The Based God

- THE RIGHT HONOURABLE -

DJKAKTUS
AUTHOR / ARTIST / VISIONARY
VOTED WIKI'S MOST HUMBLE MAN¹
Vote Wiki's Most Humble Patreon, Too!

---

Ranked #1 Overall by Total Rating
CROM | SCPPER.COM

---

Thirteen SCPs or Tales Rated Over +1000
SCP-049 | SCP-2316 | SCP-3000 | SCP-1730
SCP-2935 | SCP-3930 | SCP-049-J | SCP-001-TGK | SCP-001-DJK3
SCP-2399 | Fear Alone | SCP-4444 | SCP-3812

---

Winner of the SCP-3000 Contest
w/ ARD & Joreth
SCP-3000 - ANANTASHESHA

---

Winner of the MTF Contest 2016
w/ Lurkd, Cimmerian
TEAM BASIC

---

SCP-4000 Contest Runner-Up
SCP-4444 - BUSH V. GORE

---

SCP-6000 Contest Runner-Up
SCP-6666 - THE DEMON HECTOR AND THE DREAD TITANIA

---

SCP-8000 Contest Third Place
SCP-8001 - THE EDGE OF THE WORLD

---

Dystopia Contest 2014 Third Place
STARCH AND CREAM

---

GOI Contest 2014 Sixth Place
w/ Soulless, Faminepulse
CONSTELLATION STARFISH

---

SCP-5000 Contest 11th Place
SCP-5004 - MEGALOMANIA

                                       

ARTICLES

---

SCP-2812		Echoes of Yesterday

SCP-2399		A Malfunctioning Destroyer

SCP-2980		Devil's Nightlight

SCP-2598		Traveling Moth Salesman

SCP-1994		Rot

SCP-1781		The Moonlight Theater (w/ kinchtheknifeblade)

SCP-2464		Suspension

SCP-2996		ERROR / ERROR

SCP-2120		Damage Control

SCP-1864		The Lonely Liar

SCP-2540		Time Lime

SCP-1160		Effective Containment

SCP-001-DJK1		The Children

SCP-2932		Titania's Prison

SCP-2445		Wondertainment Logistics

SCP-2090		Potentially XK Tim Duncan

SCP-2670		Somebody Else's God

SCP-2740		It Wasn't There

SCP-715		My Face That I May Be (rewritten from agatharights)

SCP-2271		Factory Loans

SCP-2875		The Town That Got Fucked By Bears

SCP-2151		The Ties That Bind Us

SCP-2846		The Squid and the Sailor

SCP-1730		What Happened to Site-13?

SCP-2844		Gary of the Paperclips

SCP-7143-J		THE KNOB [SFW?]

SCP-2776		Mr. President

SCP-2933		Mr. Scary

SCP-2610		Procreation

SCP-527		Mr. Fish

SCP-2270		An Unnecessary Utilization of Excessive Force

SCP-2316		Field Trip

SCP-2818		A Gun That Shoots People

SCP-2522 🥇		hatbot.aic

SCP-001-TGK		The Broken God (w/ TwistedGears)

SCP-2935		O, Death

SCP-2951		10,000 Years

SCP-3000🥇		Anantashesha (w/ A Random Day / Joreth)

SCP-001-CK-J		The Broke God (w/ Doctor Cimmerian)

SCP-damej-J		damej robit (w/ Decibelles / faminepulse)

SCP-3301		THE FOUNDATION

SCP-2576		Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Goat

SCP-80s-J		Strangerer Things

SCP-3740		God is Dumb

SCP-3935		This Thing a Quiet Madness Made

SCP-049-J		The Plague Fellow

SCP-3812		A Voice Behind Me

SCP-3355		St. Nick

SCP-3813		The Fall of Hyperion (w/ Doctor Cimmerian / Zhange / VolgunStrife)

SCP-3930		The Pattern Screamer

SCP-3785		Jasper's Hill

SCP-3521		forced banana equivalent dose by dado

SCP-3929		boner pill by dado

SCP-3208		YKHN (w/ Doctor Cimmerian)

