Doctor Fullham

Info

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"Doctor Fullham's Author Page" by: Doctor Fullham

♫ Doctor Fullham's Author Page ♫

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ALRIGHT FUCKERS I HOPE Y'ALL READY

CUZ WE ABOUT TO GO FULL HAM

UP

IN

THIS

BINCH

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Hey yo, it's ya boi Fullham. You can also call me Full-of-it, Hammy, DJ Hamhands, Hamsterdance…..call me whatever as long as it's not ████████ lmao 🤣💯 💦

MEAT the Author! AHAHAHAHAHA GET IT???!

THIS ME

Name: Mike

Pronouns: He/him/his preferred, they/them are accepted as well.

Age: 33 (YES I AM OLD)

Location: Minnesota, USA, the place where we constantly complain about the weather but are weirdly stubbornly proud of putting up with it.

Interests: Video games, weird paranormal shit (fucking DUH), reading sci-fi and high fantasy, writing (also DUH), biking, and swimming during the six weeks a year it's warm enough for it here. I also stream games on Twitch.

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A Cool Collection of Quirky Quotes, Fully Hammed!

THIS IS SHIT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT ME

Quikngruvn said "Ooooh, I see, Fullham. That both makes more sense and less sense."

JakdragonX said "The ham, the homeslice, the delectable legend."

Hexick said "You're so cool everyone wants you at Sunday dinner."

MalyceGraves said "A heart o' gold with a fine set of pipes."

Calibold said "Full is an 8/10 person. Doesn't smell awful, wears glasses, but isn't a wizard."

Tropinano said "One time I walked into the site19 and there stood Fullham in the biggest fucking hat you've ever seen. I was in shock and said 'where did you get that hat' but was quickly hushed as DrFullham stared at me, looked around hastily and vanished."

Proasek said "The more I read from Fullham the more I want die."

cybersqyd said "Doctor Fullham is, despite my strongest protests, an author."

WhiteGuard said "DrFullham: I would hate and love you at the same time for that."

Sonderance said "DrFullham hastened my descent into weebdom, and for that he will never be forgiven. He also gives pretty good crit."

Marcelles_Raynes said "You make me regret learning how to read sometimes."

WarFang said "I'm gonna fuckin headbutt you."

CelesteKara said "Fullham is definitely a ham. Not a very good one, but at least edible."

HarryBlank said "I didn't know you can get an authorpage by titling other people's stuff."

Cyvstvi13 does not match any existing user name said "You're alright."

Oboebandgeek99 said, "I get sea captain vibes from you. Or like, mad sea captain crossed with eldritch horror. But like a nice eldritch horror."

DrKens said, "DrFullham is a raccoon slut, like me."

ThatDudeOverThere said, "imma quote you in the future."

HarryBlank said, "Getting beaten to a pun by Fullham is like getting beaten to launching a satellite by the Moon."

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A Hamtastic Harem of Holy Hogwash aka my writing!

Series 4

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SCP-3608: "PTSD: Post-Traumatic Stress Dimension" (+85)

Original post date: July 9, 2018

This was my first ever SCP, and it took me ages to write. The earliest drafts were a sad ripoff of SCP-093 and people were quick to tell me such. After two years of editing and polishing, it was finally to a point where I felt comfortable posting it in the fall of 2018.

As of 21/06/2020, I have done a fairly major rewrite and shaved off about 1500 words thanks to the lovely cybersqyd. Ve helped me trim the fat and cut out a lot of stuff that didn't really help the narrative, and for that ve has my eternal gratitude. MalyceGraves's advice also prompted me to remove every single blackbox on the page.

Fun fact: The original title was "The Living Dimension", which I changed to "Knock Knock Knockin' on Fear's Door" after the rewrites in 2020. Then, WarFang on IRC gave me the current, much better title.

Appx. word count: 7650

Series 5

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SCP-4836: "I Love You Beary Much" (+68)

Original post date: December 30, 2019

What is and will probably remain my most emotional SCP. It's based on the fact that I really love my mom who is thankfully still with us. Wrote this in about two months after the first time I graced the IRC chats with my presence.

Appx. word count: 2000

Series 6

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SCP-5836: "To Nobel Peace You Must Prepare For War" (+56)

Original post date: March 10, 2020

My first entry for 144-hour Jamcon 2020, the theme was EXPLOSIONS. I stared at my signed photo of Mr. Torgue for inspiration as I wrote it. It's both my shortest SCP and the shortest time I've spent writing an SCP, 6-8 hours total. And since you foolish fools foolishy voted to keep it on the site, now this page exists.

I hope you all learn from your mistake.

Appx. word count: 500

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SCP-5608: "The Delectable Taste of Cognition" (+56)

Original post date: March 12, 2020

144-hour Jamcon 2020 entry #2, theme was DELICIOUS. Credit to the "Deleted Wikipedia pages with freaky titles" page for giving me "Scrambled brains on toast" which inspired this grotesque horror.

Appx. word count: 1150

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SCP-5447: "Art Imitates Life" (+44)

Original post date: June 28, 2020

My pinch-hit entry for the 2020 Exquisite Corpse contest. I had a lot of fun writing this, even if I was in a blind panic for much of the roughly 48 hours I had to write it. Thanks FoodAndBeverage for providing the containment procedures!

