Diogene_s disambiguation

Not the real Diogenes. Not even the real fake Diogenes.

This is the author page for the scp wiki user known as Diogene_s, for other uses, see the actual Diogenes (disambiguation)

Diogene_s

They drew him with the titty out.

Definition of Diogene_s

Diogene_s (/daɪˈɒdʒɪniːz/ dy-OJ-in-eez; in whatever language you choose to use), also known as Dio or "penguin", is an artist and writer for the SCP Wiki. Other names with which people have referred to them have been "Dio", "Diogenes", "Multiverse map guy",¹ "penguin" and "throwing you in the microwave". They were born in Spain in 412 or 404 BC and died yesterday in mysterious and unexplained circumstances.

Their presence in the community has been a relatively short one, with their first post being on the 20th of July of 2023. Contrary to popular belief, some of their writing still survives in the Wiki in some way, shape or form². And according to some sources, they can be seen hanging around in 19cord, Metafoundation and the Canonexus discord servers. But never the forums, because, and according to their own words, "they don't want to repeat that one incident with the Agora and all that good shit". They are, allegedly, a junior member of the tagging team. Three investigators were sent to see if this was true. They uncovered whatever this shit is.

On numerous occasions, they have expressed an interest in history, art, art history, philosophy³, penguins, trains, listening to as much music as possible, speculative fiction, not having a defined gender, eating the rich, causing a second Bronze Age Collapse and literature. They're also one of the three confessed primary catalan speakers in the wiki (according to the 2023 site survey) and they will make it your problem.

Work

Diogene_s has written a small amount of works alone for this wiki, and they're listed below:

SCP-9993 - Here from Then

Written for the SCP-9000 contest!

SCP-2669 - Professional Deformation

Horns and Strings

SCP-7532 - Stigmata

All Quiet in the Wall Street Front

Written for the International Canon Contest!

SCP-7611 - Here I dreamt I was an architect.

Art Exchange gift for Aftokrator!

My Name Is No-One

Written for Public Domain Con!

SCP-8723 - Boc de Biterna

Recountings from the War of the Dragons as collected by Wandermen Petyr

We can't stay here anymore

VNP-7864 - These are the things that I never would learn.

SCP-8085 - It has always been natural.

The Loathsome Regime

Diogene_s disambiguation

Reception and Critique towards Diogene_s

The overall reaction to Diogene_s is that they should work more in their dialogue, and pacing, and descriptions, and stop doing so many typos and being better at playing video games. It is also a general consensus that they should stop telling people to "go to sleep" because "sleep is good" and should also stop reacting with the words "good shit" to any meaningless development in a conversation.

Quotes

Here is what people have had to say about this person.⁴ If you want a quote, just ping me in 19cord or metaf or canonexus or wherever and me and my council of quote-reviewers will review it. Or you can just leave it yourself here. I'm not the quote police:

"Dio is everyone's favorite Spanish Penguin, or as we say in the business, 'Pingüino'" - Uncle Nicolini while looking at the penguins in the nearest zoo.
"Picking my nose at the club slipping boogers into unattended cups" - TroutMaskReplica. That's disgusting. We at Wikipedia do not endorse this kind of behaviour.
"ha ha I got first quote" - ParallelPotatoes who ran a marathon to get here and get the first quote. They didn't get it, but we appreciate their effort.
«I've got a quote for you: "Don't quote me on this."» - Cathy Autumn who then proceeded to turn green, magenta, grey and exploded in a puff of spiders.
"wiki user Diogene_s (not to be confused with wiki user diogenes) is cool" - Merehrab why do people keep bringing up the other guy who I definitely did not murder with a pool noodle?
"Disambiguates you" - IndustryStandard AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH⁵⁶
"I plead the fifth" - J_V_G who isn't even American, and as far as I (an anonymous editor) know, those damn british twats do not have our goddamn rights and guns and constitution and this guy wants to take it from us and take our identity? I say no. NO. GOD BLESS AMERICAAARGH.
"Dio I swear to god when I find you I will salt your shoes so any land you walk on withers and fucking dies. You will become a plague on the land and it'll all be because of me. I will fill your pockets with locusts and dye your rivers red. You will become an outcast and so help me god I will make it so that anytime a kid looks at you their parents avert their gaze. Fuck you.

