the servers or something.

soulcolor: Touché.

prestooge: we are making flamethrower

soulcolor: Heh, nice. I saw a bunch of military people mowing down the lo-shits with guns earlier. Pretty stupid.

prestooge: bullet too small

Phillips (VO): That doesn't seem smart, yeah. Also, lo-shits? Heh, I'm stealing that one.

soulcolor: Yep. The, uh, Ravaging of the Lo-shits.

prestooge: or god skipped to the eighth plague. and the world is egypt

Camera is bought towards a drawer, which Phillips begins to dig around in.

Phillips (VO): Y'know, you've gotten me thinking, what even caused this?

soulcolor: Ever heard of the Gaia theory?

prestooge: mother nature got mad?

soulcolor: In simple terms, yeah. It's basically that Earth itself is self-regulating, and I think, well, we got too shitty to fix.

Phillips (VO): So we need a reset.

prestooge: weird

Phillips removes a black zippo from the drawer and flicks it open, giving it a spark. The flame lights up.

Phillips (VO): Well, the hardest part is done!

Camera pans back to the shelf of pesticides.

Phillips (VO): One of these must work.

soulcolor: …I think hair spray would be your best bet, friend.

Phillips (VO): Too late for that. I'm not going outside, not until I'm ready.

prestooge: poisoning is better than getting eaten by locusts imo

soulcolor: I guess.

Phillips grabs a yellow can of pesticide and sets the camera down. Holding the flame up to the spray, he presses down on the nozzle, and the spray catching fire. He quickly stops.

Phillips (VO): Woohoo! We got it!

soulcolor: You wanna use this against the locusts, right? Sure it's gonna work?

Phillips (VO): Not sure at all. But I'm ready to die trying.

soulcolor: I'm afraid to die.

Phillips (VO): I… I kind of agree. But if everyone else is… what can I do? My life isn't that good anyways.

soulcolor: Hm. Hey, do you think there are rich people in fancy apocalypse bunkers? What if, in the future, some fuckin Fallout protagonist emerges after all the locusts die off? That'd be cool.

Phillips (VO): Yeah, yeah. It's kind of unfair, though.

soulcolor: How?

Phillips (VO): We're gonna die. For no reason. We didn't do anything. But nobody is gonna help us live. You know what I think? That LARPA is like, some secret organization. And they knew this was coming.

soulcolor: I think we talked about that on the Parawatch forums, yeah.

Phillips (VO): And we're completely in the blank. Ugh… Hey, uh, prestooge? You still around?

soulcolor: He's not on the userlist.

Phillips (VO): …screw this. (He sighs.) Goodbye, soul.

soulcolor: Goodbye…

Phillips walks over to a door, which he pulls open. Stepping outside, he looks up to see a swarm of locusts covering the sky. A part of the swarm begins to fly towards him as he drops the camera.

Phillips (VO): I'm ready for ya!

Phillips starts up his makeshift flamethrower, shooting it towards the swarm. Locusts burn up in the air before they quickly surround Phillips, who screams in agony. A few minutes later, his body is completely gone.

soulcolor: I can't go out like this.

Minutes pass. The camera is eventually covered by dust.

prestooge: im back sorry i had to go and help my mom get my grandparents into our bunker and

prestooge: oh

prestooge: f

soulcolor: Fuckin really, dude?

prestooge: sorry if f was disrespectful

soulcolor: I… I don't even know what to do at this point.

prestooge: :(

soulcolor: Hey, prestooge?

prestooge: yes?

soulcolor: If you ever come out of that bunker after all this and like, rebuild society, or whatever, please remember me.

prestooge: i will

soulcolor: Thank you. Goodbye.

prestooge: bye soul

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