Appx. word count: 1400

Series 7

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SCP-6608: "I Saw The Light" (+63)

Original post date: July 23, 2021

Been working on this one since December of 2019 and there is no reason it should have taken me that long. Inspired by the photo, which was actually an r/SCP fuel post.

Appx. word count: 2650

Tales

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Canon Renaissance Contest: "The Hanging Tree" (+36)

Original post date: October 14, 2020

My contribution to the Team With No Name's Aces and Eights entries for Canon Renaissance Contest. This was a blast to write and I'm happy my first ever tale on the wiki was pretty well received!

Appx. word count: 650

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CupidCon 2021 Tale: "The Tale Of Richie And Mitchy" (+64)

Original post date: February 20, 2021

My entry to the CupidCon 2021 contest. I waited until the last day of the contest because I was just not feeling inspired, but then reading the other entries got me all fired up and I basically didn't sleep the night I wrote this. I had a blast and it was received better than I ever imagined.

Appx. word count: 1600

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Bright's Challenge: "Breaching Boredom" (+37)

Original post date: March 12, 2021

A short, personal vent piece about the mundanity of quarantine mixing with depression, and the need for something, anything exciting to happen.

Appx. word count: 350

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Deptcon 2022 Tale: "A Stitch In Time Saved Mine" (+30)

Original post date: February 14, 2022

A short-ish tale about the dangers of messing with the flow of time. My contribution for the Department of Prescience for Deptcon 2022.

Appx. word count: 820

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Actually Amazing Acts of Art from Amazing Avatars of Awesomeness!

I had this lovely image of SCP-3608 impromptu-drawn for me by the amazing Skorpt!!! I appreciate it so much and love how well they got across a complex idea in such a straightforward image! You can find her art page here!

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Artist Aethris also drew this incredible GIF of 4836, again, without me even asking! The artists here are so heckin' great and generous! You can find her art page here!

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Artist RafRusalka also drew this fantastic piece for 5447! You can find his DeviantArt page here!

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I commissioned this lovely pic of an epilogue scene of my two lovey dovey boys Richie and Mitchy from WarFang and he did a fantastic job! You can find his art page here!

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Robyrne also did this amazing drawing of Ritchie and Mitchy - I like to imagine this as the first time they met. You can find his tumblr here!!!

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Totally Titillating Titles for Tubular... People! Fuck You, Alliterations are Hard!

These are articles that other very talented people wrote that I provided the titles for:

SCP-3835: "Better inWeedients, Better Pizza, Papa John's" by Marcelles_Raynes

SCP-5270: "Press 'X' To Bear" by GerrymanderBassist

SCP-5450: "Fintastic Soup" by HunterDog

SCP-5461: "In the Mountains of Matrimony" by hungrypossum

SCP-5498: "You've got (my) eyes in the back of your head" by Marcelles_Raynes

SCP-5506: "The Best Part of Waking Up is Manifesting a New God" by MalyceGraves and DrAkimoto

SCP-5629: "Lumbricina Acid Diethylamide" by Marcelles_Raynes

SCP-5785: "Craptivism" by Deadly Bread and Sonderance

SCP-6366: "Bird of a Feather and its Icht Together" by MetalRavioli

SCP-6524: "A God-Awful Small Affair" by BlueJones

SCP-6919: "The Insistence of Memory" by Agisuru

SCP-6990: "If You Build It, They Will Come (And Tear It Down)" by HunterDog

"A Tale in Which a Recap is Disguised as Character Interactions" by Ihp

"Back to Your Irregularly Scheduled Programming" by Kensing

"Do Androids Dream of Sanctuary?" by BlueJones

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Listen as I say the words that the other people wrote!

If the title wasn't obvious enough for you shrieking plebs, these are recordings of Your Royal Hamness reading various SCPs and tales.

Due to changes in the file size rules, I have started a YouTube channel for my readings.

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SCP-3929: "boner pill by dado" by djkaktus

YOUTUBE

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SCP-5053: "Anything but a stick in the mud" by Marcelles_Raynes

YOUTUBE

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SCP-5608: "The Delectable Taste of Cognition" by me, Doctor Fullham

YOUTUBE

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SCP-5798: "Interview with the Drain Snake" by J Dune

YOUTUBE

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SCP-5990: "Out of my head, out of my mind" by Lt Flops

YOUTUBE

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SCP-6292: "Don't Beer the Reaper" by JakdragonX and Ralliston

YOUTUBE

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SCP-6791: "The Protagonist" by LittleFieryOne

YOUTUBE

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SCP-6919: "The Insistence of Memory" by Agisuru

YOUTUBE

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"Back to Your Irregularly Scheduled Programming" by Kensing

YOUTUBE

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Funny Flippant Fullham Facts and Features!

Name: Dr. Henry James Alexander Fullham

Gender/Sex: Male/Male

Featured in:

The Broken Rose, both a name mention and did the voice acting for Director Bold.

Problem?, as the researcher in the audio log.

The Vikander-Kneed Technical Media Hub, as the welcome voice.

Hahahaha I can't believe you scrolled down this far and there's nothing here GET REKT