With love,
Pal <3" - ProblemPal who thinks she's special just because she has the longest quote in this page as of 25/10/2025. Massive L. Also, does anyone know what the fuck is up with the sun and why is it blackened, now?
"Hedvig" - Miss Lapis who we think is collecting "Hedvig" quotes in as many author pages as possible.
"I am… The Spot." - Shuso who's the Spot. Or maybe a path through Antarctica.
"I'll think of something" - Aftokrator while committing six simultaneous grave breaches of the Geneva Convention.
"We’ll miss you champ. Can’t believe the 23 penguins got to you." - DoctorLilithSophia who wants to pin the murder in some poor helpless animals. If you ask me, I think she's hiding something.
"what?" - psychicprogrammer who also clarified that no LLMs were used to write this statement.
"another one for the nightmare blunt rotation, boys" - Dino--Draws do not consume drugs kids. You'll get targeted by an evil entity from beyond human comprehension and loose your identity.
"Hi, this is my guest appearance" - Ethagon, appearing with great fanfarre and breaking the 4th wall.
"Hedvig <3" - Miss Lapis who loves Hedvig!⁷
*flexes rhetorically* - torcsandantlers who is trying to win an argument by roleplaying as Plato⁸
“You thought this would be a normal author page quote, but it was me, Dio!” - MisterFrown who doesn't know that I haven't watched Jojo's bizarre adventure.
"But truly, if I were not BAD_DATA, I wish I were Diogene_s" - BAD_DATA, becoming my third homunculus this week.
"-1, no philosophical messaging. I expected more from Diogenes." - YardBirdMe who surprised everyone by not referencing the number five.
"Who are you why are you in my house, what's an es-see-pee wickee" - pab07 from that one time diogene_s was nearly murdered by a cleaver wielding freak.
"This guy… is like an owl" - VapidPoem pointing at an owl that just stole its sandwich and its wallet.
"Make up a quote from me" - HaydenSaintPascal barreling down this one train line with a pencil on one hand and the hopes, dreams of the peoples from the stars on another and the third eye wide open.
"Ok now do it again." - HaydenSaintPascal while the train crashes.
"Aren't you that guy that threw a featherless chicken at my pal plato?" - Yossipossi no, that would be intertemporal identity theft and it's frowned in most times and places that respect themselves.
"Here's a quote for ya, Giodens_e" - AwhRyan who will suffer a terrible fate for this.
"uh. my brain is currently fried from doing statics assignements and listening to nirvana for 6 hours straight" - Ralliston who then offered is brain to the hungry masses.
"Teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for a day. Give a man a fish, he’ll beat you with it and take your wallet. Many such cases" - esther619 while rain pours. It is raining. And it won't stop. It will never stop. The water rises and you are trapped here. There's no escape. The water rises.
"a penguin penguin burst through my wall coolaid man style speaking spanish i think, they pointed a mic at me and forced me to give an interview" - LittlePengwy and we implore him to be abit more original next time with this statement, please. Everyone already knows about our interviewing methods, there's no need to repeat them in the interview itself.
“He’s just a little guy and I’d trust him with my bank account information. Just look at that art!!! Little guy behavior⁹” - Dino--Draws because everyone thinks diogene-s is very very short. Must be the fact that they associate themselves with small birds and shit. What a loser. They're not even an ornitologist.
"Probably cool. Wish I'd been alive at the same time as them." - Lemonsense who definitely didn't murder this author with a contraption that included a pulley system, a polearm, a car speeding down a highway, three dying squirrels, and shooting their head with a sawed-off shotgun.
"Wish i had something for the quotes page" - Guaire who then proceeded to run through the streets while riding a giant rodent fed exclusively with plates of pulpo á feira.
"locked me into a microwave for 30 hours once and broiled me until i promised to read 8kdr. ngl I kind of get it now." - Intercedent and this isn't even my favourite type of radiation! (also, Ralliston, please pay me for my advertisement)
"You are the reason I'm melting the ice caps." - winkwonkboi, while going around with a flamethrower in the South Pole.
"All hail Grand Monarch diogene_s, Second of Their Name, Tagger Supreme, Master Critter of the MetaF Kingdom, High Artist and Writer of the Fourth Circle, Obscurer of Genders and All Around Awesome Human Being. Long may they reign!" - UNCGriffin who didn't get the memo about how we're all pretty anti-monarchy in this joint.
"That's too many quotes" - Diogene_s, who's tired after copy-pasting all of these.
"I mean they're alive, so that's a plus." - Spacestealth who came in late with factually wrong information fact-checked by real and true patriots.

Badges acquired

Recommendations

Throughout its long life, Diogene_s read, watched and listened to many things. Here is a list of things they recommended in their last messages before they were crushed by a rock at the ripe age of six weeks old.

