Ambrose Esterberg

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Critique Lodge

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Esterberg, Częstochowa, Poland


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A Large-feathered Fellow
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I don't understand where I am. Please, if this is reaching anyone, please help me. I do not understand. Last thing I remember was the Gallery, and when I woke up I was among these trees. Jesus Christ, anyone, please.

Restaurant Response: Don't worry — it definitely won't be reaching anyone, ever — similarly to how our "lower" children and families never reached the surface again after years in your prisons. Have fun in our hell you could have prevented when you let us attack the devil's Factory alone, you sick aristocratic fucks :)


Member of the Forgotten
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You fucking animals. How dare you raise your hand on your masters and gods! You will regret this, you fucking disgusting pieces of shit. Just wait until the rest knows about this. You will think the fate of the Night's Children was a good one when we get out, you atrocious pleb!

Restaurant Response: We wouldn't worry about getting out — you won't. Have fun staying among everyone you ever wronged, forever, until the last light goes dim. Hope you enjoy being the "animals" this time! ^^


A Child of the Ever-changing Woods
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Please, there's no food here. It tried to eat me today, just… please, help me! I will do anything, please; I'm sure once the Queen returns, she will remember who helped her loyal subjects. I'm afraid it will come again soon, I'm, begging you. I won't have the strength to fight back again. Please, I'll do anything, there's no ti

Restaurant Response: After all these years of feasting, food really shouldn't be an issue for you, you fat piece of shit. We, however, might finally eat something that's more than the scraps of what your pigs ate in the clean palaces above our caves. And it looks like we are going to have a feast indeed! A truly unique texture. It really does taste excellently tart.

Ambrose Restaurants
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This is a ridiculous farce. Ambrose Restaurants have never nor will ever attempt to create an establishment within the Ruling District due to the everchanging political space within the area. This is a mockery of the company's good name and practices and will not be tolerated. Prepare to see our lawyers soon.

Restaurant Response: Just be glad your people were never a part of the list. Enjoy that comfort, because it might not last as long as you think. The Inventor sends her regards.

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