SCP-3693		Postscript - Through A Glass, Darkly (w/ The Great Hippo)

SCP-049		The Plague Doctor (w/ Gabriel Jade)

SCP-3494		waste management by dado

SCP-001-DJK2		Atonement

SCP-2254		The Demon La Hire and the Valley of Lust [♥️]

SCP-3790		Department of Abnormalities (w/ Croquembouche)

SCP-3293		You Can't Go Home (w/ Joreth)

SCP-3625		The Great American Meme Machine

SCP-2398		Home Run Bat

SCP-4444🥈		Bush v. Gore

SCP-4000-J		Taboo 2: Tabooer

MZL-1730		What Happened to Site-19?

SCP-4812		Wrath

SCP-001-DJK3		The Way It Ends

SCP-4760		An Eye for an Eye

SCP-4935		Hereafter

SCP-4840		The Demon Lancelot and the Flying City of Audapaupadopolis [♣️]

SCP-4173		The House on Hadley Hill

SCP-4498		The Plurality of Elias Shaw

SCP-001-DJK-J		RUMBLY IN ITS TUMBLY

SCP-4548		The Hateful Star

SCP-4390		A Bad Maze

SCP-4595		WITCH

SCP-4489		Apologies (rewritten from Kain Pathos Crow)

SCP-4176		taxes (w/ Uncle Nicolini)

SCP-4971		Rituals

SCP-4485		Such Black Light (w/ Woedenaz)

SCP-4643		The Wheel of Fire

SCP-4941		Forever Yours

SCP-4654		angels by dado

SCP-4864		Depravity and Indifference (rewritten from Cchaos)

SCP-5004		MEGALOMANIA

SCP-5935		Blood and the Breaking of My Heart

SCP-5740		all cop are buddy by dado

SCP-6666🥈		The Demon Hector and the Dread Titania [♦️]

SCP-6740		Our Shared Grave

SCP-6745		Seasonal Menu

SCP-6162		The Wormhole

SCP-6765		The Demon Ogier and the Bleeding Throne of Malidraug [♠️]

SCP-7450		L is for Lamentations

SCP-7670		The Light That Blinds

SCP-8001		The Edge of the World

SCP-8833		1976

SCP-8935		Tokophobia: The Virgin Birth

SCP-001-YTK		Yoshihide's Proposal

SCP-8947		Fault

TALES

---

Track 1: Old Chilly the Space Trucker		Constellation Starfish

Track 2: The Book of Dave		Constellation Starfish

The Surfside Beat		Constellation Starfish

The Face of God		Constellation Starfish

Track 4: You and Me		Constellation Starfish

Siren's Song		Constellation Starfish (w/ faminepulse / SoullessSingularity)

Three Farewells		Those Twisted Pines (w/ Jacob Conwell / TwistedGears)

Fourth and Long		Gloriana Alexylva

Postgame		Gloriana Alexylva

Fear Alone		Tale

Starch and Cream🥉		Tale

Reconciliation		December 24th, 2011

Integrity Project		Resurrection

Hugo Hijinks		Learning The Alphabet

Additional Resources		Resurrection (w/ LurkD)

Folly		Resurrection

A Site-19 Christmas Carol		Tale

The Last Good Man In The Foundation		Tale

Secure Facility Dossier: Site-81		Dossier

Atzak I		Atzak

Atzak II		Atzak

Coach Panagakos Eldest and Most Revered		Gloriana Alexylva

(The Engine of A Film)/(The Fine Game of Nil)		lolFoundation (w/ LordStonefish)

The Unforgiving Gridiron		Gloriana Alexylva

If You Are Reading This...		Tale (w/ Jacob Conwell / Zyn / Decibelles)

Anima Ex Machina		Gloriana Alexylva

Atzak III		Atzak

Dusk		Darkbody

To Never Again See the Light of Day		Tale

Smoke		Tale

Moonrise		Darkbody

the antihero by dado		Original Character Tournament

strange man on phone interrupt hamster holiday by dado		Original Character Tournament