Recs of wiki stuff

Name of level	Name of canon
Literally peak	From 120's Archives, On Guard 43, S&C Plastics, Lampeter, Site 17 Deepwell catalogue, No Return.
Kino	Orcadia, AIAD, Our Open Veins, Fading Stars, SIMULACRUM, Resurrection, Man who wasn't there, Resurrection, Third Law, Those Twisted Pines, War on all fronts, Nightfall, Sharkest Timeline, Doctors of the church,¹¹ Trashfire and Cool War 2
They're there	Broken Masquerade, Coldest War, End of Death, Insect Hell, But a Dream
Not a big fan	Straight on till morning, Dread and circuses, In Memoria Adytum, Unfounded, Unhuman, Competitive Escathology, lolfoundation, green king, daybreak, bellerverse, old man and the sea and Aces & 8s.
I'm an ignorant bitch who hasn't read these	Forgotten Memories, Ninth World, Pitch Haven, Wonderful World, bottledick, mount golgotha, only game in town.

Other recs

Congrats, you found my secret headcanons collapsible.

Prometheus Labs has a big "tales from the loop" style facility in the svalbard isles
- In this facility, they have the "Haussman Anomaly" (from the Haussman family from Frida Haussman from Manhattan Crisis, New York Minute) which is some sort of heavily guarded wormhole that is responsible for their monopoly of demonics and constructed intelligences
- This plabs place was occupied by the Foundation after plabs fell and they put Area-11 (seen in SCP-7611) on top of it.
The Foundation created a dependance on amnestics and now is the primary seller to both the GOC and all the government normalcy orgs, assuring its reign over the veil.
In 1952 there was a secret war with an alternate Earth fought by the GOC.
The Founfation did the same in 1898, when an advanced alt universe with tripods but without microbies came to baseline Earth.
There's an infinitely complex theological and afterlife ecosystem. The Foundation doesn't know wtf is going on with it.
- Hell is obviously real (I like Undervegas) (and also 5572), and so is Corbenic, and so is 6435, 5345 and the 7179 place and people get sent to these places willy nilly.
- Heaven is an extradimensional afterlife where everything is catedral-like halls of marble and there are Empyrean beings going around doing bullshit. But it's mostly empty and boring. It isn't a place for the righteous or anything. It simply exists. And sometimes people get sent there in the afterlife.
- Also sometimes people don't get sent anywhere in any afterlife. They just die and that's it. Sometimes people get sent to two afterlifes.
- I don't headcanon 2718.
Aliens are so impressed with the pyramids that they try to take credit for them. But in truth they never had anything to do with them.
- Even though there were no aliens nor anything anomalous involved in building any pyramids (except bass pro shop), there was, however lots of anomalous shit going on with Akhenaten and Ramses II.
There's way more than 7 occult wars.
The 3moons initiative is engaged in a war with hell (and other afterlifes) and tries to steal important people's souls from other afterlifes.
Things like astrology and tarot cards hold a small amount of thaumaturgic power, but humans in the veil don't know how to exploit it.
The Stephen Hawking party was a plot by the US pentagram to catch time travelers. They were then billed hefty fines, aiding to maintain the pentagram's budget. Most of them where then stripped of their modifications and sent to Paramax. The rest were put on a secret time-traveling pentagram task force that was wiped out by the secret time-traveling CI task force.
everything is canon
Disney, as a member of the GOC, has an army of SCP-8060 style toons and SCP-6690 muppets. It is also the guy who primarily destroys media anomalies in the GOC.
Tommy Wiseau is actually totleighsoft
Spain has a less than average level of anomalies per capita.
Site-137 is the second biggest site in the Iberian Peninsula (the first one being Site-34, of course).
Vampire mobsters are real and they're coming for you.
Complete loss of identity is something that can happen at any point, mostly as a fundamental underlying anomalous law of physics or something like that. Like, anyone can at any point become a "Nobody". But deities tend to cause "Nobodyness" because it's easier to fill a Nobody with purpose than it is to fill a normal guy.
There's a bunch of kaijus sleeping under the Earth. The crocosquid is of course one of them, but not the only one.
The Foundation's Department of Philosophy is underfunded and overfunded and nobody knows what they do. But the Ethics Committee loves them.
The god of tight spaces is called Grghkl.
There's two Sophia Lights. The first Sophia Light is Sofía María de Jesús Luz, Grand Master of the Knights of the Military Order of Borja y Aragón and apparently the second coming of Jesus Christ (in truth, she just suffers empathic trauma which manifests as stigmata in her body and then she gets indoctrinated by these knights to believe that she's Jesus. See SCP-7532 by yours truly) who goes on to be one of the founders of the Foundation and get encased in a computer to become O5-2 "The archivist" (this is due to unfortunate canonwelding, but who cares, this is what I do). The second Sophia Light is a clone? a somatic backup? a temporal isolate? of the original Sofia Luz. She eventually becomes one of the favourite pet projects of the O5 Council, later spearheading the whole Resurrection business.
