An Actual Plan
rating: +36+x

The man on the tarmac had been waiting for five hours. Rain usually has a tendency to make flying difficult, which is one huge reason why Hiroyuki Watanabe hated Seattle. To his relief the plane had finally come into view on the horizon. The jet bounced a few times as it hit the landing strip, before slowing down enough to brake a few dozen feet away. The stairs themselves needed to be driven over, which gave Hiro enough time to straighten his black overcoat which had been flapping wildly in the wind. He would have straightened his hair too if he had a comb.

"Not much longer now, Hiro," he said to himself beneath his breath, "Just another favor and then you can go home."

As the door slid open on the plane, a silhouette came out that made Hiro snort.

"Don't tell me you're the arsonist," Hiro said flashing a condescending look at Eugene.

Eugene was shielding his head from the rain, due to not packing an umbrella. He was shivering in the cold, his suit already half-drenched and he had barely taken a few steps out. His normally puffy hair was flattening against his forehead. He looked less like the kind of person who could blow up a whole MCD facility and more like a drowned rat.

"Ah, hello!" Eugene said through chattering teeth, "A-are you the contact?"

Behind Eugene came the four clones, each of which were holding at least two suitcases.

"Weissman clones? I thought the arsonist was trying to stick it to Marshall, Carter and Dark," Hiro asked aloud, walking towards the stairway.

"They're not mine!" Eugene spat out, finally making it to the bottom, "And d-do you have an umbrella?"

Hiro rolled his eyes and reached into the bag slung around his shoulder. Rifling around, he pulled out a single black umbrella and tossed it to Eugene. It missed. Eugene fumbled with it on the ground before finally getting it open and holding it above his head.

"Thank you," Eugene said meekly.

"Where's the arsonist?" Hiro said, looking beyond Eugene.

Eugene laughed nervously, "Ah, ha, um… he's right here."

Eugene pointed to himself. The clones all finally descended the stairs and surrounded Eugene, forming a protective barrier of flesh on his right and left. Hiro stared at the rat man in front of him and quirked an eyebrow.

"Well then," Hiro said with a sigh as he turned around to the car, "Come on then, I've got a favor to follow through on and I intend to be done with it before Midnight."

"What's the favor?" Eugene asked, hurriedly following behind.

Hiro stopped and looked at Eugene like he had just insulted him, "This one, you idiot. I wouldn't be standing out in the middle of this shitty weather if anybody else but Nobody asked me to do it."

"Ah, hah, quite…" Eugene said meekly as he made his way into the sleek black car parked a little way away.

The clones remained quiet for the most part while they were loading up the luggage. Hiro loaded himself up in the driver's seat, staring at the group from the rear view mirror. He looked at the clock on the dashboard. 10:48 PM. He pulled out his map, looking at the address and thinking about how long it would take to get from here to there. He predicted about 45 minutes. He hoped he was being generous.

With a slam of the trunk, Eugene and the clones hopped into the back seat. Eugene gave Hiro a thumbs-up. He started the engine.

The scene of the streets of Seattle was a calming contrast to the buzz of thoughts swarming Eugene's mind. His fingers tapped against the arm rest and his stomach gurgled. Despite what would normally be a picturesque scene, Eugene still looked as tired and paranoid as he had for the last two weeks.

"You're thinking about something, aren't you Gene?" Rupert asked.

Eugene snapped back into reality, turning away from the window and towards the voice. He looked around the back seat, his eyes darting around as if Mr. Carter himself managed to sneak in. He sighed a sigh of relief when he saw it was just the clones.

"Please don't vomit again. You just ate on the plane," Robert added.

"I'm not going to-" Eugene was interrupted by another large stomach gurgle.

Hiro looked behind him in to the back seat, "Open a window if you want to puke, I'm not cleaning up those seats."

"I'm not going to vomit!" Eugene shouted back, eyes going wild.

Hiro tutted and turned forward to the road. Eugene turned back to the clones. They all had the face of worry that one would see on a mother looking at a child who just skinned their knee. Eugene rubbed his eyes and tried to compose himself.

"Everything is fine, I promise," Eugene said with a tired smile.

"No it's not," Roman said, "You're a horrible liar. We've all seen it."

"I'm not that bad," Eugene retorted, "I managed to get into the estate, didn't I?"

"Only to get held up at gunpoint," Roman added.

"Aren't you all supposed to be supportive of me? You know, Assistance Clones?" Eugene snapped back.

"We're trying to be supportive, Gene," Ramona said, "But you're keeping everything in. Talk to us, and we'll assist you."

Eugene tried to keep a stern face, but it only made him look like he was constipated. He broke his obvious charade and exhaled, looking away and out the window once more. The orange streetlights looked hypnotic, as if they were trying to lull him into the sleep he was so desperately craving right about now.