Conviction		Tale

Inn-troductions, or The Journey Begins		Tale

Classification Committee Memo		Essay

Site-81 Community Cookbook		Tale

The Four Arcana		Rat's Nest

The Trail For Beasts		Yoshihide's Proposal

OTHER

---

Gloriana Alexylva Hub		Hub Page

Atzak Hub		Hub Page

KaktusKast Hub		Hub Page

SCPFMMDBC Hub		Hub Page

page what is for dado hub yes		hub page

Ouroboros		Hub Page

Project PARAGON		Hub Page

---

---

How To Sell Out

once upon a midnight dreary
sat up i at keyboard, weary,
seeking for the words to type
to fill an empty page

when yonder off a light did shineth
down upon my hands, and i with
fearful apprehension did
stand to see what it was

there - a specter standing stiffly
hand upon a button, this he
gestured to with graceful purpose
as mine eyes did grow

"see here kaktus," he proclaimeth
"words alone your purpose ain'teth,
sometimes glitz and glamour bring you
closer to your goal."

aback was I abruptly taken
had this figure now forsaken
every lesson learned by artists
all around the world?

"no!" screamed I with tepid whisper
"art is pure and you'd dismiss her?"
laughter from the figure as he
sat me at my desk

"save your simple needless whinging
I have heard enough to now bring
ever-needed wisdom to you
here within your home"

"words alone won't fill your belly
nor will platitudes - so let me
show you now the UPVOTE
and the power there within"

I, aghast, yet he continued,
"tell the people you intend to
wow them with your epics and they
won't notice your faults"

"yes I know you might ignore them
but believe me - I've grown sore from
seeing you say 'massive creature'
every single time"

"show them something captivating,
no one cares if its creating
lasting artistry on this, a
b-list horror site"

"and, with eyes wide they will poke
the top right button - that's the token
for your rise to fame and - well
not fortune, that's for sure"

"but you'll find something close to joy
when every little girl and boy sings
'djkaktus posted!' on their
mom and dad's PC"

"it might not satisfy your soul
but fuck that - honestly, the hole
inside your heart can be filled
just as easily with votes"

so sat I in wonder
at these words that left me sundered
this dark truth of marketing - for fucks sake
hanging in the air

but as the figure faded
and I opened a page, jaded
I'll admit the first thing written
by me started, "u trust dado"

and it may not be rewarding
but the perks are that you won't be
caught up in the trepidation
of your soul at #1 :)

Important Disclaimer

Hello everyone. This is djkaktus in 2025. Due to recent events I am writing to you here with the intention of making myself abundantly clear about my hopes and dreams for the long-term outlook of my contributions to the wiki. I have attempted to try and keep this brief and will use a bulleted list to summarize:

• I am djkaktus, being of sound mind and spirit.
• Everything contributed to the SCP Foundation Wiki by this account was written by me, or in collaboration with me.
• I view my contributions to the wiki as an extension of my purpose in this life, of which I can speculate is the only life I am going to be afforded.
• As a result, I see their long-term persistence as nothing short of sacrosanct. These are elements of my soul that will with any luck outlive me. I hope this is the case.
• In order to ensure their continued well-being, I will endeavor to not take any action that would compel the wiki staff and userbase to engage in d i s c o u r s e regarding the removal of those articles.
• Similarly, I hereby maintain that I will under no circumstance ever intentionally remove my articles from the wiki (though I reserve the right to meme about this whenever some dumb staff fuck does something stupid).
• In the event I ever move to take action to remove any of my articles from the wiki for reasons other than stated quality concerns, especially if I look to be moving to mass remove my contributions to the wiki, I permit staff to ban this account for as long as it takes to figure out what the fuck I'm doing.
• If I can't explain what the fuck I'm doing, assume my account has been compromised and maintain the ban indefinitely.
• If I can explain what the fuck I'm doing, assume I have had a stroke and maintain the ban indefinitely.

I sincerely appreciate your patience and understanding.

Thank you!

WORKBENCH | SANDBOX | KAKTUSKAST

Footnotes

1. In a poll of djkaktuses