Been A While, Crocodile
rating: +21+x

"What the hell is your deal?"

Larry sat opposite Greg at the lunch table, using a metal tray as a metaphorical and physical barrier between them. "How did you become like…this? You can't just end up becoming a talking crocodile without some story behind it!"

Greg looked up from his meat patty pie and looked at Larry.

"You want to know my history? Is this for a report?"

Without hesitation, Larry replied, "Yes."

The crocodile stretched its limbs out and groaned, nearly knocking over Larry's makeshift barrier.

"Very well then, allow me to start at the beginning, exactly 10 years ago."

This is going to be a long day.

"In the beginning, I was a fairly small and naive crocodilian. I was apart of the species family C. porosus, or Saltwater Cro-"

"Hang on, can you fast forward it a little bit? I don't want to end up sitting here for the rest of the day."

The croc adjusted his shirt. "Very well, I'll begin at the point I was aware of my own sentience, will that suffice?"


"Excellent. At the point that I gained sentience, I was unable to recall how it happened. After a while I theorised that due to my overabundance of willpower, my brain's frontal cortex evolved to the point of increasing the intelligence and sapience to that of a human being."

By this time, other researchers had noticed Larry and Greg's conversation. One researcher came over behind Larry, nearly giving the poor bastard a heart attack when he spoke.

"Oh man, look here guys! Greg's giving Larry his backstory!"

A small crowd surrounded the table, teeming with researchers eager to learn about this crocodile's journey to the Foundation. The crowd didn't seem to faze Greg, as he continued to recall and share his past.

"After a substantial amount of time since I acquired sentience, I began to tire of my old life. Nothing but unsuccessful hunts and embarrassing attempts to mate with a female of my kind. And so, one day, after a successful catch of a wallaby, it was then that I decided to quit my old life and start to pursue my dreams. I would become a biologist."

Larry held his head up using his hands. "Please tell me I'm dreaming."

"I'm afraid not, Larry. If you can, please refrain from speaking during this part of my past, it's very close to my heart and I would not be the person I am without it."

Larry nodded. Greg took a deep breath, and then began speaking again.

"After experimenting with human technology, I became accustomed to it, managing to find a suitable online university to take my course in. It was a blast! The classes were magnificent, the professors were helpful, and I could do it without revealing my true identity."

The croc went silent for a brief moment.

"But then, the day came. I cannot remember which day it was, or what happened before, but I remember exactly what happened at the university that day. Because I was so enthusiastic about earning my degree, and taking the final exams, I forgot that I was not like the others. When I stepped onto the campus that day, it all happened at once. The yells, the screams and curses. The sirens and barking dogs, the struggle of men lifting me into the back of a truck, my cries of apologies falling on deaf ears…"

The air became still and stale. Greg looked down at his food for what seemed to be hours. Larry pulled down his barrier and put his hand over to the reptile.


The croc put his hand up.

"Apologies, the flashback I just experienced was intense. Back to my story. By the time I got locked in my cell, the Foundation had already heard of what happened, a sapient crocodile roaming a university campus. Hilarious in hindsight, now that I roam an office all day without a single bat of an eye, except from the new guys." He let out a chuckle. "After I spent my days in a cage that was designed to contain a fairly large kangaroo, I was found and subsequently released by the Foundation. If I recall correctly, it was one of the former staff here: Steve. The staff interviewed me about my life story up to that point, and I told what I knew at the time. They first thought of making me a classified anomaly and contain me on a research site located in the jungle, but after they found out about my scientific expertise I was appointed as one of the staff, under the condition that I do not revert to my previous animalistic state. I agreed."

Larry had his head down on the table by this time. The small crowd of researchers grew to include some of the guards and doctors that passed by during their shift.

"I'm still listening Greg, I'm just thinking whether or not you're making a joke or not."

"I do not joke, Larry, it's in my contract. Anyway, I got appointed as one of the researchers of the Bio Wing, and it was everything I hoped for. I could study to my heart's content, and help those out that had trouble distinguishing me from the other crocodilians we had here. Of course, I then encountered you. You seemed pretty afraid of me, but I believe you have grown accustomed of me now."

The croc stroked its lower jaw in thought.

"And I believe that's it. That's been my life, from the day I achieved sapience, to this very conversation."

The hushed whispers of researchers filled the room, most echoing the same thing. Greg's life was an odd one, to say the least, if not interesting. As Greg got up from the table, the crowd quietly dispersed. Larry lifted his head up, his face red from where his arms were.

"I hope that sufficed your curiosity, Larry. Let me know if you need anything else, I'll be in the flamingo enclosure."

After the break room emptied, and left only Larry, he took the time to process what just happened to him. With a heavy sigh, Larry stood up and began his walk to his next shift. Now that he thought about it, he has more questions than answers from Greg's life story. He made a mental note to ask him later, starting with how the hell he got the money to go to university!?

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