Critter Profile: Teemo!
Overview!
Name: Teemo
Species: Tibetan Fox (Vulpes ferrilata)
Primary Caretaker: Alex Molina, Terrestrial Team
Diet: Any meats, I'm not picky!
Housed: Wilson's Center, Terrestrial Enclosure 726
Creature Features!
Teemo is a rare (Especially for this corner of the world!) Tibetan fox that showed up in a construction zone here in good ol' Boring. What makes him stand out even more among other foxes, aside from his most unusual facial structure, is his ability to make one fumble their words when in his presence. That's right, Teemo here has the uncanny ability to turn even the most eloquent of gab-gifted speakers into blithering buffoons when attempting to communicate verbally. It's important to note that Teemo doesn't actually affect anyone's intelligence, just their ability to properly express themselves.
Or at least we think so, anyway.
Special Needs and Accomodations!
Teemo running in his enclosure with a marmot in his jaws.
Tibetan foxes are typically mountain-dwelling creatures, so we have terraformed an enclosure to meet Teemo's natural environment. Thanks to the Supervisors, we are using a Haussman-Fleck Local Gravity Adjuster to reduce the gravity in his enclosure by about 0.29%, similar to that of the mountain ranges his species usually inhabits. It's a small change, but we are happy to accommodate Teemo!
Another thing we've done for him is introduce a wild Himalayan marmot population into his enclosure for the little guy to hunt as a form of enrichment. Of course, this has created the problem of a few of them escaping into the Center and invading a few other enclosures, but if it makes Teemo happy, we can't really complain.
Teemo is unusually friendly for a wild animal and enjoys coming up to people. If we planned on releasing him this would pose a problem, but the Supervisors have decided that he is to be a permanent resident of our Center, so this means he gets to eat eggs and little chunks of beef out of our hands for as long as he lives. Hooray!
History!
As previously mentioned, Teemo initially came to our attention when a construction crew out by Route 212 suddenly started speaking like… well… idiots. They initially thought it to be an outbreak of Foolish Fever (Something not seen in the area since 1912.) and began packing up their site to get away from the vector of contamination. It was then that they spotted a fox with a funny face had approached them, trying to eat their lunch. One of the crewmen scared him off, and he darted into the forest behind them, only for their speech silliness to be lifted!
It was then that they contacted us here at the Center, and we immediately got on the case.
At first we thought Teemo only hampered verbal communication, so we devised what we thought was a genius plan; a buddy system with hand signals assigned to comb the forest. I, Alex, and Faeowynn formed Team One, Old Al and Steph formed Team Two, and Marge and Mindy formed Team Three. Since I am fluent in American Sign Language (My brother, Oswaldo, is deaf) and Fae knows some to speak with Oswaldo, Fae and I issued the hand signals to the rest of the team in case they ran into Teemo, and we set off!
So there we were, Fae and I, a long term couple, finally having some time alone, even if we were technically on the job. And you see, there is this burning question I've been meaning to ask her for the past year or so. We chattered a bit, talking about the Center, talking about her dad, her brothers, my family, etc. As we kept laying traps, we kept chattering and I was building up my nerve to ask.
I wanted to record it, so I took my phone out and put it in my shirt pocket. And well… I'll just let you be the judge of what happened next.
Me: Hey, Fae?
Fae: Hay is for horses.
Me: I uh. I have something I wanted to tell you.
Fae: Is this about going up to Three Ports to watch that horror movie everyone's been hyping up? Because I'm telling you, I suck at horror movies.
Me: No, I uh. Well.
Fae: Yeah, honeybee?
Me: I word good.
Fae: Do you? What go on?
Me: Me no can talk good. Maybe fox near?
Fae: Me no can talk good either. Fox yes near. What you was say?
Me: Uh. You pretty.
Fae: Thank?
Me: And me think you nice.
Fae: Yes. Why you make sign language?
Me: Because me no word good!
Fae: Damn fox.
Me: There!
Fae: Oh! Me see fox!
Teemo: Awoo!
Me: It come to us?
Fae: Easier than think was. Put in trap now.
Teemo: Bark!
Me: Done.
Fae: So what you want say me?
Me: Uh. Me wonder if you…
Fae: Me what?
Me: Uh. Me wonder if Fae… you know. Want maybe more serious.
Fae: Me no get. Help take fox to truck?
Me: Yes. But Fae! Please listen me!
Fae: Me listen! But fox make me you no talk good, so maybe wait later?
Me: No! Cannot wait later! Me say now!
Fae: Then say. What want say?
Me: Me want ask Tim but he no—
Teemo: Yip!
Fae: What say? Want ask who?
Me: Argh! Quiet, fox!
[I am not proud to admit this, dear reader, but I dropped the cage and started signing in frustration. However, Teemo was not hurt!]
Fae: Care!
Teemo: Yap!
Me: Me want to say—
Fae: Why you hand sign when talk?
Me: Oswaldo… Oh! Me know! Fae! Look!
Fae: Please slow me no understand good.
Me: Please look me sign! No talk, just look!
Fae: … Oh.
Me: What say you?
Fae: Dork.
Notes about Teemo!
She said yes.
Teemo is going to be our ringbearer, but we are making sure he's a good distance away before the vows start.
