Critter Profile: Dormi!
Overview!
Name: Dormi
Species: Oreophasis derbianus (Horned Guan)
Primary Caretaker: Avian Team, Heather Oshton
Diet: Fed by tube with a liquid diet of blended fruit mixed with leaves.
Housed: Wilson's Wildlife Center, Small Avian Enclosure 3B
Creature Features!
Dormi is a wonderfully plump little guy, even if he doesn't do much of, well, anything! Almost nonstop, since the day he came into our lives Dormi has been sleeping the days away in what can only be assumed to be the most pleasant of dreams. Most the time only sounds we ever hear from him are half dreary excited coos he makes while he's soaring the skies deep in his mind. What few times he has been awake have lasted only minutes at their longest. Typically, he only gets up to adjust his sleeping position or to squawk mightily angrily about how his feeding tube has run empty. He gets pretty feisty when he isn't being fed.
In spite of the lack of activity and much to the relief of us here at the center, Dormi doesn't appear to gain any weight over time. But he doesn't lose much either. He's just a few ounces lighter than he was the day he got here actually.
What makes our feathered friend so special is the peculiar effect he seems to have on anyone who sleeps near him. Near everyone who dosed off near Dormi reports hearing voices going over a bunch of numbers. Occasionally some of the people here at the center have reported hearing ads in their dreams, but we're not so sure if that's connected to dear old Dormi. When we asked the supervisors for their opinion, they got pretty confused and acted like they couldn't remember who he was.
Current theory among staff here at the center is that Dormi is just bad at math.
History!
Dormi first came to our attention when Mr. Wilson was approached by his previous caretakers while he was still being held at their facility. This one was in Croatia, of all places! When Mr. Wilson asked Dormi's previous owners how a Mexican bird ended up in the Balkans, they answered with something along the lines of;
The minds of the corporeal are too small to grasp the full benefit of unification under ONE MOTIVE, ONE SPIRIT, ONE PURPOSE! The goal of all life is its proliferation beyond the shackles of physical living! Let FREE your will from the inhibitions of FLESH! Let FREE your mind from singularity and INSIGNIFICANCE! Let FREE your spirit from the TRANSITORY TEMPORALITY IMPOSED UPON YOU BY ENTROPY!
This BIRD, this CREATURE, this VESSEL is the KEY!
TAKE IT AND IT WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY!
Now Mr. Wilson was no stranger to religious weirdos in his career of natural conservation. When he first heard these "ramblings atop the mountains of madness," as he referred to it, he expected Dormi to be in much worse shape given those types weren't typically the best caretakers. So, you can imagine his surprise when the bird he was offered was our fat and jolly little Dormi. Of course, Mr. Wilson wasn't gonna turn down these strange folk on their offer to take in our new friend. Given all the love we could show him!
Granted, the details do get a bit fuzzy after that. Mr. Wilson says he can't actually remember where it was he met with Dormi's previous owners to discuss taking him in. Nor, actually, did he remember traveling anywhere around that time now that I think of it.
A van simply showed up a few days after the meeting with Dormi inside, along with all his favorite toys and blanket. They were very nice people, though. Complimented us here at the center and talked about how people today are losing touch and need to remember the importance of the connections between not just people but all living beings, and, you know what, we couldn't agree more!
We haven't heard from those guys since they dropped off Dormi, but Bogumir if you end up reading this you and your aniroy buddies, or whatever you call 'em, are always welcome to visit!
Special Needs and Accommodations!
You may have guessed by now but Dormi's pretty low maintenance. Given his strangely stagnant weight and lack of any health issues, if you're assigned to look after him you're mostly just there to make his enclosure stays hot and humid like it is back in his natural habitat between refilling his feeding tube.
Having said that, Dormi is pretty particular with how he sleeps. He likes to have his blankie and his toys near him. We're not sure why he likes them so much, considering he really can't play with the latter, but he gets upset when they aren't around. A lot of them are small rubber trinkets but they have the same tree logo as on his big blue blanket so it’s easy to tell them apart from other items. Trust me, we've tried replacing them, it just doesn't satisfy him without those specific ones.
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From: Dr. Amelia Parton
To: Heather Oshton
Date: 15/06/2016
Heather,
Recently some equipment has gone missing from the inventory. Mostly walkie talkies, ham radios, and a couple laptops. Sending this to you because Bill said he took one of the walkie talkies out of enclosure 3B the last time he cleaned it, which you're always hanging around. I was wondering why it was there and if you knew.
If you did take the stuff, could you sign it out on the inventory sheet next time cause it may cause confusion in the future.
Thanks,
Supervisor Parton
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From: Heather Oshton
To: Dr. Amelia Parton
Date: 15/06/2016
Amelia,
Do you mean Dormi's enclosure?
I didn't take any of the electronics and I didn't see anyone with them in Dormi's enclosure. I doubt he got them (sleepyhead) but I think I found some loose wiring in there the other day. Buried under some leaves where someone had raked his stool to the side.
Whoever did it, maybe one of the community service guys that got transferred in, I'll keep an eye out to make sure they don't try to hide anything else in there.
With regards,
Heather
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From: Jeremy Bennet
To: Heather Oshton
Date: 17/06/2016
Heather,
Sending this email in advance to say I won't be able to come in tomorrow like I'm scheduled. I'm sorry but I'm so tired, idk what it is. I keep waking up feeling so sore in my legs and back like I've been working out and now I'm waking up with scrapes all over my ams. I think I have a burn on my wrist, I can't remember where I got it.
I'm gonna go see the doctor in town, see if there's something going on I should be worried about. But I should be back soon.
Thanks in advance,
Jeremy
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From: Heather Oshton
To: Tim Wilson
Date: 17/06/2016
Tim,
I dunno what the supervisors are playing at or if Amelia put them up to something but I'm getting pretty sick and tired of this joke or whatever they're playing on me. I made a request last week to get some higher quality sprinklers for Dormi's enclosure and I got NO REPLY. This is the THIRD TIME.
I marched over to Amelia's office and confronted her about it and she said they never got an email from me about this. So I asked her in person and after explaining the issue of the sprinklers not kicking on like they should, she stops me and asks "whose Dormi?"
I remind her who he is. I show her pictures. I open up his profile on her computer. She keeps pretending to have no idea who he is.
Eventually I just brought her to his enclosure and she just stared blankly for a while before asking me what I wanted to show her.
Its making me really mad and I was hoping you could say something to her/them.
With regards,
Heather
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From: Heather Oshton
To: Judy Kilmer
Date: 20/06/2016
Judy,
I came in this morning to find that the music that usually plays over the center's PA system was replaced by what sounds like Jeremy reading several series of numbers. Its, pretty eerie, not going to lie. I tried asking one of your technicians what was going on and they just brushed me off asking what I meant by that.
Actually, most people kind of just ignored when I asked about it. The few that didn't seemed equally weirded out or annoyed. One of the guys, who asked I not mention him in this, said that the night before someone had accessed the system from a terminal on the roof somehow. Jonah said several farmers had come over asking about a broadcast, reporting hearing the same numbers.
Kind of curious what's going on since it really seems to be bothering a lot of the animals.
With regards,
Heather
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From: Heather Oshton
To: Judy Kilmer
Date: 21/06/2016
Judy,
Sending this email because I read the last one I sent you and realized I didn't remember writing that. Wanted to apologize, I don't know what I was talking about. And, also for just being so selfish. I realize that I was denying you, really everyone at the center, the decency of unity.
I see now that a life lived in solipsistic solitude is no life at all.
As one,
Heather
