'Best-Rest Villa' (MYK7X/BR05F/V9902)

Mykonos is beautiful this time of year.

rating: +40+x
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MYK7X/BR05F/V9902
Status In Reserve
Demand Low
Value Not For Sale1
Availability 1 Unit
Identifier Best-Rest Villa
Description A 1950 m2, 4-bedroom villa in Mykonos, Greece. The property is held in name by Miller & Geer Realty through a binding, deed-based contract independent of eminent domain.

Should someone fall asleep anywhere on the premises, they will wake up 9 hours later in one of the bedrooms feeling optimally rested. They will also experience health benefits such as improved circulation and organ function, as well as balanced vitamin and hormone levels.

However, once someone who has slept on the premises departs, they are rendered physically incapable of falling asleep again. Following this, individuals will face the effects of sleep deprivation at an accelerated rate, becoming progressively more severe before death occurs, typically around three days after their last rest.
Marshall, Carter & Dark, Ltd.

Initial Writeup
Penned by: Ruprecht Sidereal Carter
Date July 02, 2018
Interest Medium
Identifier Best-Rest Villa
As beautiful as Mykonos is this time of year, I’m afraid the costs of a good night’s sleep drastically outweigh the benefits here. That said, I appreciate that the architect thought to reach out to me earlier this year about giving me first dibs on this little project.

After all, the demand is only low in the case of a fully informed buyer. This may easily be packaged as an exclusive getaway package and prove to have merit as an euthanasia service down the line.

It’s a hassle, of course, to try and force someone into buying such a specific resort, but there are enough desperate insomniacs in the world to keep my faith that this is a good addition to our portfolio.
File Opened Under: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902
Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 96779

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-01

DATE: 07/01/2020

TO: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

PENNED BY: LUCAS A. MONACO

Would it be permissible to offer use of this villa to some kin of mine? Close enough to be irritating, distant enough not to bother you with consequences. I'm thinking the 15th–17th, but any weekend in January should work.

If yes, I'll need a formal invitation from you or someone whose name is on the property deed. Pesky customs and all, as I'd not go so far as to make them sleep on the doorstep, even if it might have the same effects.

As for compensation, I'm confident I can get them to pay the 45,000GBP a night for the trouble.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 96784

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-02

DATE: 07/01/2020

TO: LUCAS A. MONACO

PENNED BY: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

Approved. Rent's appreciated, but don't worry about it. I know family can be pesky, and you've given me a chuckle over the thought of turning immortal creatures of the night into perpetual insomniacs. The image gets better if they're already the sort to sleep in coffins.

I'll forward you a proper invitation this afternoon.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99142

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-03

DATE: 24/03/2021

TO: AMOS H. MARSHALL, DORIAN C. SLOAN

PENNED BY: HOGARTH M. CARTWRIGHT

Amos, I'm moving this conversation into this file for relevance.

You were right that Mr. Feldman is currently hiding out in Mykonos, and evidently, we've done something to make Lady Luck smile, as I've confirmed that his villa is just down the street from our own. Rich minds think alike, apparently.

Dorian says that if we can get him a reliable number, he can talk Feldman into walking next door for a nap.

This is an advantageous alternative to killing him outright. This way, we have a chance to get some of our money back, as I expect that after a few days of sleep deprivation, he'll be willing to pay a pretty penny for an antidote, if we tell him we have one.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99143

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-04

DATE: 24/03/2021

TO: AMOS H. MARSHALL, HOGARTH M. CARTWRIGHT

PENNED BY: DORIAN C. SLOAN

Full transparency, I've never talked someone into falling asleep. Shouldn't be an issue, given the relative tameness of the request, but I'll go out and practice to verify.

Just let me know whether this is going to have to be cell or landline.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99146

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-05

DATE: 24/03/2021

TO: HOGARTH M. CARTWRIGHT, DORIAN C. SLOAN

PENNED BY: AMOS H. MARSHALL

This works. I'll send over Feldman's information and leave it to you two to sort out the details.