"I'm still worried about Mr. Carter," Eugene finally relented.

"Of course you are," Robert said.

"Marshall, Carter and Dark are a global business. They could have eyes anywhere," Rupert added.

Eugene turned back to the clones, eyes squinted, a look of incredulousness on his face.

"And despite that, you've escaped them so far and managed to fly across the country to live in a safe house, where we will all be secure forever," Ramona said, gesturing around her.

"I mean…" Eugene said, his face relaxing, "That's true…"

"But something is still bothering you beyond that," Roman said, leaning forward, "What is it?"

The sentence was punctuated by another stomach gurgle. Eugene moved his hand to roll down the window, but retracted it, instead opting to just do a few deep breathing exercises. They weren't helping.

"I feel like no matter what I'll do, I'll inevitably either get caught by Mr. Carter or… become Mr. Carter," Eugene muttered.

"What do you mean by that?" Robert and Rupert asked together.

"I mean…" Eugene fully turned around to face all of the clones, "If I hide and live the rest of my life in safety, they'll eventually find me. If I try to fight back, like I did with freeing you lot, I'll pile on all of this immoral, awful shit that'll eventually make me as bad as he is."

Hiro snorted from the front seat, "Kid, I don't know what you've been through, but burning down one building isn't even close to what MC&D have done. Unless you go full hyperdrive into the immoral shitheap, you're going to be fine."

"He's right," Ramona said, reaching to put a hand on Eugene's shoulder "And what's more, you think that you're doing awful things, but they're for good reasons. You won't have to worry about being as bad as he is, because at the very least you are-"

Before Ramona could finish her sentence, a speeding van had struck the car from the side, sending it flying end over end into an office building. Airbags triggered, forcefully shoving Eugene and the clones together in a heap. Hiro hit his head on the steering wheel, spraying blood on the windshield. As the car settled, Eugene could only hear the ringing in his ears.

Eugene moaned out in pain as he felt the dog bite wounds on his arms opening up again. As his hearing slowly returned to him, he heard the repetitive thump, thump, thump of an impact against metal. Eugene realized that his body was particularly warm, and opened his eyes achingly slowly. Wrapped around his head like a mother holding a child were the arms of Robert and Rupert, cradling him from the crash. They were alive, and they were far healthier than he was.

Eugene turned his head to the source of the thumping, and saw the Roman and Ramona too were alive, scratched but uninjured. In one final heave and thump, the two clones worked together to kick off the door of the car, providing an opening for everyone to escape. Before Eugene could say anything, Robert and Rupert had already unbuckled his seatbelt and escorted him out of the wreck.

The clones all stood tall while Eugene fell to his knees, coughing. The mysterious van had just started unloading its passengers, all armed to the teeth with their weapons trained at Eugene. The clones formed a barricade between him and the bounty hunters. Eugene's stomach gurgled once more.

"Please, go away!" Eugene shouted at the hunters, clutching at his stomach.

"No can do, mate," an anonymous voice shouted out, "You've got a price on your head if we take you alive. We don't need to take the sexbots, though."

A gunshot rang out, hitting Roman square in the shoulder.

"No!" Eugene shouted, reaching out to him.

Roman looked down at the bloody hole in his shoulder, and then back to the hunters. His face was stony, refusing to show any emotion. This gave a few of the hunters pause. This gave Eugene a glimmer of hope.

"What do you want us to do?" the clones asked Eugene.

Eugene looked up to them all and then to the hunters. He would do anything to stay out of Mr. Carter's clutches. He wasn't about to give in now, not after so much.

"Give them what they deserve," Eugene commanded the clones, staring maliciously at the hunters.

The clones all walked in step towards their enemy like diligent soldiers. The hunters trained their weapons at the four of them, opening fire. Bullet holes rocketed through them, but their stride was never broken. Ramona reached one of the hunters first, grabbing him by his shirt collar and raising him above her. In one swift, brutal motion, she slammed him against the asphalt, crushing his skull into a bloody pulp.

"Wait, hold on…" Eugene objected, weakly trying to stand up, "That's a little…"

Roman grabbed the fallen hunter's weapon and trained it on the rest of the crew. As Roman fired, Robert and Rupert chased the hunters too cowardly to defend their mates. They wrenched open the door to the driver's side, pulling out the screaming driver. The pair stomped on the driver's neck, crushing it with a squelch.

"Wait… wait!" Eugene shouted, raising a hand towards the violence, "Stop!"

The clones all stopped as commanded, turning back towards Eugene expectantly. The clones were dripping blood, not all of it theirs. The two remaining living hunters didn't dare make a move, though they couldn't help but whimper in fear. Eugene kept his hand in the air, looking down to the ground. He vomited.

"Is there something wrong?" Ramona asked.

