I don't know him very well, so I really can't say anything about him.
Oh, him? Honestly, the less you know, the better.
Back when I used to work at Site-48, with the classic car, he was known as "that guy", you know? He didn't do much, but when he did anything, he did it right the first time.
Guy's not good at decisions. I saw him look at my SUV, and I offered to sell it to him. He said that he would think about it, so I was surprised when I saw him drive up in this economy sedan a few days later. He could've bought my Expedition for two-thirds of the price of how much he paid for his… what car was it again? Whatever, some people just don't know how to decide for themselves.
I don't know what he does here. I've never seen his credentials, but he seems to have a high enough clearance to access anything in Site-56. He can't be the Site Director, that's Palermo, but he can't be a janitor, either.
Man kept calling me in the middle of the night to ask me for Taco Bell delivery. I eventually found out that he kept mixing the 3 and 7 keys on his phone, and if you swapped them around in my Foundation-issued phone number, you'd get the number for Site-48's Taco Bell.
-HMCL Supervisor Benjamin Bolton
One time, he came up to me and asked why our money looks like Monopoly money. Then he teased us Canadians for paying too much for cell service and car insurance. Like, who told him about those things?
-Researcher Daniel Waller
He sleeps at his desk all day. I've never seen him do any sort of work around here. I think he hires a D-Class to do his paperwork for him. We may not deal with the most dangerous anomalies around here, but his work "ethic" is still unprofessional.
-Researcher Terrance Tsai
One time, I caught him using the Thaumiel-class transmogrifier machine in the storage room to make pizza. I threatened to report him, and he offered me a slice. I asked for pineapple toppings, and he gasped and ran out the room without his pizza.
-Researcher Veronica Viazzo
Dude, he's one of the rudest people ever, like I don't know how anyone manages to deal with him every day. I sure fuckin' can't. Like one time, we were enjoying ourselves at Site-56, and he decides to narc on me to the Site Director! I got demoted because of him!!
-Researcher Dominic Donahue
I remember when I kept hearing that damn screaming noise everywhere, and he communicated with me by writing notes and giving the messages to me. That was after the phase where he would scream into my ears about where the bathrooms were for the fiftieth time.
When do I get to go back home? My kids are worried sick, and I think I forgot to turn the oven off before I left.
He asked me to sign his petition and I said no, so he asked again, and I still said no. I finally signed it after he threatened to tell everyone about what happened to me in Iraq. I asked him to elaborate after I signed, he said he was bluffing all along.
One time, he asked me whether he could stay a night in the mansion in the back of my van. He begged for weeks, and eventually I said yes. I prepare a nice bed on the second floor, and guess what? Guy sleeps in the front cabin of my van itself, in the passenger seat.
I offered to hook him up with a new Chrysler 300, and his eyes lit up with that sparkle. So it was rather surprising that he also took glee in giving me that "amnesiac" gas they've got. Will still keep his request in mind, though.
You're a great guy, alright? Just let me out! Please, I have teenagers to teach! How are they gonna learn about parabolas without me??
To █████,
Your audition is complete.
Please do not come again. Please. We beg you.
- Keep Brighton Functioning Committee
Sometimes, he would talk about our high school years with nostalgia, even though, well, maybe I shouldn't say.
I love when he's around! Every day he comes by, he puts Researcher Donahue in his place, which is hard to do, cause Donahue is a complete [REDACTED]. I know that this level of unprofessionalism is frowned upon these days, but █████'s still good at breaking the ice.
He offered to show me his trombone-playing skills one time. I said yes, and gave him a date, time, and location to meet. He then tried to spray me with amnestics, but I managed to wrestle the can away from him and do the same in return. Still never got to see him play…
I complained to him about my broken windshield, and he offered to let me drive his car. I said "no", and he didn't talk to me for seven weeks.
Man offered to buy me a drink once. I said no, I'm a teetotaler, then he said he was too.
He likes to call me "Triple A" sometimes. Dick.
Who?