AUDIO FILE MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-012

DATE: 27/03/2021
TIME BEGIN: 2:04PM UTC -5

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

[HOGARTH CARTWRIGHT sits across the desk from DORIAN SLOAN.]

HOGARTH: And…we're rolling.

DORIAN: Wait—you're recording this?

HOGARTH: Of course.

DORIAN: It's bad enough that you insist on sitting there and listening to me do this.

HOGARTH: Pfft. I know damn well you don't have stage fright, kid.

DORIAN: I—Yeah, okay, I'll give you that.

[DORIAN finishes a glass of water on his desk, then clears his throat.]

DORIAN: Let's do this.

[HOGARTH provides an untraceable burner phone. There is only one contact saved, belonging to NIKOS FELDMAN. DORIAN picks up the phone and calls the number, playing the call on speaker. The line rings for three seconds before it is picked up.]

[There is a brief static disruption to the audio as DORIAN begins to speak rapidly.]

DORIAN: Hey! You're going to stay on this line so I can talk to you about your homeowner's insurance, okay? Good, cool, nice to meet you. Please provide a yes or no answer to the following confirmation question: Am I speaking to Mr. Nikos Feldman, currently residing in Mykonos?

NIKOS: Y-Yes. Who is this?

DORIAN: Shh, doesn't matter who I am. I'm your best and most trusted friend in the whole wide world, and you're going to do exactly what I say. Yes or no, are you alone?

NIKOS: Yes, but my—

DORIAN: Good. No one else matters but us. If you're inside, you're going to go outside. Don't worry, no one's out there to hurt you. Don't look scared or do anything to raise alarm. You're just taking a little walk down the street, yeah?

[HOGARTH places a map in front of DORIAN, showing the area surrounding NIKOS. The path between the two villas is highlighted, with notes for giving verbal directions scribbled alongside. DORIAN gives a thumbs-up while continuing to speak.]

DORIAN: I hear Mykonos is beautiful this time of year. I'm sure that's why you chose to go, yes? No other reason at all. Not hiding, just vacationing, mm? Tell me—are you outside enjoying the weather yet, Mr. Feldman?

NIKOS: I am, yes … It's nice tonight.

DORIAN: Wonderful. Front door, facing the beach, yes or no?

NIKOS: Facing the beach, yes.

DORIAN: Gorgeous, isn't it? Start walking to your right.

NIKOS: How are you doing this?

[DORIAN kicks his feet up onto his desk.]

DORIAN: It's not a far walk, I promise. Only about a mile—two kilometers, if you've already abandoned the imperial system. Forgive my being an American. Not important. What's important is that I'm gonna talk you through every step of the way, alright? Follow my voice, and I promise I won't lead you astray.

NIKOS: Where am I going?

DORIAN: Augh, god forbid this is as easy as me giving you an address, mm? Old roads and all, I guess. Do you keep up with what's new in architecture, Mr. Feldman? Surrounding real estate?

NIKOS: Yes. I try.

DORIAN: Kolya Sierpiński designed the most remarkably beautiful villa just down the road from you. You're going to a viewing, is all. Consider me your real estate agent. It's got a better beach view than what you've got right now.

NIKOS: A viewing?

DORIAN: Yes. Open house. Nothing nefarious, don't worry. Keep walking, turn straight and down the mountain, then take a left right before the Café Axízei. Tell me when you get there, alright? You're not stopping for a drink, sorry. There should be a staircase behind the building.

NIKOS: I can see it now.

DORIAN: Wonderful. Be careful walking down. Don't trip on the stairs.

NIKOS: What's your name?

DORIAN: Whatever you want it to be, baby.

[HOGARTH stifles a laugh, and DORIAN grins as he motions for him to be quiet.]

