ASSET 'FLORIDA ZERO'

From:

To:

CC:

Subject:

tdmoose@scp.int

miverson@scp.int

none

Asset 'Florida Grey' Issues?

I need you to do something about this. I saw some FSD maintenance workers taking one of the Asset 'Florida Grey' machines away for 'repairs'.

That was a month ago.

Where is our 'Florida Grey'?

From:

To:

CC:

Subject:

miverson@scp.int

tdmoose@scp.int

none

RE: Asset 'Florida Grey' Issues?

Dearest Director Moose,

You will not be getting the machines back, nor any shipments of 'Florida Orange' or 'Florida Grey'. Do not be concerned - you won't need them anymore.

Your friend,

ACCESS ASSET 'FLORIDA ZERO'?

ACCESS GRANTED.

BY ORDER OF THE FIRE SUPPRESSION DEPARTMENT

Access to the following file is limited to the Fire Suppression Department. Unauthorized access is forbidden.

SCP-999

SCP-999 instances, at 40x magnification.

Item #: SCP-999

Object Class: Thaumiel Neutralized Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-999-1 Processing Facilities are to be installed in every Foundation site, as ensuring access to SCP-999-1 by all Foundation employees is tantamount to containment.

Once per month, all Foundation Employees are welcomed to attend the mandatory blood donation, with suggested donations ranging from 1 to 2 pints.

It is critical that all Foundation Employees remain sufficiently hydrated at all times.

Description: SCP-999 refers to a species of cellular slime mold which originated from the neutralized SCP-999-X, an amorphous, orange, gelatinous mass. SCP-999 instances, when consumed orally, enter into a mutualistic relationship with their host. In exchange for the nutrients required for SCP-999 instances to mature, SCP-999 instances secrete endorphins that cause instantaneous, persistent and continual sensations of euphoria and overall 'happiness'.

SCP-999 instances are found within a solution known as Asset 'Florida Zero', a necessary part of the SCP-999 reproductive process.

Addendum 1: Asset 'Florida Zero'

Asset 'Florida Zero': Asset 'Florida Zero' refers to both the product replacing Asset 'Florida Orange', Asset 'Florida Grey', and all other variants or derivatives, and the processing facilities utilized in its creation. Tests have determined that the efficacy, permanency, and potency of Asset 'Florida Zero' is multitudes greater than that of previous formulations, as well as the original effects of SCP-999-X.

Asset 'Florida Zero' in a glass.

Processing Facilities and Blood Donation Centers are to be installed in every Foundation site, within the next year. In 80% of Foundation sites, processing facilities have already been installed and integrated directly into all plumbing and water filtration systems within the site. Asset 'Florida Zero' is entirely self-sufficient after the initial installation, and has reduced Foundation Mental Health Services usage by over 99.8%. Due to the overwhelming benefits and the sustainable nature of 'Florida Zero', it is expected to permanently address all Foundation hydration needs.

SCP-999 Lifecycle: The SCP-999 reproductive lifecycle is what allows the anomalous properties of Asset 'Florida Zero'. This process is detailed below:

Initial Asset 'Florida Zero' solution is to be distributed into a given Foundation site's water supply and filtration systems, once Asset 'Florida Zero' processing facilities are functional.
SCP-999 instances are consumed through oral ingestion of Asset 'Florida Zero', a fluid that is nearly indistinguishable from water.
SCP-999 instances enter into a mutualistic relationship with their human hosts, exchanging nutrients for endorphins — SCP-999 instances mature within a human host over a 14 day period.
During the monthly mandatory blood donation, between 1 pint and 1 gallon of blood¹ will be collected from each Foundation employee, and pumped to Asset 'Florida Zero' processing stations.
SCP-999-rich blood is converted into Asset 'Florida Zero' via the SCP-999 maturation process. The resulting product is produced at a 3:1 ratio, with three gallons of Asset 'Florida Zero' produced per gallon consumed. SCP-999 instances are now ready to begin the cycle again.

It is estimated that by the end of the year, all Foundation sites will feature fully integrated Asset 'Florida Zero' processing centers. Within the next 12 months, the Foundation will be able to provide potable water to all of humanity. Projections estimate that a total replacement of all water on earth by Asset 'Florida Zero' will take between three to five years, at the current rates.

This is a good thing.

From:

To:

CC:

Subject:

tdmoose@scp.int

miverson@scp.int

none

What did you do to me

What the fuck did you do to me Michelle. I know we're not supposed to feel them, but I can feel them. I can hear them, giggling in my sleep, those same emotions haunting me.

You need to fix me. Undo what you've done.

From:

To:

CC:

Subject:

miverson@scp.int

tdmoose@scp.int

none

RE: What did you do to me

Dearest Exuberant Director Moose,

I hope you will find working at the only organization boasting a 100% Employee Satisfaction rating a welcoming adjustment. I'm so happy that we can all share in the fun of working at one of our many incredible Foundation Facilities, no matter the danger!

Doesn't it feel good?

Your happy friend,

ASSET 'FLORIDA GREY'

ASSET FLORIDA

{$next-title}

Queerious's Works
SCPs	SCP-8755 • SCP-1611 • SCP-9900 • SCP-5632 • SCP-9490 • SCP-2346-EX • SCP-8478 • SCP-8426 • SCP-7238 • SCP-8355 • SCP-821 • SCP-8480 • SCP-8811 • SCP-8955 • SCP-8887 •
Tales/GoI Formats	Love Between The Margins • The Heart Grows Fonder • Seasons Pass • For Every Soldier, A Child • Selling an Idea • Don't Die: Kill Agents and You • Pseudoguilt • The Bowe Transition • A Tale Of Two Mailrooms • The Charon Express • The Deadname Meme • The Legend Of The Iron Goat • The Garrison Test • Single Contained Phenomenon • Goes Unpunished •
Other	Cabinet of Queerious-ities •

SCP Foundation

Secure, Contain, Protect

BY ORDER OF THE FIRE SUPPRESSION DEPARTMENT