- Same goes for Judith Low and probably Maria Jones. The council surely loves women in positions of power getting cloned for some reason.
Mummies being eaten was a ploy by the HMFSCP and other orgs of the time because they were scared that they would come back to life and destroy the world.
Mechs are dangerous, both for the pilot and everyone around them. For the GOC and their orange suits, it's alright if they are dangerous for everyone around, but the pilot is important to them. Sadly, when you are being janked around at 10g by a six ton machine of pure death, it's very usual to have your body become paste or break half of your bones. Thus, ICSUT came to a very elegant solution: your body can't become paste if you are already paste. So, with the help of subcontracted Order of the White Worm karcists and a bunch of alchemists, they developed a spell which turns pilots into sentient liquid before putting them inside the orange suit cockpit. This, of course, has consequences on the body and self perception of the mech pilot. But that's a good and fair trade.
There's a whole-ass sub veil economy and it's too weird to fully conceptualize.
Zombie outbreaks are a dime a dozen as any ICSUT undergraduateo necromancer can and will cause a small zombie apocalypse in a small town if given the chance. There's also 008 and like half a dozen other ways to create a zombie. So the GOC and the Foundation and whoever else tend to send their soldeirs agains low tier liches, voodoo witches and crazy scientists in isolated towns as a way to train them.
- The World Parahealth Organization has a division entirely dedicated to hunting down pathogenic zombie, vampiric and werewolf outbreaks. Basically wholeass vampire hunters.
- Victor Frankenstein was real but everyone in the anomalous community considers him a joke because:
  - 1. Any necromancer can do that but better.
  - 2. Any alchemist can do that but better with homunculi.
  - 3. Any kabbalist can do that but better with golems.
  - His only achievement is stitching corpses together.
The 1950s and 60s were full of campy spy shit going on. The Foundation couldn't deal with it because they were in the middle of the panopticon crisis.
Delta-T has at least one advanced dinosaur working for them. And one Paranthropus.
There are infinite time wars going on at any single point in time. One isbeing fought by hyperadvanced ants. The other by the spiders from SCP-6600.
If humans conceptualize the Multiverse as a tree, it's because we are monkeys. The spiders from 6600 consider it a web, and fish people see it as coral, probably. It's a timey whimey web of bullshit. The Serpent is there.
You can find anything in the Wanderers' Library.
There's like a worldwide Coven of witches with Baba Yaga, Granny Rat Tail, Eulalia Barraquer, one rotating BQ and a couple more. They meat once a year to ahve a chat and drink tea.
Neither the Foundation nor GOC are particularly active in the third world because they know their asses are hated there. (stolen from ubergoober)
- But CALMECAC is probably a member of the GOC, and the GOC does have strike teams going around beating the shit out of people.
- SCP-8718 is also real and exists, so the GOC tried to get the S3A to join. Still unsure of if they join or not.
- GRU-P was a member (founding one at that) of the GOC for a while, and so was ORIA. Until the GRU disappeared and ORIA left.
- IJAMEA was never a member.
- The Foundation and the GOC do try to put or take out dictators in places. They've been foiled by the three moons crab satellite before, tho.
Area-11 is the primary manufacturing area of the Foundation.
SCP-990 is the superimposed consciousness of the Administrator unto the Foundation's very own section of the dream realm, oniric expanse and/or noosphere. It also might just be Delta-T cryptically advising random people through Project Morpheus.
The nuclear tests during the Cold War were actually liquidations of Level-5 parathreats by the US and USSR on behalf of the GOC. (stolen from ubergoober)
The HI disbands at some point. What remains is fundamentalist christian terrorists, fringe cults, deeply zionist members who join the Yeda' Zoher and small pockets of muslim paranormalcy corps.
The UIU has both the guys that look like X Files guys and the wizard police.
PANGEA is just normal policemen that deal with the anomalous.
There's at least one global vampire organization. And they probably work through MC&D selling vampirism to the elites as a way to achieve immortality.
The voynich manuscript genuinely describes stuff from a lost continent or extradimensional space. The SCP Foundation will never find it. It might have been written by Mandeville.
There is a conceptual sea called "The Waterless Sea". It's some sort of extradimensional space that conceptually collides with all the bodies of water in the Earth (and maybe beyond, who knows) that is used by some anomalous agents to sail from one place to another. It's black and white. There's pirates in it, and fae megastructures from when Queen Mab tried to conquer it.

(All of these are unstated anywhere in the wiki, but I will mention them as background details in my things if i can.)

Love life

Diogene_s had an affair with your mom and broke her heart. Sorry not sorry.

‡ Licensing / Citation

Footnotes

_cc _licensebox author

page revision: 52, last edited: 25 Oct 2025 10:50

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