Critter Profile: Jeremy Thornhill!
Overview!
Name: Jeremy Thornhill (We just call him Jerry though.)
Species: Homo aedificator (Common engineer)
Primary Caretaker: Anders Wilson
Diet: Hungry Man TV Dinner, Monster Energy Drink
Housed: Cubicle 001
Creature Features!
Jerry Thornhill is the name of a Common engineer we have here at our lovely little Center. At his full height, he stands up to 5'11, (His species is known to bend their back just a smidge.) weighs between 185-190 pounds, has a brown coat, and has a pale complexion. Common engineers live between 60-70 years, possibly longer depending on responsible breeding and diet/exercise. Though we don't know how old Jerry is for certain, as we found him out in Boring back in September 19th, 2021, we can safely estimate he is between 25-30 years old!
Like many other members of his species, Jerry spends a lot of time at his computer, where he can often be found writing emails, working on spreadsheets, and wrapping up code. Unlike most members of his species, however, Jerry works for Avelar Professional Products, a company the Supervisors tell us deal in the paranormal offices of the world. At time of writing, it is currently illegal to employ Common engineers in 45 out of 50 states, as well as in Guam and Puerto Rico. Due to this information, the Supervisors say they feel confident in narrowing down where they are based out of, but that's more of Faeowynn and Captain Esau's business than it is mine!
History!
Jerry's coat for a more traditional day at work.
As previously mentioned, we first found out about good ol' Jerry on September 19th, 2021, in an incident where he entered the local coffee shop and attempted to order coffee. This would, however, prove difficult as Common engineers are incapable of stringing together sentences and instead rely on mimicry. Faeowynn and Alex were out on a date at the same cafe this was happening, and they noticed Jerry's floundering attempts to get coffee. Alex and Fae, suspecting something was off, followed him to his table where a Macbook displaying the Avelar Professional Products profit projections for the next year was plainly visible alongside a briefcase and a few empty cans of Monster.
Fae and Alex were able to trick Jerry into thinking they were engaging in a team-building exercise with him at a social gathering, and quickly bagged and tagged him for Center processing. Though their date was cut short, they were able to quickly learn all about Common engineers from the book of Sub-Human Entities released by the Global Occult Coalition in 2019, which allowed for a quick intake process and before they knew it, Jerry had been assigned an enclosure; the Center Cubicles.
It was a match made in Heaven. He gets all the space he needs to do what he needs to do, carers and volunteers refill his water bottle and give him Monster as a treat, and can rest by lying down.
Special Needs and Accommodations!
Jerry is pretty easy to take care of and doesn't, in fact, need many things done to him to be happy.
Every morning, one volunteer or caretaker is to approach Jerry's cubicle door holding a leash and open it. Though at some point Jerry needed to be leash trained, it's pretty safe for him to be off-leash during his daily exercise walks. In the event of winter or inclement weather, rain coats and warm clothes fitting Jerry have been provided in the Critter Care Box outside of Jerry's enclosure.
A second member of the team is to brew a cup of American coffee for Jerry, and serve it after both he and his assigned caretaker return to place him safely away in his enclosure, which contains comfortable seats and an electric outlet for him to power his devices. The computer and phone in his possession have been connected to a limited internet that is severely monitored by the Supervisors.
Though loud noises distract Jerry from his work, he does enjoy the company of visitors and guests. As stimulation, once weekly, caretakers are to put on ties and suits and enter Jerry's enclosure for the intents and purposes of holding a non-existing meeting. Topics of discussion may be mundane, important, absurd, or even not real. Each individual is to speak for five minutes then turn to Jerry and assign him a task such as "Write an email for me about xyz" or "Tighten up the code on the database". This keeps him busy throughout the week.
Notes about Jerry!
Many volunteers and visitors alike report the suspicion that Jerry can talk, which is simply not the case! Common engineers are capable of mimicry, meaning that whenever you hear Jerry say "I have a meeting to get to" or "I need a damn Monster", that's not him actually saying that! It just means he heard someone else say it and like a parrot, has added it to his list of stock phrases to repeat. Many of the same volunteers will also point out that Jerry and his ilk look similar to us humans. Much like our closest relatives, the Great Apes, Common engineers diverged down the Homo sapiens evolutionary path at some point in the past.
As for Jerry himself, he is a bit timid around handlers who happen to be women, especially Haigi, but he spends all day and night on his Macbook, tip-typing away until he passes out. At least Monday thru Friday between 8AM and 3AM. He mostly sleeps on the weekends.
