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(-3)Article: DDD-2034 - Destroy, Destroy, Destroy
Author:
BattleblockB0ss
Feedback given by:
Meserach,
Nethermoose01,
masterjax1920
Image Credits:
"Mushroom Cloud", by lorc, released under Creative Commons 3.0 BY
"Baby Face", by delapuoite, released under Creative Commons 3.0 BY
"Hammer Break", by delapouite, released under Creative Commons 3.0 BY
"Screen Impact", by lorc, released under Creative Commons 3.0 BY
Image of DDD-2034 has been destroyed
Designated Destruction Directives:
DDD-2034 is to be placed on the ground in Destruction Room 4A and be struck repeatedly with Designated Destructive Device #0214 (colloquially referred to as a carpenter's hammer) until it breaks.
After 15 consecutive hits, DDD-2034 did not break, necessitating Demolition Expert Anna Harlow purchase a Designated Destructive Device #1395 (colloquially referred to as a sledgehammer) from Home Depot. Object will be struck repeatedly with device until it breaks.
After 7 consecutive hits, DDD-2034 did not break. Demolition Expert Harlow requested that testing with Designated Destructive Device #1395 be halted, stating "My arms are getting tired. Can't we just blow it up or something?" After deliberation, DDD-2034 has been placed in a chamber with several plastic explosives, which were subsequently set off. Item has been successfully destroyed.
Following standard procedure, Designated Destructive Devices #0214, #1395, and Demolition Expert Harlow have been successfully destroyed by the use of Designated Destructive Device #8372 (colloquially referred to as an incinerator). Destruction Room 4A was fortunately destroyed as well in an unrelated incident.
Description: DDD-2034 was (probably) a thing that was (probably) anomalous. Further information had been gathered but was destroyed. Based on the destructive noises heard from Destruction Room 4A, Demolition Experts have theorized DDD-2034 was roughly the size of a watermelon and constructed of something hard and metallic. These reports are unconfirmed, as the associated interview logs have been destroyed.
DDD-2034 was discovered last week by Direct Destruction Duo Delta-14 ("Double Trouble") while destroying DDD-6045. Attached is a video/audio log transcription of discovery. Original video/audio recordings have been destroyed.
Assorted violent noises can be heard. Item being destroyed seems to be composed of glass or a similar material. Documentation of DDD-6045 has since been destroyed, but it was probably anomalous.
Deputy Marshall: Well, I'd say this is taken care of. Time to head back?
Deputy Stevenson: Sure, let me just- wait, what's that?
Deputy Stevenson points to DDD-2034.
Deputy Stevenson: Looks like it might be anomalous. Think we should check it out?
Deputy Marshall: Wouldn't hurt. Remember, if it can be destroyed…
Deputy Stevenson: …it should. Right you are, Chad.
Deputies Stevenson and Marshall approach DDD-2034.
Deputy Marshall: Welp, looks anomalous to me. Think we should destroy it?
Deputy Stevenson: Of course. Let's lug it back to base and go from there.
Deputy Marshall: Wait, it has a
The rest of the transcription has been destroyed. Deputies Marshall and Stevenson were subsequently interviewed about DDD-2034, shown below.
Interviewer: Demolition Expert Wes Amagan
Interviewees: Deputy Chad Marshall, Deputy Hunter Stevenson
Date: [DESTROYED]
Interviewer: Alright, let's get started.
A loud, explosive noise is heard. Interview room presumed to be destroyed, along with Deputies Marshall and Stevenson as well as Demolition Expert Amagan. Documention related to said destruction event has presumably been destroyed. Demolition Expert responsible for event is given a promotion.
As DDD-2034, along with associated materials, has been successfully destroyed, DDD file for the object will now be
