Ambrose Temecula
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Document recovered from Location of Interest within Temecula, California after Operation "Delivery Service" that was previously owned by the Ambrose Restaurant. This document is preserved for use by MTF Lambda-14 ("One Star Reviewers") in their continuing efforts to combat this group of interest.


Seaside Super Shrimp:
Our shrimp are the largest in the city, without question! Order single shrimp of sizes 1/4 pound or 1/2 pound
West Coast Wings:
Watch in delight as your serving of spicy wings literally fly out of the kitchen!
Seance Soup:
Our famous blue soup can have you dining with your relatives, even if you've never seen them alive! Only one serving per person, ghost dining menu available on request.
Temecula Slider Towers:
Enjoy this particular starter, and experience life without friction for the next half hour! (Ambrose is not responsible for any injuries sustained while not under the laws of friction.)
A Healthy Salad:
It may look like a pile of warm veg, but thanks to innovations by a local anartist, it'll taste exactly like a cheeseburger!
Singularity Salmon:
A large salmon dish, served with roasted potatoes and beans, that defies the laws of geometry!
Omnipotent Potato Wedges:
Our deep fried wedges are superior to all other dishes, and will make that fact known! Any food placed on the plate with them will also become potato wedges!
Gangster's Grub:
Become awestruck as the two halves of your meal fight for supremacy on your plate! The victor determines the flavour, never the same taste twice!
Tint Taquito:
Change your hue for the duration of your meal with this delicious Mexican delight!
Barbecue fish:
Carefully grilled piscomorph from one of at least three realities, depending on availability.
Conceptual Curry:
This dish is the pure concept of a madras curry, zero calories, and entirely transparent! Ask your waiter to add it to another dish.
Chef's Choice:
Changes weekly, ask your server!
Easter Frog's Eggs:
Rendered safe to eat by freezing and boiling, this delicious chocolate-like treat can be enjoyed year-round!
Midnight Cotton Candy:
A dark treat, sure to tickle your insides! Exclusively available at all of our restaurants thanks to The Circus of the Disquieting, the Greatest Show in all the Worlds!
Sunside Sugar Shack:
A sweet treat you're sure to enjoy, and it'll give you a sunny disposition as well!
Mango Salsa:
Two fruits performing a Latin dance on your plate! Muy caliente!


Customer Reviews: Temecula


Great place to eat with a good selection of food!

Good to finally have a place to eat that suits my more esoteric tastes. Great location too!


I've spent a couple of enjoyable evenings here, the changing menu items are interesting, but I feel like using actual self-modifying menus would improve it a lot.


I didn't like the waiter's face.


The atmosphere is really down to earth, which is tricky to pull off with some of these menu items! Five stars!


Food was good, but about half way through our meal some anophiliac ran at our table and tried to stuff his dick into our drinks.


Place was crawling with guards, I think there was some kind of incident recently? Managed to have an enjoyable enough meal, but I was constantly on edge.


If you ever want my custom again, you'll repair your draconian laws! If you refuse to serve me based on one unplanned incident than I will be forced to incite the Foundation upon your establishment.


I had a great meal with the family, everyone said their meals were excellent! I had the fish, and experienced flavors that don't exist in this world!


There was a sale on, and the owner himself cooked for us! Only downside was the ongoing memetic outbreak in the city, but that's hardly this place's fault.

…It wasn't, right?


My mouth literally will not stop watering!

Seriously, how do you deal with runaway salivation?


Fuck you.

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