DORIAN: Ha, god, to hell with this job, I should have been a call girl. There's good money in that. But hey, you and I both know there's a difference between good money and great money, yeah?

HOGARTH: Don't rule it out yet. When Percival hears this—

DORIAN: Shh—! Anyway, this is fun. What do you think, Nikos? Are you having fun? Don't answer that, actually. Just tell me when you reach the bottom of the steps. There's an ATM right there.

NIKOS: How— Why am I doing this?

DORIAN: Because I've asked you very nicely, and because you want to do as I say. And hey, you're doing very well for me, you know that? I mean, truly, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you being this good at following directions.

NIKOS: Hey, mister?

DORIAN: Yes?

NIKOS: Do you want to hurt me?

DORIAN: I want you to keep doing as I tell you. Keep walking down the stairs.

NIKOS: Okay … You know, there are some people out there who really want to hurt me.

DORIAN: Oh, yes, there certainly are. But don't worry about them. Just listen to my voice. I've not told you to bash your head in on the rocks yet, have I?

NIKOS: No…

DORIAN: Exactly. Now, would you walk a bit faster, please? I resent slow walkers. It's a pet peeve.

[NIKOS speeds up.]

NIKOS: Hah. Definitely from the Big Apple, aren't you?

DORIAN: I—Who the fuck calls it that? I've never heard anyone actually call it that. Are you trying to throw me off? I thought I told you to tell me when you—

NIKOS: I'm at the bottom of the stairs.

DORIAN: Oh—perfect! How easy was that? Now, there's a main path to your two o'clock. You should be able to see where to walk, but let me know if it's not clear. Is it clear?

NIKOS: Yes, it's clear.

DORIAN: Good! Now, you're pretty much on a straightaway from here. Bit steep, though, so I'm going to once again ask that you pretty please don't trip and fall. Your destination is a villa that will be on your right. White marble, three stories, very little surrounding it. According to the listing, there are even a few olive trees in the yard. For your convenience, we've left a British flag outside the door. Tacky, I know, but not my call. Can't have you going to the wrong property.

NIKOS: You … Oh, no …

DORIAN: Mm?

NIKOS: No, no, no, please …

DORIAN: Whatever has you sounding so frightened, you're not going to let it keep you from continuing to walk.

NIKOS: You work for Marshall, don't you?

[DORIAN pauses, then laughs softly.]

DORIAN: You know, whenever I do this, I never like to name drop.

NIKOS: No, no, mister, please— Don't make me—

DORIAN: Did you take him for someone who bluffs? Did you think you could fuck with his financials and then go hide in your pretty house on the sea without consequence? Well, here I am, sweetheart. Your motherfucking consequence, courtesy of Mr. Marshall.

NIKOS: Please…

DORIAN: Stay en route, Nikos, or so help me god.

[NIKOS continues to whimper softly, sniffling.]

DORIAN: Oh, don't cry. Please don't cry. Hey, I'm gonna take your mind off that nasty business, alright? Rather than sit here and threaten you or improv phone sex from here until you finish walking to the villa, I'm going to give you a free podcast! Or a bedtime story, whatever you want to think of this as.

[DORIAN picks up a print of the day's Wall Street Journal, flipping to the front page.]

DORIAN: Now, I'm sure you keep up with the news, so forgive me if this information is outdated to you, but it's what I've got on hand. If you reach your destination before I'm finished, you cut me off, alright?

[For the next eleven minutes and eight seconds, DORIAN proceeds to read the paper aloud in its entirety, pausing intermittently to keep NIKOS en route. Three minutes in, HOGARTH gets up and walks around the desk to take a pack of cigarettes from the top drawer. HOGARTH removes one and returns to his seat, smoking silently until DORIAN finishes the paper.]

DORIAN: In my mind, that was going to last longer. Shit. Sorry, I read fast. You still with me, Nikos?

NIKOS: Yes. You should do audiobooks.

DORIAN: Aww, thank you. And you should watch your step.

