Dr. Edison's Personnel File

WARNING: The following document contains signs of SCP-732 infection. Proceed with caution.

Item #: SCP-∞+1

Object Class: Enochian

Special Containment Procedures: I am to be given heaps of praise regardless of whether or not my actions have warranted said praise. In addition, the SCP Foundation site administrators are to send me large briefcases full of cash on a daily basis.

My Legend: Begins in the 12th century.

I was born in a log cabin in downtown Chicago, where my parents where tragically murdered on my way home from the movies. Then I got bitten by a radioactive dragonfly, was chosen by a dying space-cop to be his sucessor, and was then subsiquently granted amazing powers by a wizard that I could summon by speaking his name.

Cut to several years later, where I'm a washed-out hard-as-nails cop from new york, traveling to Los Angeles to reconnect with my estranged wife. When suddenly the building was invaded by terrorists, led by the enigmatic Hans Gruber. He was after the Ark of the Covenant, which he could only find by assembling the three peices of the Staff of Ra, one of which was held by a Minotuar, and the other two were held by chinese cyborg twins, one of whom only spoke the truth and the other only spoke lies. Also they both had laser swords nunchucks sword-chucks.

The chase eventually led me to Hong Kong, where Gendo Ikari said that he needed our help in stopping the Kaiju that were emerging from the rift at the bottom of the ocean. From there it was a simple task to assemble the perfect team for the job; Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Legolas, son of Thranduil, Gimli son of Glóin, and Solid Snake. Together we stole the Enterprise back from the malevolent energy being that had taken control, and crashed it into Skynet, preventing the dark future that the Oracles had warned me about.

And that is how I became the Blue Beetle.

Ah, but that's a story for another time. Now, as for my legend, it began in the 12th Century…


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