Dining Out
rating: +63+x

Four mobile task force field agents sat around a table, enjoying their drinks as they waited in plain clothes for their food to arrive. Its not every day that a new restaurant opens on a high street, nevermind one that has reportedly also opened in Backdoor Soho, Three Portlands, and numerous other extradimensional cities over the last two weeks. The place had opened to celebrate the season, with orange banners proclaiming that everything was on sale for the grand opening.

Agent Ryans swirled his lukewarm coffee in its cup, and ran through his mission in his head. His order of a tomato and orange pepper risotto was to be inspected for anomalous properties, and then turned over to the foundation for any further actions. If nothing was found, then he would have a satisfying lunch.

Specialist Watson poured her third cup of tea, having arrived first of the group. She had chosen the 'Fuming Mushroom Stew' from the thematically spooky menu, and would be watching for evidence of thaumaturgy in her and her colleagues meals as she ate.

Tactical Agents Price and Stewart took turns dealing cards for each other, betting from a bowl of chips that Price knew he would win the majority of. They had the easiest job of all, protecting two undercover agents over the period of a lunch that would almost certainly result in no issues at all.

After another few minutes (and a fourth cup of tea on Watson's part) an overworked waiter finally brought their meals to them, each lavishly decorated with unidentifiable- but probably mundane -chopped green herbs, and an experimental bite of Stewart's pizza confirmed that it was well made, but not unusually so. Price lost the last handful of chips, and focused on observing the other patrons of the restaurant to distract himself.

"Anything amiss?" He asked his charges, momentarily distracting both Ryans and Watson from their covert scans.

"Not as far as I can tell." Ryans looked up from his risotto, anomaly scan left half finished. He smiled wryly. "Everything's a hit so far."

Agent Nathan Ryans was summarily murdered by his meal.

The restaurant fell silent, its numerous patrons unable to comprehend the situation as pieces of brain tomato scattered about the walls, ceiling, and most of their meals. The three remaining agents of MTF Lambda-14 stood to attention, two of whom immediately reached for their hidden radios.

"Confirmed presence of uncontained ess-see-pee objects-" Stewart started, spitting out half eaten pepperoni and cheese.

"-Requesting additional support," Price finished for him, drawing his gun and making his way towards the kitchen. Thick steel shutters descended over the windows and external door, sealing off the escape of the now panicking customers, and the salvation of support that was descending on the building.

Specialist Watson had been pushed under the table, and was busy plucking chunks of her coworker's head from her clothes. Once relatively cleaned, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the traces of magical aura surrounding them, trails of waiters and diners alike. She opened her eyes in a flash, something in the back of the kitchen catching her eye, and made to stand up just as the front door was blown in, and the One Star Reviewers of Lambda-14 flooded into the restaurant proper.

They were met with a hail of teeth and cooking implements as they joined Price at the kitchen door. The rabid staff inside hurled themselves into the waiting bullets of the task force, seeming to hardly notice as they were ripped to shreds, caring only that they took as many with them as they could.

"Get us in there!" Watson instructed the nearest agent, dragging Stewart with her towards the diminishing throng of fighting. Together, they broke through the breach, and into the disorganised chaos of the kitchen proper, armed companions taking the lead and capturing any who they saw, and killing any who resisted.

The kitchen surfaces were covered in jars and pots of all sizes, a brass jar filled with some orange liquid, a sack of malformed potatoes, a bowl of pink bonbons and colourful gumballs, and unidentifiable vegetables that had grown in shapes and colours not thought to be possible. Watson dragged Stewart past these, and the mangled corpse of agent Richard Price.

Against the advice of the containment team securing the restaurant floor, the two agents followed the faint trail of energy through a thick oak door, and into a dusty back room of identical doors.

"These are Ways," Watson informed her partner, grasping the handle of the door in front of her. "I can't tell where they lead."

She turned the handle, and allowed Stewart to carefully inspect its interior.

"Identical to this room. Check the other doors." He closed the Way, and turned to the others. Each one held the same interior, even though Stewart was positive that they lead far beyond the exterior walls.

Eventually, they had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of the doors lead to identical rooms, and were now stood before the original door, debating if they should proceed through. Stewart passed through the door, feeling the unfamiliar chill of briefly leaving reality. He stood in wait for Watson, and listened carefully for any other sounds.

"We're definitely not in Kansas anymore," Watson muttered as she joined him, immediately regretting her choice of words as she recalled the event that started this whole mess. No red fruit came for her however, and she breathed a sigh of relief as she gestured for Stewart to continue with the search.

The door cracked open, dust billowing behind it, as Stewart stepped onto black and white tiling once again. Chefs and their assistants turned with surprise and anger upon their faces, their seasonal cooking well and truly disturbed by these interlopers. They soon had weapons in their hands, and were soon upon the two agents with guttural shouts. Watson cried out as Stewart shoved her back towards their entrance.

"Get back, I'll keep 'em busy. Tell the others what we've found!" Stewart called back without looking, his gun thundering again and again, until it clicked empty. He threw it aside, and replaced it with a fallen oversized tenderiser. He was still cracking heads when Watson slammed the door between worlds shut, and broke its frame with a kick. Energy whipped and cracked through the room as the Way was forcefully shut forever. Hopefully forever.

She left the back room in a stumbling run, finding the first people she could to tell them that Kiaran Stewart was most likely dead. If nothing else, he was trapped in an unknown reality with a very angry restaurant. Watson solemnly made a haphazard path to her table, and took her things to leave.


On 31/10/20██ four agents of MTF Lambda-14 ("One Star Reviewers") were dispatched to a newly opened restaurant in ████████ city, which was suspected of anomalous activity.

These agents were:

  • Agent Nathan Ryans (DECEASED)
  • Agent Richard Price (DECEASED)
  • Agent Kiaran Stewart (DECEASED)
  • Specialist Rhianne Watson, Thaumaturgy expert

Of these four agents, only Specialist Watson survived, having followed a thaumic energy trace to multiple inter-planar doorways (which have since ceased function) with Agent Stewart.

Agents were successful in identifying multiple anomalies, including uncontained instances of SCP-504, SCP-1176, SCP-1200, SCP-1600, SCP-████ and frozen eggs of SCP-1325

Containment teams secured the location ("The Ambrose Restaurant") suffering █ fatalities and ██ injuries.

Involvement of further SCP objects is under investigation, notably SCP-1921, as behavior of encountered opposition mirrored that of those affected by this SCP.

Registration of Ambrose Restaurant chain as a Group of Interest is pending approval.

MTF Lambda-14 has been reassigned to investigate and contain all Ambrose Restaurant establishments and associated Persons of Interest.

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