NIKOS: You don't have to do this, you know. I can pay you.

DORIAN: Pfft, please. You can't afford me. Now, describe where you are.

NIKOS: I see olive trees, the bright blue sea, stone beaches… It's all so beautiful … Please, mister, I'm not ready to die.

DORIAN: Tell me landmarks.

NIKOS: I walked past another resort about a minute ago. I can see the street you want me to go to.

DORIAN: That's good, very good. One foot in front of the other, Mr. Feldman. Deep breaths and relax.

NIKOS: C-Can you tell Marshall I'm sorry?

DORIAN: You can tell him yourself. You're not going to die today.

NIKOS: Maybe not, but something horrible will happen to me, won't it?

DORIAN: I'm not going to ruin a surprise. Now, you seem to know where you're going. I've been clear about what I want you to do. Keep walking and tell me when you reach the villa.

NIKOS: Even if I do die, my wife won't care. No one will. Maybe the kids, but they'll get over it. But whatever you intend to do to me, Esme would probably approve. She caught me cheating not too long ago.

DORIAN: Oh? Well, tell me that story while you walk.

NIKOS: I told Esme I was going to Chicago on business. Then our son broke his arm, and when she called, I didn't answer. She said she knew right then, said the stars told her. Can you believe that horseshit?

DORIAN: What, like your marriage was in retrograde?

NIKOS: Like hell. I bet she called my good-for-nothing colleagues, and one of them ratted on me.

DORIAN: You're a bastard. Keep walking. I bet you weren't even in Chicago.

NIKOS: No, no, I was. I'd just skipped the panel in the hotel lobby to go back to my suite and get head from a Greek woman with great legs.

[DORIAN and HOGARTH look at each other with raised brows.]

DORIAN: My accountant wants to know if it was at least good head.

[DORIAN starts laughing, as does HOGARTH. DORIAN immediately clears his throat and resumes.]

DORIAN: Sorry. Don't hang up. You're very brave for sharing that. Though why people feel compelled to tell me this sort of thing, I have no idea.

[NIKOS sighs.]

NIKOS: Well, who else am I going to tell? Besides, it seems now's the time to get that sort of thing off my chest.

DORIAN: You know what? That's fair. Sure, this can be confessional, so long as you keep walking to the villa.

NIKOS: I can see it now. The villa.

DORIAN: Oh, that's great! Well done, Mr. Feldman. You're almost there.

NIKOS: It's beautiful. Has good bones, a lovely facade…

DORIAN: Real Architectural Digest material, isn't it?

NIKOS: Yes. I'm here. Please don't make me go inside.

DORIAN: But it would be such a waste not to! You've walked all this way. Can you see the front door? Blue with the flag beside it?

NIKOS: Yes. Please don't do this. Please.
.
DORIAN: Just for you, my friend, it's unlocked. Walk inside.

[The front door to the villa opens. NIKOS enters, then closes the door behind him. His breath shudders.]

NIKOS: I'm inside…

DORIAN: Pick a bedroom—doesn't matter to me which one. Just walk around until you find a bed. And what lovely beds, no? Feather pillows, linen sheets, whatever those geniuses put inside mattresses. Find one, then lie down for me.

[A door opens. There are footsteps, followed by rustling sounds.]

DORIAN: See, I told you it was good real estate. Aren't you glad I brought you all this way?

NIKOS: Y-Yes. Okay.

DORIAN: Okay, good. Are you lying down?

NIKOS: Yes.

DORIAN: Are you comfortable?

NIKOS: Yes.

DORIAN: Very good. You're going to fall asleep now.

NIKOS: That's it?

DORIAN: That's it? Ha—aww, god, don't sound so disappointed. I promise, this is about to be the best sleep of your life.

NIKOS: Will you stay on the line?

DORIAN: Oh, that's so sweet. Yes, of course I'll stay on the line. I'd read you a bedtime story, but I—well, I guess I skipped the currency exchange. Dry enough to put anyone to sleep, right? Ha.

