Crying Over Spilt Milk
rating: +8+x

Site 19 was under another containment breach. The MTF team assigned to this breach, upon watching the recordings of the event, were confused at the happenings. A previously unidentified man was seen breaking into the cell of SCP-2337, and taunting it with a bag of gummy worms. The corncrake was then chased across the facility, breaking through walls with screeches of various destructive frequencies.

The good doctor and the lunatic seemingly ran across the facility in pursuit of each other, ending up causing another containment breach in the cell of a Class-D. The Class-D also proceeded to join in the pursuit, attempting to snap the unidentified man's neck. During this chase, they broke into the office of Foundation personnel, and spilled a glass of what was later described to the security team as "anomalous milk", which fell into a drain and into the sewers. The Class-D, finding the research staff dead from the blast, ran out of the facility.

Due to this, the security team was unable to identify the anomalous properties of the milk. These were the events leading up to the capture of 2337, although the unidentified man escaped.

A member of the security team assigned to the incident looked across the table at the ziptie-secured corncrake on the other end.

"So, tell me again, in English, what just happened."

The corncrake seemed especially flustered by this, taking a moment to respond.

"Why, cackle-shackle, Lordo Plectrum enchanted me with stranglefruits," The corncrake said, then returning to pecking at the zipties. The security team officer sighed again, trying to stay calm under the insane circumstances.

"But why," He said, "Does this fucking milk have any importance?"

The corncrake looked up at him, then letting out a seemingly annoyed version of "CACK."

"The fruitsnackles arounding the bedsheet universes are tie to cow juice, cack."

"..So you're saying the milk fucked with the fabric of reality?" The security officer said, slightly offset by this reaction. The corncrake simply nodded, going back to gnawing at the zipties. He looked back at the camera in the top corner of the room, which the research team was watching through. As if to say, 'Y'all seeing this shit?'

Below the site, the previously unidentified man now named by the good doctor as "Lord Plectrum" was crawling through the sewers. He found a collection of Sarkic ritualistic symbols marked on the sewer floor, along with milk splattered on them. He approached the situation, taking it in. Then, the reality-bending properties in the symbols noticed the nearby man, and activated.

The milk started to fizzle, the symbols lighting up the sewer in a pale shade of white. Then the floor opened up like a needle had been struck into the fabric of reality, and Plectrum looked down into the hole. Inside moved around an uncountable amount of anomalous entities and other various tentacle-adorning demons. And the lord in the sewers heard a deathly cry of pain from a corncrake above, who had seemingly detected the great disturbance.

Plectrum turned and began retreating from the tear in reality, running into a group of hooded individuals who had presumably made the ritual.

“Now, this is the part where I run.” the man said, as Sarkic cultist eyed him.

Suddenly, just as he began to crawl backwards, the Sarkic cultists were reduced to particle radiation, which caused everything around them to decay. Perhaps it was the skinless abominations from the lost Tenth Level of Hell. Or, perhaps, it could have been the milk that he had spilled. These were the thought that went through the lost lordship's head, as he felt a tingling feeling in his gut.

“Oh, poodles." The man said, as he, and everything around him, was also reduced to particle radiation. Though he was not completely turned to radiation, and he crawled backwards through the pipe, and ended up touching the anomalous milk. The milk then spread, fully converting him to alpha particles. Through this, it spread even more, eventually evaporating the entire sewer system.

Soon after, the milk would consume more things as the winged demons terrorized the inhabitants of Site-19, leaving the cells without guards. Many Keter-class SCPs (and otherwise) had breached containment at this time, leading to the milk continuously expending energy attempting to turn them into alpha particles. After a day of doing this, it expended all the energy in the known (and unknown) universe, leaving only SCP-2337 floating in a void, chewing on a gummy worm.

The screen faded to black.
The Seinfeld theme played.
Credits rolled.
The corncrake finished telling his story.

"And that's how we escapitated the Site nine-ten, cack."

The MTF officer sighed, crossing out the notes on their clipboard.

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