Hi, my name is UlyssesBark, you can call me Bark.
I'm guessing you're here either because you like my stuff, or you're a mod and I've done something that needs correcting. Either way, if you have a few minutes to spare, I've been accused of being a moderately good writer, so… Have fun!
Skips!
SCP-9033 — The Catalogue
The first thing I wrote for this site (that survived), my 9kcon entry. I noticed that a lot of authors like picking specific numbers for certain entries, this was my in-universe way of explaining why that happens.
SCP-8062 — I Still Believe
Based in the World Kept Turning canon. Fun fact, in real life, that cottage is a museum! You can read more about it here and here.
SCP-7461 — The Foundation Tries to be Charitable
Based in the Broken Masquerade canon. If the Foundation were real and public, you can bet they'd be annoying. Also, I love Wales.
SCP-9062 — The Tesseract
I don't think that sculpture exists anymore, hopefully it can live on in skip form.
SCP-9944 — A Lonely Planet
My best rated skip yet, and first skip to breach 100. Inspired by a conspiracy theory I heard.
Case File 9461: Disciplinary Hearing of M. Stone
Written for Dumbcon, the prompt was "A doorknob that, when installed into a door, eventually causes the surrounding building to blow up through some random catastrophe. However, the door, doorknob, door hinge, flooring, support, and anything else that keeps the door standing will remain untouched." I did not have fun writing this.
Something more experimental, inspired by working in customer service. Smells of piss.
Tales!
I always like slice of life stuff in the Foundation, this was my attempt to contribute to that. If you can't tell I like writing about Essex, my home county, a lot.
Current Recommended Read
SCP-9949 — The First Other
A brilliant example of why the SCP format works as well as it does. Short, unsettling, has implications for the universe which can easily be built off of. This is one of the articles that convinced me to start writing for the Wiki properly. Give it a read!
Sandbox
Spy on my latest project as I work on it.
Dr. Bark's research assistant.
Testimonies!
Feel free to add something below.
Zyde "They are all out there. +1."
whenwerewe "now you understand what it feels like to interface with the british government."
frozenFoxB "Also glad you clarified that the non-dangerous anomaly does indeed smell like piss."
Nebelskind "Researcher at the end got Placeholder'd but weirder."
FritzWillie "Had I known this guy would've joined the wiki I never would've created it."
Moto42 "Bark is actually my new account, don't tell anyone."
Ohnesorge001 "One of the more famous authors who you KNOW you've seen before, but you immediately forget from where."
Wynths "Fe fi fo fu i smell the blood of an english fuck!! also fix your blockquotes."
Merehrab “Who are you again?”