[DORIAN picks up the newspaper again and flips to the exchange section.]

DORIAN: We'll start with the Americas. As of this morning on Wall Street, the Argentine peso is worth 0.0009 US dollars. Go to sleep. The Brazilian real is worth 0.1814 USD. Go to sleep. The Canadian dollar—

[This procedure continues for three minutes and twelve seconds. When DORIAN reaches the end of the page, there is silence for nine seconds, save for soft breathing from NIKOS.]

DORIAN: Nikos?

[Silence and soft breathing continue for another forty-five seconds. DORIAN gives a questioning thumbs-up gesture, to which HOGARTH nods in confirmation. DORIAN ends the call and sighs deeply.]

HOGARTH: That was impressive.

DORIAN: You're too kind.

HOGARTH: No, I'm not. I'm not easily impressed, either.

[DORIAN smiles and takes his legs off his desk. He proceeds to retrieve a medicinal, honey-flavored lozenge from his top drawer, which he places in his mouth.]

DORIAN: Want one?

HOGARTH: No, I'm fine, thanks. Do you talk to everyone you kill like you're trying to take them to bed?

[DORIAN shrugs and removes a cigarette case containing Marlboro Blacks from the pocket of his suit jacket, extending it to HOGARTH.]

HOGARTH: That, I'll take you up on.

[HOGARTH lights himself a cigarette as DORIAN stands up. HOGARTH returns the case, only for DORIAN to pocket it.]

HOGARTH: You're making me smoke alone? Bastard.

DORIAN: Course not. God knows I need one, just giving it a few minutes—

[DORIAN taps his cheek where the cough drop rests to emphasize that he is waiting for it to dissolve. HOGARTH scoffs, then stands up as well.]

HOGARTH: Don't those things cancel out?

DORIAN: Sure, but that doesn't really matter. I'm going to go have sushi for lunch. Turn that thing off and come join me.

[END STENOGRAPHER’S STONE TRANSCRIPTION.]

TIME CONCLUDED: 02:29PM UTC-5

INCIDENT REPORT MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-01

DATE: 31/03/2021

PENNED BY: HOGARTH M. CARTWRIGHT

By the time Nikos Feldman woke up, he had received an invoice from Enterprise Equity Partners for 750,000USD. As we expected, he had to liquidate his entire portfolio to scrounge up the sum, but the check cleared yesterday.

This morning, he flew back to New York, only to drop dead of a heart attack in the FOB3 at JFK4.

Word on the street is that Nikos was right about one thing—his wife seems perturbed by the news, but she's far from mourning.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99168

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-06

DATE: 31/03/2021

TO: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

PENNED BY: AMOS H. MARSHALL

My thanks again for letting Nikos Feldman crash at your place. Glad to see we were able to get some use out of the property, unfortunate after-effects and awful floor plan aside.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99174

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-07

DATE: 31/03/2021

TO: AMOS H. MARSHALL

PENNED BY: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

It's no trouble—believe it or not, the linens in the place even change themselves.

Although, since you've brought the family to my attention, I knew the name Esme Feldman rang a bell. Sure enough, she's a fairly prolific financial astrologer in Manhattan. A second-rate star-charter, really, who has spent the past decade crying wolf to her husband and his investment banker friends.

I've never appreciated her meddling in certain markets, but this business with Nikos is making me wonder if I should tie up this loose end. I'm sure you'll scoff, but I do believe I can make a ritual out of it.

I only ask as a courtesy, given she's more in your orbit than mine—after all, I'd be offended if you went out and had some real estate mogul killed without giving me at least a heads up.

Though if you shake your head at my astrological antics, I'll assume you have no love lost for Ms. Feldman. Last I checked, Percival still had John Maynard Keynes'5 soul trapped beneath the London office, and I can't imagine you consulting a superstitious nobody for economic forecasts when we have better Cassandras6 available via séance.