"Just…" Eugene heaved, "That's enough… please… stop."

Robert and Rupert took their foot off the body of their victim. Ramona dropped the poor hunter that she was rubbing into the side of the van. Roman dropped his gun. The rain was mixing with the carnage, directing a red stream to a nearby drainpipe. They all calmly walked back to Eugene's side, each putting a hand on his shoulder. Eugene shrugged them all off, backing away from them.

"Are you alright?" they all asked in unison.

"N-no!" Eugene said, eyes welling up, "I'm not!"

"Then let us-"

"Don't fucking touch me!" Eugene said, waving them away.

"Very well, we will do as you-"

Eugene groaned loudly, pulling at his hair. The hunters took this as an opportunity to get up and limp away, loading into the van and starting it up. The clones looked behind them as the van started to speed off down the streets.

"They're getting away, should we go after them?" Ramona asked.

"Stop listening to me! Stop doing everything I tell you!" Eugene spat out, burping as he felt more bile rising.

"But…" Roman tilted his head, "They were going to harm you, they were going to try to kill us."

"Did you not want us to kill them? To fight them back?" Robert and Rupert asked, looking at each other.

"This, this," Eugene gestured to the scattered corpses on the ground left behind by the van, then to the viscera-covered chests of the clones themselves, "This is what I was worried about!"

The clones looked back at the corpses, then back to Eugene.

"Why should you be worried? Those weren't good people," Roman said, "We gave them what they deserved. They would have done far worse to you."

"But… but…" Eugene fell to his knees and wailed into the open air, "I don't want to be a murderer! I don't want to be a thief, I don't want to be an arsonist! I just want to do what's right!"

Eugene took a moment to breathe, the clones just staring at him in shock. He pushed against the ground, standing back up and walking towards the car. Hiro hadn't moved. Eugene assumed it was because of the shard of glass embedded in his temple. Eugene reached through the car window, grabbing the torn remains of the map. He turned it around in his hands.

"Fuck… Completely bloody illegible." Eugene said, tossing the map into the wind, "Guess I'll just have to wander."


"You don't have to follow me if you don't want to. I won't tell you what to do anymore," Eugene said, trudging off in a direction, hoping he'll end up where he needs to be.

After a beat, the clones followed.

"I guess this will do…" Eugene said, looking at the dilapidated warehouse in front of him, "Fucking hell how deep have I gone into this…"

The clones, despite being obviously faster and healthier than Eugene, kept a safe distance while following him. They were just as surprised to see Eugene ending his hike on this abandoned pier, standing in front of a monolithic building that smelt of rotted wood and seaweed.

"Gene…" Ramona said, daring to walk closer to him.

Eugene turned around, giving her a stink eye, "I said I wasn't telling you what to do anymore. You can go."

Ramona stopped walking towards Eugene, a shocked frown developing on her face. Roman, Robert and Rupert all stood behind, not sure what to say. When they didn't leave immediately, Eugene turned around fully, angrily staring down all of them despite being at least a foot shorter than them.

"Did you not hear me? I said 'You can go'!" Gene shouted, "I've done nothing but cause trouble, and now I've gotten you all involved in it! You'd all be a lot happier at a nursing home or something!"

Eugene was drooling and crying, but it was disguised by the storm. His face was beet red and utterly drenched in cold rainwater. The clones knew that he would catch hypothermia if he stayed outside much longer.

"We want to stay with you, Gene," Roman said cautiously.

"Why? Why?!" Eugene asked, the bags under his eyes accenting the tiredness in his soul.

"Because, like I was going to say," Ramona said, "You're a good person, Gene. Despite what you think."

"Would a good person tell you to kill someone? Would a good person put another person in a coma and then steal from them?" Eugene asked, waving his hands around like a madman.

"You didn't tell us to kill them, and they were going to take you to Mr. Carter," Robert said.

"And you didn't steal us from anyone. You saved us from being used by that man," Rupert added.

Roman, Robert and Rupert all took steps to join Ramona, standing solid with her. Eugene's breaths were labored and his entire suit was soaked. Damp hair stuck to his face, making it hard to see in the already dim light. His posture made him look like a rabid animal finally getting cornered by pest control.

"It's just…" Eugene blubbered, "So hard. I thought it would be easy… being good. I could make a company that does things the right way and make good products and… now I know that I'll just fall into the shitter just like everyone else. It's fucking inevitable."


Eugene didn't care who said it, he turned around and trudged towards the warehouse that would apparently be his new home for however long he had left. To him, it may as well have been his coffin. The clones followed closely behind.

"Gene, please, just listen to us," the clones all said.

Eugene flung open the door, causing the rusty metal handle to leave a sizable dent in the rotted wooden siding. He looked around, taking in the sulfuric ocean smell and seagull shit stains everywhere.