I assure you, it'll all be very clean, assuming you don't mind my borrowing Dorian for this. It'll be no extra logistics on his part or yours.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99180

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-08

DATE: 31/03/2021

TO: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

PENNED BY: AMOS H. MARSHALL

Be my guest. Do what you want.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99200

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-09

DATE: 01/04/2021

TO: DORIAN C. SLOAN

PENNED BY: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

You will see I've updated the catalogue for this upcoming auction to include this villa. Now, since dead customers are not returning customers, you know this obviously isn't a retreat we send our friends on. This has an intended buyer.

When the time comes to sell off Lot 25, it is imperative that you make sure Esme Feldman is the one to purchase it. Nikos' widow, if you were wondering. A hack, truly, and more profitable to us dead than alive.

I will be in attendance on the fifth and will make sure to point her out to you. If I am unable to attend, Monaco will be there.

Sell it however you wish, just make sure Feldman wins the bid. I would also like the final price to come out to be a multiple of five, so keep that in mind. It's for good luck, you see.

Don't overthink it—it's just some spring cleaning, is all. You can handle that, yes?

Auction Record 01
MYK7X/BR05F/V9902
Date April 05, 2021 Location New York
Auctioneer Dorian Sloan Lot 25 of 102
Listing The best sleep of your life, guaranteed. A three-night stay in Mykonos, Greece, at a modern villa designed by renowned architect Nikolaj Sierpiński. While your body rejuvenates, you'll experience effortlessly lucid dreams that invite you to wander white-sand beaches and ancient landmarks under the stars, unencumbered by crowds or waking-world stressors. A perfectly peaceful retreat for the whole family. Marshall, Carter and Dark LTD takes no responsibility for the misuse of this item.
Name Bid Comments
Esme Feldman 70000USD
Vera Acevedo 77000USD Contracted bid-raiser to increase cost.
Beatrice Baines 85000USD Proxy bidder for Leslie Morgan
Faris Vanderbilt 90000USD
Vera Acevedo 93000USD Contracted bid-raiser to increase cost.
Esme Feldman 95000USD
Faris Vanderbilt 99000USD
Vera Acevedo 100500USD Contracted bid-raiser to increase cost.
Esme Feldman 105500USD Winner of auction.
Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd.

INTERNAL MEMO No. 99362

ATTACHMENT CODE: MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-10

DATE: 05/04/2021

TO: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

PENNED BY: DORIAN C. SLOAN

I hope you found the margins from this show to be satisfactory. I thought about taking Feldman up to 155, but I figured it was better to be less conspicuous. I'm aware I can get carried away, and I didn't want you to have to deal with her demanding to return something she can't afford.

She did ask after the show if there was a telescope on the premises, or if she would have to bring her own.

Zillow®

esmef057
07/05/2021
★★★★★

THESE WERE NOT THE DREAMS I WAS PROMISED.
NOW I SHALL NEVER DREAM AGAIN.
AD MORI PER ASTRA. AD MORI INTER ASTRA.8

INCIDENT REPORT MYK7X/BR05F/V9902-02

DATE: 08/05/2021

PENNED BY: RUPRECHT S. CARTER

Esme Feldman, along with her three children, spent May 1–4 in Mykonos before returning to New York.

At market open on the 6th, she rebalanced her portfolio to be invested entirely in CrudeShares Oil Fund LP (OXF), which we control. There is no indication she left her home until the morning of the 7th, when she took the subway to go lay down in the middle of the road on Fifth Avenue. Manhattan traffic does not stop for one woman.

As for the children91011, their bodies were not discovered until 5 this morning. All three were lying face up in a circle in Central Park. The imprints around their bodies suggest they had been making 'angels' in the dirt. If not for the light pollution, I'd say they died gazing upon the stars.

Already, our REITs12 are up 0.55% for the month.

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