"Welcome home, Gene!" Eugene shouted into the rafters, punctuating it with a tired laugh.

Eugene collapsed against the wall, laughing to himself and clutching at his face. He just wanted to sleep, he just wanted to pretend this was all a dream and be done with it all. Go back to being a blissfully unaware apprentice who didn't have to worry about how he was going to die or what the ramifications of every action he made were. The clones looked through the doorway at him with a look of genuine hurt.

"Gene… We know that you're stressed. We know that you're tired. We know that you're hurt," Robert and Rupert said.

"Bloody fucking geniuses, you lot," Eugene said, rolling over on the musty ground, "Bet it took a lot of detective work to solve that out, eh?"

"But you don't have to insist on being alone. We're not here because you told us to be," Ramona said, walking through the doorway and crouching down by Eugene, "We're here because we want to be. You're our friend. And we see a spark in you that makes us want to be more than what we are."

Eugene looked over his shoulder to see the other clones following suit behind her. He groaned and turned back around, covering his face with his mildewy suit jacket. Ramona briefly reached out a hand to his shoulder, but retracted it. It wasn't the right time yet.

"We know you want to start a company to rival Marshall, Carter and Dark," Roman said, "And we know you want to do it in a way that's good. The right way."

"We're trying to tell you that sometimes… the right way isn't necessarily good. To do the right thing isn't always to do the good thing," Robert said.

"Like the fire. Or shooting Mr. Thoroughwood," Rupert said.

Eugene turned his head again, "Oh hey, you finally stopped calling him 'Sir'. Thank bloody fuck, too. Creeping me out."

"The point is, the company you make may not be the company you had in mind," Robert and Rupert say, "But we'll be willing to help at least be a company you can be proud of."

Eugene let out a coughing laugh, "Y-you still think we can start a company? Look at where we are! The fucking dregs! What can we build out of this?"

"We can start with what we know," Ramona said, "Sex. People expect Weissman clones to be used for sex, and we can use that as a weapon. Lure perverts into traps, liberate more clones, bring them here."

"More fucking robbery?" Eugene coughed out.

"Like we said, doing the right thing isn't always a good thing. Imagine how many others like us you could save!" Roman said, smiling and trying to get Eugene to smile too.

"Once we get the manpower, we can make the business! We'll handle the legwork, you can be the man behind the scenes, making sure that nobody goes too far," Robert said.

"After all, someone needs to be in charge," Rupert added.

"Oh fuck no, I'm not going to be the bloody CEO," Eugene said, sitting up to face them, "Look at where my decision making has gotten us. If anything, I'd settle for advisor at best."

"Then teach us business. We'll run it, you make sure that we run it right," Ramona said, placing a hand on Eugene's knee, "Now's not the time to give up. We might become corrupt in the future, or get caught and destroyed by someone more powerful, but right now we can make a change in the present, so let's work on that."

"Inevitabilities be damned!" Roman said, pumping a fist in the air.

For a moment, Eugene almost believed that maybe Mr. Weissman had been in each of those clones. The words coming out of their mouths had definitely evolved from the 'Yes Sir', 'No Sir' that he was introduced to. He cracked a smile. Roman clapped his hands together in satisfaction. Robert and Rupert looked expectantly at each other, and then to Eugene. Ramona just tried to be supportive.

"Alright. Fine," Eugene said, using the wall behind him to stand up, "I'll teach you all what to do."

"We'll fight the sex industry with their own weapons!" Roman cheered into the air.

"Hopefully by the time we're done we'll run the sex industry," Robert chimed in.

"People will either fear us or respect us," Rupert added.

"Maybe not… right away," Eugene said, waving their excitement down with his hands, "But we'll get there."

The clones all rushed forward to give Eugene a hug, crushing them all between their toned, wet bodies. This was the closest Eugene had ever gotten to an orgy, and probably the closest he'll ever get. They let go, smiles proudly displayed on everyone's faces.

"Hey, I just thought of a name, too," Eugene piped up, wiped hair out of his face.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" the clones asked.

"How does 'Inevitability Industries' sound?" Eugene said, gesturing as if he was presenting the name on a plate.

"That… is the least sexy name I've ever heard for a sex company," Roman said.

"Well, I like it at least," Ramona said as she turned to face Roman, "Makes us stand out. People will know the name once they hear it."

"I can see it working," Robert said with a shrug.

"Yeah… I think it'll grow on me," Rupert added with the other half of the shrug.

The five of them looked out at the damp, rotted warehouse that they would call their new home. They imagined it as an empire, filled to the brim with neon and latex and debauchery and rules. If a person didn't follow the rules, they wouldn't get to play. A flash of hope went across each of their eyes as it became clear in their heads one thing: their reign, above all else, would be inevitable.

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